Jack Monroe #79 Big mistake. Big. HUGE.

[Silver Linings]

 

[Bugger13]

I’ve found the tweets where Jack was talking about living on £3 per day. It was part of the Annunziata (and Barbara) pile-on (which later gifted us the unforgettable “Potatoes” ).

Aww, Barbara is so sweet-jings! Just answering a question and old big mouth jack has to spit at her. Vile.

 

[Emmapism]

It’s a full moon on Thursday

I was just going to say this!

Entirely self inflicted.

Arrogant amateur, thinking she a) had a clear enough idea for this book when she really didn't b) that she could just bash it out in a few months because she's such a talented maverick and c) that being on Twitter non stop would in any way help her get her job done.

She's a talented liar but not much more than that.

ETA: A dog will somehow fix it, even though she's so poor she's got twelve jumpers on and is budgeting for REASONS.

 

[Dogmuck]

Almost £6 of her £10 budget dedicated to vegan products...bless

 

[Alansbigplate]

Jack Monroe’s Giant Turkey Twizzler Depressipe coming to a Twitter near you soon-ish

 

[BashmentLady]

I "made" raita the other week by chopping garlic and herbs into natural yoghurt, and I felt a bit iffy about calling it raita because it clearly wasn't. But pineapple? Aye why not. Sure throw in a few yellow label donuts and wet ham while yer at it.

 

[crystaleyesd]

She's now asking Spanish folk whether using orzo in a rice dish would be seen as sacrilegious. Wtf when has she ever given a shit about the authenticity of a dish? Literally EVERYTHING is interchangeable

 

[Silver Linings]

The squeaky bum awkwardness of this. This is what you get when you imply you can’t feed yourself properly. Don’t embarrass her in front of Kirstie, Squiggle!

I do love Jack's code for going off for some big daytime snores. She is in a huge state of denial about her life right now, and is simply in survival mode.

It’s the worst phase of her so far. I don’t care about her book but this fiddling while Rome burns is excruciating to witness.

 

[Montrachet]

Anyone else wondering what the huge, HUGE photo shoot is going to be?

Whatever it is, I hope it's inspired by one of @Alansbigplate photoshop masterpieces.

Over to you. @Alansbigplate #bekind

 

[chocolate choux]

Her posting that fancy No DSS flat has riled me to be honest. Time to edit her Twitter bio again and remove “anti-poverty campaigner”. Imagine any other activist doing that! Would be interested to see if she got any backlash at all as Twitter is generally anti-landlordism as a rule so can’t imagine this shit flying

Also her landlord mate is a knob as maximum housing benefit for 3 bedrooms in that area still leaves just over a £100 shortfall... any ‘DSS’ tenants who could afford that probably would be the working (bootstrapping) poor or possibly claiming disability benefits. Jack doesn’t give a fuck though. The only ‘poor’ person she cares about is herself

Now fuck off

 

[Silver Linings]

Someone asked what she was having it with and the answer is, of course, duh, the rainbow dhansak thingamy.

She also, while still in fear for her life and bravely uncartoon filtered told 280,000 people where her bedroom was in the house and that it’s uninsulated which is why she is so cold. Far be it for a non maverick like me to suggest, but perhaps she could move her 24/7 bobble hatted self downstairs?

 

[kachoochoo]

Swarthy...because ethnic

and sweary cos working class

 

[HarderFaster]

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An incredibly mild thing to be irritated by in the grand scheme of things, but you just know that Jackie is one of those bellends who neglect their skin and scrub it to death with a scalding flannel but they’ve never had a spot and it always looks perfect. She doesn’t deserve nice skin and hair, and it makes me mad.

Oh, and this is why your skin is apparently flaky and scaly, Jack, because you’re fucking irritating it with a rough surface nightly and destroying your acid mantle. Stop doing this and you can settle for a £2.50 Aldi’s-own moisturiser like the rest of us poor plebs and save £7.50 for, I dunno, fucking dog food.

 

[Alansbigplate]

This is better than the mona lisa alan! your photoshops always make me laugh so much imagine this popping up on your pc though *shudder*

"It looks like you're trying to access Microsoft word. Get to absolute fuck. Heres the link to my patreon"

It looks like you’re lying about writing a book, need some help?

 

[Bugger13]

Someone else has dared to call her out. Don’t worry though, the other jackolytes are as full of shit as usual.
Blows my mind how they can come up with such utter crap-the last thing she uses is plain bloody English.
I wonder how many other people see these responses & wonder if they’re mad or everyone else is. I did before I found tattle.

 

[Lanie]

I don’t get how a 50 minute walk to Lidl (probably actually 5 then given this is Jack) would negate any savings she made? Does walking cost money in Jack’s strange world or something?

Don't you know her time is precious and time is money. Those 100 mins there and back not too mention the twenty mins to walk round is quite alot time she could put to better use tweeting about everything that had happened to her in her whole life twice over.

 

[Lisbon]

Vlad has been up to his old tricks with the ads..

 

[Pocahontas]

I see that some of the food items have been in the smeg so long that they too have developed sentience, and joined a forum.

Ok, fess up, which one of you is actually the pistachio milk?

I’m the E. coli salad bags. I am currently experiencing all-pervading self hatred and an overwhelming sense of doom.

 

[Harrybosch]

tag yourself. I'm abject despair
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From one published author to another, stop talking shite.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I can't take mama-Jack seriously. If anyone is feeling sorry for her or actually believing this latest 'mourning for the other children she'll probably never have' sadfishing exercise, go watch the footage from the happy mum/happy baby podcast