Jack Monroe #98 Thoroughly Naff

[Veronicaaa]

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She am mental. 1.463 more words?

10 retweets so far - unsure if it was all worth it, Jack.

 

[kachoochoo]

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notice me mom! *insert morph gif that I can't find now*

(it must've been weeks since I used this) what, it was only yesterday?!

I think I found something to add to the list? I mean, this never happened, right?View attachment 296462

christ, I'd forgotten this. back to the list...

 

[LennyBriscoe]

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Jack:
“I’d happily go and sit back on a supermarket checkout in blissful anonymity”

Also Jack:
“Me me me me look at me, I’m half naked on my sideboard...me me me me look at me causing Twitter pile ons...me me me me look at me begging for attention, Twitter notifications, articles about me in newspapers and cold, hard cash.

And for god sake, WILL SOMEONE MAKE ME RELEVANT! And give me loads of money. For nothing”.

 

[MrsOgre]

I typed budget recipe websites into google and it's 3rd down the list, so she isn't the number one. Added uk and she is way down the bottom.

 

[NP]

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She am mental. 1.463 more words?

 

[Silver Linings]

She really thought dainty southern housewives snaffled half a bleeping squishy fishy egg?!

<Ron Burgundy I don’t believe you gif>

 

[Thatmoonringisdanielles]

Those housewives must have sulphuric diarrhea

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Surely the point of thermals is that they give you an extra layer? If she takes her top layer off when she gets home and 'scampers' about in just thermals then they're nothing more than pyjamas If she's doing that her cold, draughty bungalow can't actually be that cold? Or am I missing something??

Possibly, you're missing... Jimmy.

 

[maytoseptember]

That recipe is 1.526 words long.

James Martin has a recipe for anchoïade on the BBC website. 88 words.

Which would you choose?

This is my favourite part:

Anchoiade, pronounced an-shoy-ard but very quickly, according to a French youtuber with a voice of clipped velvet with a laugh never far behind, was stumbled across on the Instagram feed of my former Daily Kitchen Live colleague, Matt Tebbutt. A passing mention on a restaurant menu, that I scrawled in a notebook, commenting ‘Oh, anchoiade!’ with hearts for eyes, as though I knew what it was. I didn’t, of course, but I loved the word already, and suspected I would love the thing itself.

Her writing is so cringeworthy!

No wonder it takes her so long to write up recipes, when she insists on padding them out with so much flowery, unnecessary prose.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[instacharlie]

Glad to see she's lost another Patreon. Now at 359. C'mon people, see the light!

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Why would a pressure cooker be a fire risk? My mum used one when we were little, and I use one regularly. It sits on top of the hob so no more a fire hazard than a pan. I know there are now electric ones, but they are put through stringent safety tests. In the over 60 years I have seen one used and using one, there have never been any problems. Does she think they explode like a bomb?

They scare the life of me but I am a right wuss!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

This is my favourite part:

Anchoiade, pronounced an-shoy-ard but very quickly, according to a French youtuber with a voice of clipped velvet with a laugh never far behind, was stumbled across on the Instagram feed of my former Daily Kitchen Live colleague, Matt Tebbutt. A passing mention on a restaurant menu, that I scrawled in a notebook, commenting ‘Oh, anchoiade!’ with hearts for eyes, as though I knew what it was. I didn’t, of course, but I loved the word already, and suspected I would love the thing itself.

Her writing is so cringeworthy!

No wonder it takes her so long to write up recipes, when she insists on padding them out with so much flowery, unnecessary prose.

I saw someone comment on Twitter once before that they as an ADHD sufferer just want the bloody directions and not all the faff to wade through. You'd think that would be something for Jack to think about as she has (not sure if she's ever mentioned it) ADHD.

 

[jenny2603]

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I did this with howling and eggs. It's really transformed Twitter. Don't see much of Jack, mind.

 

[Veronicaaa]

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This post currently has more RTs and likes than her ode to anchoiade.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

2 things. HOD L has liked this and JM has started crediting herself with photography and writing. On her own insta posts.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for. The Jack Monroe fishy eggy tit show
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She takes 1400 ish words to talk about her fishy eggs, and uses the word maelstrom during it. Ffs, it's a few hard boiled eggs.

I hope she reads her books on a kindle in bed, could you imagine the state of a real book a few months on, stinking of rancid oil, smelly fish and sulfurous eggs. The pages all greasy. Do you think she wipes her hands on her bedding?

And why no olive oil? I thought she was a food writer, even when we were really hard up I always had veg and olive oil in the cupboard, as you use them for different things (I'm fancy), and I shopped at netto

 

[Veronicaaa]

Nigella's logged on to twitter to wish Richard E Grant and his wife a happy anniversary but is thus far studiously ignoring the fact she was tagged in the egg recipe.

 

[Silver Linings]

The replies to that comply tweet.......how do these people function?!

 

[Switchstreetz]

Sorry to quote myself but the pics include a VERY fancy looking cocktail and several screenshots of BBC food recipes.

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CSI tech: fourth screenshot from the left, inset image top right, zoom and enhance please?
*the sentient mirror crops and sharpens the screenshot*
CSI tech: Jesus Christ! Is that...?!
Horatio: Cheap wet ham. We have our culprit.
That other one with the really blue eyes: but she said she was vegan?
Horatio: well it looks like this little piggy has been..
*puts on glasses*
Horatio: ...telling porkies