Seems appropriate. The straps look like something I'd imagine the Croydon Cat Killer uses to display his trophies.
Jack Monroe #81 It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a wife
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Seems appropriate. The straps look like something I'd imagine the Croydon Cat Killer uses to display his trophies.
There’s not many food items really that give me the proper heave (obvs that’s not including anything featured on this here thread made by Jack or it would be a hella long list)....but this is my ultimate
Ooh, I love a bit of this with some salad cream.There’s not many food items really that give me the proper heave (obvs that’s not including anything featured on this here thread made by Jack or it would be a hella long list)....but this is my ultimate
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THAT can get ta absolute duck!There’s not many food items really that give me the proper heave (obvs that’s not including anything featured on this here thread made by Jack or it would be a hella long list)....but this is my ultimate
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Yep, this was supposed to be “pale golden green”. Instead it looked like tar. Another success!She posted a photo of it ... it was underwhelmingnot much yield.
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Screenshot credit: @Marmalade Atkins
I may be a bit overcautious but I am absolutely NOT eating biscuits that a bunch of children have played dominoes with 
Isn't there some sort of pandemic going on?
Isn't there some sort of pandemic going on?
Yum, yum, yum. There's nothing I want to eat more than biscuits that have been played as a game and handled by many grubby little fingers first. Delicious.
This is great! Cheers for posting for us hillbillies without Twitter... and sorry, dear @CottageWitch, but personally happen to agree with the original tweeter - it is perhaps bit of a dick move, at that precise moment and on that exact platform, to take the time to pick a bone rather than just retweet the bloody thing and be done with it. Just an opinion though and either way, without this exchange we may never have been treated to the put down that is ‘mastertwat’. Beautiful.
Those icing decorations would break your teeth as well. Maybe that's what happened to her real teeth/why she had to photoshop someone else's in. It's a no to well-thumbed decorated Walkers shortbread fingers from me 
Those shortbread dominoes are just like her awful smoothie bowls and SB's horrendous birthday pancake tower - designed to be instagrammed, not eaten.
Is Vlad warning us of what's to come next? Another ouchy mouth, seeing as her very bad toothache miraculously healed the other week.
Hate to say it but that looks goooood! Just need it with chipsThere’s not many food items really that give me the proper heave (obvs that’s not including anything featured on this here thread made by Jack or it would be a hella long list)....but this is my ultimate
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That counts as a condiment and one of your 5 a day in Jack's world..
'Disappointing yield' is still one of my favourite sayings yet. I don't know why, something to do with grating mushrooms?Yep, this was supposed to be “pale golden green”. Instead it looked like tar. Another success!
Oh my life, this was a favourite of my nan's for a posh Sunday supper with limp salad and Heinz salad creamThere’s not many food items really that give me the proper heave (obvs that’s not including anything featured on this here thread made by Jack or it would be a hella long list)....but this is my ultimate
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I love gala pieThere’s not many food items really that give me the proper heave (obvs that’s not including anything featured on this here thread made by Jack or it would be a hella long list)....but this is my ultimate
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Nice bit of chutney on that, sorted!
@heretoreaditall2019 coined this phrase when trying to grate a mushroom a la Jack and was let down by the disappointing yield from one portobello.
I'm with you. But strangely I don't like pork pies. I know, I'm almost as weird as R Jackie.I love gala pie
Nice bit of chutney on that, sorted!
Gala pie, haslet, nice bit o’ brawn and her signature liver quiche were the standard low points of my late MIL’s Sunday teas.
She was no Fanny Cradock.
Absolutely nailed it, couldn’t agree more. And the difference between lying as she did and 100% honesty is like, a few words at most. She knew exactly what she was doing but did it anyway because she’s a habitual liar and a fraudster.
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