Jack Monroe #93 I can’t believe she’s no butter

[MancBee]

Jack's probably pissed off because 'her' charities have found a much, much, much better ambassador.

View attachment 283852

Fixed that for you.

Why is she going on about rich people needing to pay their taxes...when she owes a tax bill?!

She is not rich, she is poor. Keep up.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I'm away on a little COVID safe UK break and I've just seen this in the room....is it a you know what?!

It's got a lovely cheeky face!

 

[blurstoftimes]

Yes exactly this. When your food budget is restricted you need reliability. Back in my skint years, I tended to avoid fresh fruit to an extent for the simple reason that you don't know when you're going to get something sour. Veg is more reliable, similarly you know a tin of beans will taste the same as the last one as will your basic pasta sauce recipe. I'm not suggesting fruit dodging is a healthy approach btw but it does highlight how a tight budget will adversely affect your nutritional intake over time- you can have a good basic diet but not an excellent one.

But what about fruit of the low-hanging variety? Jack's favourite!

 

[colouredlines]

PLACE YOUR BETS NOW

Will Jack's lack of action this week be based on...

a) being hounded by trolls
b) autism
c) ADHD
d) being the only person in the history of the world to have both b) and c)
e) Tories
f) She left.
g) Asda Smart Price got too expensive so now she has no money to be an activist
h) Burn out
i) Ouchy mouth

Quoting myself because MAVERICK, but I forgot the real answer:

Lack of action? She's masterminded it all from behind the scenes mate!

 

[FrumpyCat]

I don't think even Jack knows anymore.

I think Jack is trying to be a poverty campaigner, without all the boring campaigning bit.

I really don't think there is anything she can do to make herself relevant again. And pretending she is working with MR is just weird.

 

[Lanie]

View attachment 285577
What

A

Coward.

Do it all in my name, making sure my twitter handle stays in the tweets so when this is all written up I recieve equal credit for doing sweet fuck all.

I stupidly thought she might have actually decided this looks bad so she’d stay quiet but she can’t help herself, she’s addicted.

I was quite happy that she had stayed quiet after yesterday. I can imagine her agents constantly texting damage control, delete that. Etc
She had absolutely nothing to add the ball is rolling in its own after Marcus kicked it towards its very own fantastic goal. She's be better staying on the bench in a polite manner.

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

Sorry I always say this but I can’t keep up but am I the only one thinking she secretly loving what’s going on because she feels as though she has some kind of purpose?? She has something to tweet about. If the government had agreed the free school means then she would have fuck all to bore us with

 

[byropaw]

Just to highlight how absurd adult baby Jack is, a few weeks ago we were on spin class instructor Jack (ft. someone else’s teeth - whose are they?!)

View attachment 283924

I think she has someone else's boobs in this photo, as well as teeth. This alleged photo before alleged full on burnout *actually* falls in the period where she was allegedly so sick and thin she had to keep telling us she didn't have an eating disorder.

Use a spreadsheet for your lies of black eyes

 

[Blurp]

I know there are much more important things to discuss today, but doesn‘t this totally contrast her “military around the edges” comments?
first seen here -

Jack Monroe #88 Jack, sell the Emin!

I was just looking for the Chinese chicken curry recipe and stumbled upon this https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/dec/11/jack-monroe-chicken-casserole-recipe Keeping it real in the comments section, just like all self-respecting food writers do. Historical gems available by...

tattle.life

(images to compare and contrast)
View attachment 285511View attachment 285512

It depends. I still remember failing Commodore's Rounds once for failing to dust my lightbulb, and I grew up with a father with a white glove inspection mentality left over from work.

However, I do have severe problems with organisation and fall to pieces when any structure is taken away. Give me the structure and I'll cope admirably. So I have only a small locker to fit my kit in and have to lay out my clothes for inspection to a required size? Fine. A small room for everything and everything to be away? Fine. Give me a house or flat and no structure? Unorganised chaos. However, having spent a small fortune on drawer organisers, my kitchen and bedroom drawers have been ruthlessly Marie Kondoed and are still neat and tidy months later. The rest? That's another story.

 

[Lanie]

To be honest I would prefer a book voucher. It gives these people a choice and there choices are already so limited due finances.

 

[Candytuft]

Just wondering when the pile on will start....

