Jack Monroe #98 Thoroughly Naff

[HarderFaster]

Waiting for the poster who worked with Jack to tell us every gory detail like



Also if she doesn’t stop saying that a supermarket checkout is some kind of back-up option that she’s vastly overqualified for I’m going to have an aneurysm. She is just the worst. God forbid she should talk to barbers or checkout assistants like they’re human beings and not mere drones in minimum wage jobs. bleep.

She’d be fired from a checkout in about 12 minutes for being an aggro prick to someone who dared to buy a fresh lemon. “FANCY, are we? I work on a checkout. Can only afford bottled”.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Lanie]

Sorry but now I wouldn't only to struggle the food she would serve at a dinner party but now I would be paranoid she's using the very plates and cutlery she uses to scoop the cat food out on to the plates not to mention using cat tins for napkin rings. Gross gross gross.

Sorry to people that do this if they are offended but I just can't. All my pets have their own bowls and cultery. ( Fork)

 

[Scarletfever]

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This has been done you prat.
Next!

This thing about child labour and nepotism sounds very familiar to me, convinced this is a rip off of someone else's tweet from quite some time ago? Damn my memory.

 

[lilamay]

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'but don't tell my dad I've got one!' tehehe

You're 32, Jack.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I thought exactly the same. It’s like that thing in books and films, is it an Easter egg they call it? She’s dropping little hints, I’m sure of it.

Hahaha! Yeah, 'Foreshadowing!'

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Emmapism]

You might 'go back' on a checkout Jack but you'd last five minutes at it.

Same as the twelvty billion other jobs you've had because you're utterly shite, can't stick with anything and your head is so far up your own arse you can't breathe.

My Mum worked at a supermarket for years and only took voluntary redundancy because they were trying to force her into working unsociable hours. People like my Mum are worth 10 of you you grifting shitpouch.

 

[blurstoftimes]

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Most people would be honoured to have such a platform. What an ungrateful bleeping bleep.
.

also why is SB up and awake suggesting business ideas for his mum at 7pm, i thought the wee little chap would be tucked up in bed after his 5pm dinner of eyelid sausages and lentils by now

 

[chocolate choux]

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This has been done you prat.
Next!

Yes, why is child labour frowned upon?
You’ve used him to further your career enough already. Leave him alone, you vulture

 

[Captainmouse]

As if you’d last a week doing retail shift work, you twit.

As if anybody would employ her in the first place? Can you imagine trying to interview her? Constantly banging on about herself, nightmare

 

[PunkyMonkey]

I really like kale. The thought of her doing that to it is really upsetting. If you just crisp it in the oven with some oil and salt kids will enjoy it rather than wonder why all their food is covered with grass cuttings.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

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Not a fire fighter then!!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Reading the interactions she has with the squiggles is like reading one of those Victorian Gothic novels; where the love of the protagonist's life died in the 'Charge Of The Light Brigade' and the big reveal is that she never mentally recovered and has been talking to her childhood dolls this whole time.

 

[Pocahontas]

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Looks like another project pending for the list @kachoochoo - fun and cheap things for young people to cook with very little support.

‘Funnily enough, that was meant to be book 3 SOME YEARS AGO. He designed the cover for it and everything and they still add to it’ (Translation: I got there first, Buddy Oliver. So watch your back)

 

[LavaFlake]

At a local paper when she had a stint at being a journalist - didn’t last long!

Tell us more...

 

[Captainmouse]

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She could leave it in the puddle for him

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Looks like another project pending for the list @kachoochoo - fun and cheap things for young people to cook with very little support.

‘Funnily enough, that was meant to be book 3 SOME YEARS AGO. He designed the cover for it and everything and they still add to it’ (Translation: I got there first, Buddy Oliver. So watch your back)

Can't wait for The Mandoline chapter

 

[MeleeOn]

As an actual chef I'm happy to provide any alternative lockdown advice to the canbal. Hausfrau -.here's my first piece of lockdown wisdom - dont eat Jack's slop