Jack Monroe #79 Big mistake. Big. HUGE.

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Her recipes remind me of Aubrey's in Mike Leigh's "Life is Sweet":

"The menu of the Regret Rien restaurant includes: Black Pudding and Camembert Soup, Boiled Bacon Comsommé, Saveloy on a Bed of Lychees, Liver in Lager, Pork Cyst, Clams in Ham with Pan-Fried Cocke-based Sauce, Prune Quiche, King Prawn (just one) in Jam Sauce, Duck in Chocolate Sauce, Tongues in a Rhubarb Hollandaise, Tripe Soufflé, Quails on a Bed of Spinach and Treacle, Kidney Vols-au-vent, Chilled Brains, Prune Quiche, Grilled Trotter with Eggs Over Easy"

Actually, some of Aubrey's sound more palatable.
 
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Not to be triangulated but I put a follow request in for her on Twitter a few days ago and it’s been accepted this evening.
 
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Maybe she suddenly remembered that she didn’t actually vote AT ALL in the Brexit Referendum, so she’s hardly in a position to pontificate about the result.
Yep, she should be 'literally hella embarrassed AF' at herself.
 
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Why would you crumble dry stock cube into the 'food' then later add water? Why not do it properly and add the water to the cube and stir? so that it does what it’s designed to do? I’d hate to add grittyness to all the other issues with her 'cooking'

You forgot, monitoring Tattle, constantly

Welcome

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She rinses everything, except her nails.
and the bin that’s in need of industrial jet washing
 
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groceries.
2011 you is not relevant!!!! With anything. It’s 2020, nearly 2021. I hate this implied experience, whether it be ‘fame’ or various posh partners that have taught her all these farking big words to talk all proper like

As has been said many, many () times, imagine NigellaMom responding with this level of professionalism.
 
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'plain English'.....PLAIN English?! Errr Jack is a florrid word vomiter, not a user of plain English!
 
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Not to be triangulated but I put a follow request in for her on Twitter a few days ago and it’s been accepted this evening.
I’d imagine panic has set in about her dropping follower numbers.

I actually think she’d be devastated if these threads just suddenly stopped - she loves attention, even from people who think she’s a complete dripping bellend.
 
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She doesn’t half bollock on about things no one gives two fucks about
 
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When we were really hard up I used to pop to the supermarkets for the reduced stuff, I once got a few joints of meat for about 50p each which went in the freezer, and I turned Mr sainsbury every time I got one out and we could have a lovely Sunday dinner. My oh friends was a butcher and he once have gave us 5 full beef fillets as he couldn't sell them, they went in the freezer too to be enjoyed.

I could never write a recipe, or tell people to base their costs on mine as those were flukes and it's not fair to others to try and do so
 
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She doesn’t half bollock on about things no one gives two fucks about
She really really does. Also why worry about things like Brexit. It's one of those things that's happening whether we howl at the moon or not. Just be prepared if you do have concerns.

Seriously if money is her issue then just go and get a job. Asda will probably be hiring now because their in high demand and like all supermarkets are pretty secure places to work due to being in high demand. That will seriously take away at least 90% of your financial woes as you will know that on the something of the month you will get X amount of money and you can budget accordingly. She can also keep up her twittering in the evenings.
 
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I know we've likely moved on to Jack's latest chaos and as per usual I'm behind but this.
All of this.
I have 4 kids between 13 and 7. They eat so much. They each take a sandwich and a half to school with fruit etc. They come home, eat fruit and cereal for snacks and then dinner and then supper.
There's no way they'd survive on the few calories she has SB on.
 
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love that she doesn’t correct them Sainsbury’s

also love the idea that any brand would pay to work with someone on promoting..... stock that was left to be reduced?
 
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OK, but a bag of stir-fry veg costs 1,50. So that would be 1,40 extra, or 35p extra per portion.

Or in Jack land, you would apparently buy fresh carrot, green cabbage, red cabbage, white onion and sweetcorn for 44p.

She is a lying twat, and this - yet again - goes DIRECTLY against her "you only have £3, no storecupboard" nonsense from...last month?
 
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Bin Juice is what she's going to use to soften up that turkey leg.
 
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