If she piles onto my friend. A genuine, proper friend I will DO SOMETHING

 

[Lanie]

She still hasn't added the water needed for the Pangrattato Al Pomodoro soup. Or written up the anchoïade recipe. Or the butter sausage, kale and pea curry recipe. Or the scrambled eggs and mayo recipe. Or the... oh the list is neverending! How come I can remember the things she needs to do but she can't?!

Shes busy shaking her fists at all the injustices that have happened to her.

 

[Flivver]

]


The grease of a thousand bollock sausages probably.

Lard.
Too short - Laaaaaaaaaaaard (not butter, she can’t afford it).

 

[colouredlines]

Yes exactly this. When your food budget is restricted you need reliability. Back in my skint years, I tended to avoid fresh fruit to an extent for the simple reason that you don't know when you're going to get something sour. Veg is more reliable, similarly you know a tin of beans will taste the same as the last one as will your basic pasta sauce recipe. I'm not suggesting fruit dodging is a healthy approach btw but it does highlight how a tight budget will adversely affect your nutritional intake over time- you can have a good basic diet but not an excellent one.

You're right, especially in the UK, where fruit is often imported and not very nice. Here I can get it much cheaper and fresher - but I still need to plan around how much I can eat before it will go off. A punnet of ripe nectarines would be a shit buy for one person, for example.

In my poorer days, I found fresh fruit unreliable (there is nothing worse than a mealy apple ) and expensive. The easiest and most reliable option is bananas...but they get overripe quickly, so it helps if you have some ideas of what to do then.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Is Gordan Ramsey's son (the Royal Marine) same one who went to see where his Dad grew up? There was a programme about it last year.
He went to see the closed down youth club which gave his Dad hope and a start in life.


He came across as such a nice young lad and he totally "got it" and said to is Dad at the end that it was a shame the youth club had closed down. He felt his Dad might not have succeeded so well in life without that bit of hope and encouragement which came from the club.
Gordan Ramsey promptly said "yes I would have done". It made me a bit sad as with all his money he could perhaps have renovated and reopened the youth club which had benefiited him. Instead he chose to ignore the part it played for him as a teenager.

Am sure he gives to charities.....most celebs do, but would have been nice to see him putting some money into the area he came from to benefit other youngsters.

He absolutely should have done that! Gordon came across as a bit of a twat, typical type that’s always right. His son seemed decent though.

 

[Captainmouse]

Lard.
Too short - Laaaaaaaaaaaard (not butter, she can’t afford it).

She most certainly can afford it, but is pretending she can’t, She's got a case of Hellman’s yet chooses to buy mayo, she could have bought butter, but no it’s all for show.

 

[Thymian40]

My list of least favourite Jack incarnations -

1. List Jack. (I love air, oxygen, good old breathing gas, airy fairy, oxy moxy, o2......) until the tweet runs out with no punctuation and straight into the next.

2. Dickensian Jack.

3. Thesaurus Jack. Bonus annoyance if the word is wrongly used.

4. Seductive Jack. Just, no.

5. Politics Jack. Sigh.

6. Jack and the hilarious adventures of Cooper the cat. Cat does things. Jack tells us, or worse, films him grooming for 49 seconds.

7. Mama Jack. Most annoying when SB is inexplicably being described as a toddler but applicable to all mama tweets.

8. Chef Jack. I know nothing about food so most of her mishaps don’t rile me. As an amateur though her food looks yuck.

Fin.


Ah shit, love. Sorry for my tone deaf post. I’m distancing myself from taking JM seriously today. I hope your friend is ok.

Oh my god, you’ve got absolutely nothing to say sorry for. She’s tweeted her in the past and cooks stuff from her books, so I’m not surprised, two of our other mutual friends think JM is the new messiah too. I daren't criticise her...it’s poo with knobs on. (Recipe to follow)

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Oh look someone all up in Jack's niche doing easy, tasty food.

From frozen toasties to emergency cookies: a beginner’s guide to batch cooking

It’s cheap, it’s eco-friendly and it saves an awful lot of time – it’s time to embrace batch cooking

www.theguardian.com

Some of the comments are . One mentions their pantry AND downstairs fridge.

 

[spirals]

Yikes, when you read it all again like that ... it’s painful how terrible and unprofessional that was.

Absolutely cringing - trying to imagine tweeting out every ragey thought that goes through my head.

 

[Captainmouse]

Yeah and one of the replies to that actually recommends Jack!

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Trades descriptions act, they are not HEALTHY recipes spec savers squiggle