Jack Monroe #89 Did you know she once ran out of jam?

[Scarletfever]

Um, where's the chicken thigh stock?

I am concerned for its wellbeing.

They *are* very .... clean, aren't they? Not a tiny dribble of slop in sight. #makesuwonder

Not a lump in sight. Lids perfectly smooth.

I am sure they're stuffed with delicious home made meals! I mean, JM said so!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

just going off the top of her followers, so people who I follow who also follow her, Yotam Ottolenghi and Jeremy Lee. also mom Nigella, who does not identify as a chef, and lots of people off bake off.

Yotam... Day. Ruined.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I feel like if she *had* actually lugged her freezer out into the garden in order to clean and defrost it we would have had a blow by blow description some mention of it. Interesting too that there is nothing else to be seen in the freezer pics other than her packaged meals. I guess she's got one freezer dedicated to that and one of her other ones filled with frozen eyelid sausages and chopped veg and Ocado ready meals.

All that stuff’s in the Smeg, hun

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Um, where's the chicken thigh stock?

I am concerned for its wellbeing.



Not a lump in sight. Lids perfectly smooth.

I am sure they're stuffed with delicious home made meals! I mean, JM said so!

Honestly it’s probably dangerously acidic by now, forget the Cotswolds induced sink hole we’ve got to pray for the citizens of Southend that tit doesn’t get in the water supply.

 

[Droosie123]

Am amazed that any chef follows her.

She’s been in the public eye and is still seen as a poverty campaigner despite doing no campaigning. I guess that’s it.

I do wonder how long she can keep getting an income from it all though,

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

Out of fairness and balance, I have to confess, that I tried to triangulate the posh pasta and spinach ready meal, (which I actually thought looked alright) and I cannot find anything similar in M&S currently.

Honestly though it does just look liked she used posh expensive fresh pasta (the con artist) and some butternut squash and spinach.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Honestly it’s probably dangerously acidic by now, forget the Cotswolds induced sink hole we’ve got to pray for the citizens of Southend that tit doesn’t get in the water supply.

What *I* do when I make a batch of chicken stock is freeze it in ice cube trays, then just pop one out into boiling water to use when I'm making a risotto or a soup or whatever. I'm absolutely SURE Jack does similar, strange she hasn't shared such a handy tip with her followers though, you'd think that would be something they might find useful

 

[kachoochoo]

Yotam... Day. Ruined.

I know, I know. it'll be ok

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I said the other day how a few years back the Tories used her budget cooking tales as evidence that people could eat just fine on the measly amount of money they had. At the time she acted all outraged that they had twisted it as such. Yet she's doing the exact same thing again here by boasting at how far she can make money stretch, and excitedly reveling in the attention and praise it's bringing her. It's potentially very damaging for those people who genuinely have very little money for food.
Selfish, selfish witch.

 

[Audaciter]

Trying to keep up! The last thread closed before I could answer how I found my way home...

I was wondering where ‘Mrs J’ had got to and googled. And followed the links here. So she left? Is that what provoked the haring off to Scotland? I was quite puzzled by that. How come nobody pick her up on travelling during a pandemic?

Anyway, the scales fell a while back. The lack of food hygiene! The insanity! The griping. I mean, I think she was right to go after Hatey Kopkins but it’s not a regular income. You can’t just find people to sue.

And I’m never putting a bleeping peach in a curry. Get out of here with that.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I said the other day how a few years back the Tories used her budget cooking tales as evidence that people could eat just fine on the measly amount of money they had. At the time she acted all outraged that they had twisted it as such. Yet she's doing the exact same thing again here by boasting at how far she can make money stretch, and excitedly reveling in the attention and praise it's bringing her. It's potentially very damaging for those people who genuinely have very little money for food.
Selfish, selfish witch.

It's the thickness I can't cope with, like she never seems to notice the blatant contradictions in the stuff she says. It was the same with the whole Annunziata Rees-Mogg POTATOES thing, one minute she's saying people can't cope on £3 a day (in coppers they find down the side of the sofa) and the next she's saying I MADE 800 MEALS FOR JUST £20. She's all over the place, she can't seem to get to grips with what her message is meant to be.

