Jack Monroe #87 Anchoïade, anchoïade, anchoïade

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What I want to know is where does Jack find these friends? Because I am in the market for friends giving out expensive electronic goods, fridges, Tracy Emin's and designer clothes. I have some amazing friends but they've certainly let the side down here and I shall be having a word!
You’ve got to put on your best traaaazers and hoof it down to the Groucho, pronto.

And if you see Jude Law, tell him to sit the duck down

I am pretty sure she said that you shouldn't cut sandwiches into triangles because the corners droop and you lose the filling, she argued at length with her son about it. Yet here we are with triple deck egg and shite butty cut into triangles. But I suppose that was THEN, and this is NOW.
Genuinely, if she told me it was raining outside I’d still go to the window to check.

What is with the pointless lies? I remember the sandwich convo she said she and SB had, was that not around about the same time as The Injury?
 
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She has no need to go to the Daily Mail side piece about how many marble surfaces she has, when she can come here for her entire sideboard inventory.

Jack as you read here, I have a new word for you to play with. See if you can spot it in my next sentence.
Your floccinaucinihilipilification of non blue tickers offends me deeply.

I thought, Jack, might like to see her old friend Annunziata's brother enunciate it with such élan. As a Hansard aficionado, she will of course know that it is now the second longest word used on the Parliamentary estate, having been superseded by 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis' in 2017.


 
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She said in that British Library video piece last week that she cooks for a living. I beg to differ, she cooks to feed herself and her son. She has chosen to do that by trying weird and quite frankly bizarre ways and using food as an experiment. But, she does not cook for a job. If that were the case all of us on here cook for a job.

I have just made chicken and veg pie from scratch (fancy) and I am on my own, but see the value in cooking nice food for me to eat. It is not my job though. It is called feeding yourself. Just because she photographs her dinner (or tea if you like) and makes empty promises to write a recipe for it "later", it doesn't make it a job.
 
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I think she must be doing this weird £20 shop thing so she can include her groceries as a business expense.

That might explain why there are no non food items included.
 
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It is called feeding yourself. Just because she photographs her dinner (or tea if you like) and makes empty promises to write a recipe for it "later", it doesn't make it a job.
Couldn't agree more, you've hit the nail on the head. When was the last time she even posted a recipe? She was complaining the other day that she couldn't do 5 in one day but she doesn't even do one a fortnight.
 
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I was reading this thread at lunchtime, sitting at my dining table where I'd just finished a Teams meeting on the work laptop. I looked around at the furniture in the dining part of the room and realised that I didn't have a SINGLE PIECE of Cotswold furniture, nary a one.

While I realise that this would prove to Jack that I'm a total povo, I rather like my inlaid wood dining table, six chairs and two carvers with hand canvas seats (£50 plus auctioneer's fee and delivery), early Victorian china cupboard (shockingly around £400 which made me gulp), wooden shelf unit (£30?) and wall display cabinet (£50?). I don't have a single sideboard but I love all the pieces that I do have which suit an older style house and which I've put together through auctions, Gumtree, Facebook, small ads, and inheritance since I moved into my one bedroom flat with a microwave, bed and my parents' old conservatory furniture (only got rid of this year after 30+ years of use). All this is my own style and likes, rather than just opening a catalogue and buying the lot. It's also bloody cheaper.

I don't think that Jack knows what her own taste is, anymore than she really knows who she is. All she knows is to throw money at something, whether it's multiple Cotswold sideboards, Apple tech, Burberry scarf and coats, fashionable trainers or whatever. There's nothing that's as cheap as chips but she loves anyway. She just tries to buy taste and a personality but it's really not working.
 
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I don't want to give her any ideas, particularly, but if she's trying to drive the traffic to her website why does she not even do the basic minimum and post a link to it? I'm sure there must be at least one risotto recipe there, she's just such a dumdum.
 
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Has she got sensory issues with food? Genuine, like. I love food I can eat from a bowl with a spoon but.. seriously. Change up the texture.
 
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She has no need to go to the Daily Mail side piece about how many marble surfaces she has, when she can come here for her entire sideboard inventory.




I thought, Jack, might like to see her old friend Annunziata's brother enunciate it with such élan. As a Hansard aficionado, she will of course know that it is now the second longest word used on the Parliamentary estate, having been superseded by 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis' in 2017.