 

[Geetbo]

Um, where's the chicken thigh stock?

I am concerned for its wellbeing.

It moved to a farm in the country with the livers.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I said the other day how a few years back the Tories used her budget cooking tales as evidence that people could eat just fine on the measly amount of money they had. At the time she acted all outraged that they had twisted it as such. Yet she's doing the exact same thing again here by boasting at how far she can make money stretch, and excitedly reveling in the attention and praise it's bringing her. It's potentially very damaging for those people who genuinely have very little money for food.
Selfish, selfish witch.

Thank you for pointing this out as it’s so true, and it’s an apt reminder that she’s not just a sloppy mess or a joke, but an actually clapped demon sent from hell (Mark Lewis u can take my car for that one don’t rly care tbh x). To do all of this ridiculous carry on whilst the tweets @BeautifulTrauma shared about that poor young family now missing a mum for fear of financial insecurity are doing the rounds is seriously abhorrent. It isn’t possible to live on £20 a week, no one should be expected to, and fake newsing that you can feed an adult for 3 weeks with it is shockingly dangerous. I suppose it sells books though and that’s all that matters init - we can’t expect anything better from someone willing to chat tit about a dead child’s family tho can we

 

[Captainmouse]

Who lugs their freezer in to the garden to clean it?! Is this a thing?! I mean, I don’t have a garden so maybe I’m missing something but I manage to clean mine perfectly fine inside.

I wanted to comment on that in previous thread but it was closed! another ridiculous flight of fancy, nobody drags there freezer anywhere, let alone outside to clean it, streuth

also baking at the weekend, with what? None of that on the magical shop, also this slop needs washing up, with what? no sign of industrial cleaner on the shop

 

[Themaninblack]

It moved to a farm in the country with the livers.

And they invited the mashed potato to join them as THEY LEFT.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

OK so I've done a very quick list of the things she's used so far this week which were not on the food shop:

Tonight’s dinner
- anchioade
- squash
- chard
- pasta
- gross ‘cheese’
lunch (soup)
- red lentils
- coconut milk
breakfast
- porridge
- salted peanuts
- syrup
THAT'S JUST TODAY but I can't help but notice it's her son's meals she's making with the ingredients she bought, whilst she lords it up with all the added extras.
Over the past few days she's also used
- rice
- ribollita (duck knows what she put in that to be perfectly honest but the one ingredient she felt she should highlight was sage and onion stuffing, which is not on this week's food shop)
- Kale
- butter (for the ‘butter sausage’)
- sausage (for the ‘butter sausage’)
- peas
- mustard
- lemon juice
- mayo
- Puttanseca soup (again, duck knows what was in that but authentic ingredients are not included on her receipt)
- Cinnamon (for porridge) but also other oils, herbs, spices, which she doesn't mention and it's impossible at the moment to check for because of course she hasn't written a single recipe for anything.
Her son also ate one of last week’s frozen meals for his dinner the other night.

HOPE THAT HELPS. I'm slightly calmer now. Thankyou and duck off x

I had a bit of a Grunka going on there and I am HOOTING (and kowking, aka having the dry heave)! With this fine example of the Tattle Battlers catching Jack out AGAIN, I’m giggling away at myself thinking Tattle is Scooby Doo and friends and she’s the villain - I have images of her hnnnnnggghhhh-ing away with a *shakes fist angrily* because she’s been rumbled. Again.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Thank you for pointing this out as it’s so true, and it’s an apt reminder that she’s not just a sloppy mess or a joke, but an actually clapped demon sent from hell (Mark Lewis u can take my car for that one don’t rly care tbh x). To do all of this ridiculous carry on whilst the tweets @BeautifulTrauma shared about that poor young family now missing a mum for fear of financial insecurity are doing the rounds is seriously abhorrent. It isn’t possible to live on £20 a week, no one should be expected to, and fake newsing that you can feed an adult for 3 weeks with it is shockingly dangerous. I suppose it sells books though and that’s all that matters init - we can’t expect anything better from someone willing to chat tit about a dead child’s family tho can we

See now I want to retract my point about her being thick and not noticing the contradictions because she *must* by now and you're right, it's just a blatant attempt to sell herself as a brand* without giving a single duck about the wider consequences of the constant bullshit she spouts. Also whenever you talk about Mark Lewis I think of Martin Lewis and am all like 'but why would the money saving expert come after you' before the penny drops.