Oh Jack my love, you are not famous enough for the DM to report on your every move. You are less relevant than a love island contestant who lasted 2 days (MIAOWWW)
 
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Thermo paper receipts will not survive 9 years 🙄 they will either be blank or turn black she could be in for a shock when she turfs them out
Hasn't she moved at least (random number between 10 and 30) times in the last decade. Why in the name of all that is holy, would she be carting about bags of unreadable receipts What's that you are saying Jack? oh, you have scanned them and saved them on a memory stick.
 
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what the hell is bombproof cupboard cheese?!
It's those drums of parmesan cheese that look like dust and smell of vomit that you find with the long life pasta sauces and pizza bases like cardboard. The stuff we ate in the 70s and 80s that made people of a certain age say that hated parmesan
 
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Isn't that how she "learnt to cook?"
By wandering aimlessly around the supermarket (no doubt to keep warm) reading labels & packets to work out what goes in to a Lasagne or whatever?
Cor blimey guv! Beef mince, tomatoes, pasta & béchemel? What the faaaaaaack is that?!🤯
Béchamel? Well, dear, when a daddy horse loves beef mince, tomatoes and pasta very much...
 
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You’ve got to put on your best traaaazers and hoof it down to the Groucho, pronto.

And if you see Jude Law, tell him to sit the duck down


Genuinely, if she told me it was raining outside I’d still go to the window to check.

What is with the pointless lies? I remember the sandwich convo she said she and SB had, was that not around about the same time as The Injury?
It's the endless and unnecessary lies that get to me too. Today's mithering nonsense about seeing the headteacher at the school gates, much the same as the silly story about what a governor at her school was supposed to have said to her parents.
Why does she live in the past though, all this shite about keeping old faded receipts (another lie) when all of this sort of research is done already - https://www.gov.uk/government/publi...In 2017/18 the amount,per cent more than 2014.

And a final thought, why keep a picture of a prime minister from 4 years ago on your wall to inspire you to write 'scathing essays', as well as books, recipes and other ephemera that never appear?
 
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Jack has pissed me off even more than usual recently, which is hard to do - gonna spoiler the next bit because it is very self indulgent poor is me

I started my new job yesterday, and was chatting on a call with my new teammate, who is lovely so this is no reflection on her. We talked about our life situations, and when I said I've been with Mr Cow for 6 years she asked why we haven't gotten married yet. My response - because we want to buy a house first. We are lucky in that we both earn decent salaries (well Mr Cow always has, I only do now in my new job, yay!) But we have been saving hard for the past 4 years and have had great luck with a lottery win (no jackpot, I'm not a millionaire frau). My point is, saving to own a home is HARD. How dare she beg for money and feel like she is entitled to own one? BOILS MY PISS. Stop spunking money on fancy stuff and save up. Our sofa is falling apart, our rug is threadbare, we have no furniture that isn't essential as we don't spend money on anything that isn't necessary as we are saving. Still don't raid the yellow sticker food in the supermarket though...

I'm in a bad mood tonight can't you tell?! Good old hormones.
 
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Ah, but if the 67 patreon subscribers who have joined in the past fortnight are there for the ThriftyShadesOfBeige Club then Jack's just topped up her monthly income by £670.
Half tempted to set up my own patreon and tag all the Tory cunts on Twitter and ask them to top up my NHS wage instead of clapping. But then again I’m not a begging bleep with a taste in expensive furniture. And even if I was I much prefer Ercol.
 
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I don't think that Jack knows what her own taste is, anymore than she really knows who she is. All she knows is to throw money at something, whether it's multiple Cotswold sideboards, Apple tech, Burberry scarf and coats, fashionable trainers or whatever. There's nothing that's as cheap as chips but she loves anyway. She just tries to buy taste and a personality but it's really not working.
Jack Monroe #88 She might as well face that she's addicted to stuff

 
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I really dislike when people describe food as specifically vegan, when it is just naturally vegan. I get 'vegan sausage' to differentiate from the more common 'pork sausage', but porridge usually/often is vegan anyway. It's like saying penne al pomodoro is vegan or a slice of watermelon is vegan. I mean, yes, you are correct, but I don't think anyone would describe a roast chicken as non-vegan. It just makes no sense to me.

I think part of the reason it's tedious is because it reinforces this stereotypes that vegan dishes are complicated, joyless or just a replacement for 'real' food. None of which are true and if you are a 90% vegan you should know this.
Not a vegan, but in total agreement. A bit like when shops started signalling about how a pineapple or raw chicken or slab of butter is GLUTEN-FREE a few years ago.
 
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