*a brand based on POVERTY of all things, ffs.

 

[Tabitha D]

Yep she is colossally missing the point with this £20 shop thing.
Even when she renamed her “Potatoes” article, the new title referenced how people in dire straits don’t necessarily want to batch cook - and yet here she is, on her £20 project, batch cooking.
And what if you can’t batch cook because you don’t have the space to store the food? In some rentals, you may not even have a freezer - just one of those little fridges with a single freezer drawer.
And what about other weekly essentials like soap, toothpaste, toilet roll, etc? Is that meant to come out of the £20 as well?
What about cooking times and methods? If you have to watch every penny, it’s hardly economical to be making two different meals and using two rings instead of one. What if you don’t have a slow-cooker, or a blender, or a microwave?
What if you don’t have easy access to a supermarket? Why isn’t Jack thinking about what people could buy from local corner shops (they can be more expensive for some things, but really good value for others e.g. spices, pulses), or markets? (And she probably hasn’t thought about this because it doesn’t apply to her - she’s incredibly self-centred to the point where she is completely incapable of seeing any other person’s position).
She just hasn’t thought this through at all.

 

[Themaninblack]

Well rinse my beans, another group frauen effort in the thread title! Congratulations to @byropaw for the words, and @bignose28 for nominating them. Working together, we can make a change ...

Recap of thread #88

1. She indulged in one of her ‘twice-yearly’ designated rest and relaxation slots and had a nap after the school run. She also wants to embrace anything hygge.
2. She produced some food - more maverick sandwiches and yet more bowls of what looked like various iterations of Shrek’s dirty bathwater.
3. She’s particularly furious at being sent a PR email that offered her Caviar vodka. I mean, how dare they, it’s not vegan.
4. She was still going on about multiple radios and one of the Mrs Js.
5. First time I’ve ever heard of a butter sausage. Surprise, surprise, she put it in a curry.
6. She wants to be explicitly clear that she eats mostly vegan. Anchoïade, Tesco’s finest mackerel, and devilled eggs, oh my!
7. She has half a million eyes (across various social media platforms) on her and just wants to cook sausages without writing an essay and feeling the ouches. What kind of sausages do you use, Jack? ANY, now get to duck.
8. She knows how to colour inside the lines.
9. Don’t be suggesting omega supplements to her so that she doesn’t have to eat the fishies. They’re. Not. In. Her. Budget.
10. She’s been trying to moderate social media (code: she hasn’t been on Twitter for a few hours).
11. Does bombproof cupboard cardboard cheese count as vegan? Don’t be saying that she should buy nutritional yeast, it’s too Expensive.
12. Jack, those chicken thighs are DEAD. Please stop resurrecting them.
13. She has made 17 ready meals from an indeterminate amount of shops.
14. Jack Monroe Food Safety 101: Don’t muck about with all that defrosting properly in the fridge lark. Just chuck it in the microwave and nuke it to kingdom come.
15. She’s in a ‘good bit’ at the moment, which means a ‘disaster is probably imminent.’ Pie Jesu.

Oh @Pocahontas! You are the mother of us all!! BUT... one small point. At No.7; She has half a million subscribers. Presuming that most of these have the normal complement of eyes that would be almost one million eyes watching her.

(Of course you and I know, dear heart, that most of these subscribers are mythical beasts, so I suppose the majority could be monocular .)

 

[Captainmouse]

HOW DO HER FOLLOWERS NOT SEEM TO NOTICE THIS!?

Their blinkers are too tight