Jack Monroe #79 Big mistake. Big. HUGE.

[Veronicaaa]

Oh Squiggle down under, you deserved better.

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THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK A BECHAMEL!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I like the way she's cropped the fourth pic to remove the blank page she's not actually writing on.

 

[BettyBetty]

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tweeted and deleted.

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Wishing you hadn’t made it up said anything?

Thought Kirsty Allsop was referring to where this morning’s breakfast should have gone

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I see that some of the food items have been in the smeg so long that they too have developed sentience, and joined a forum.

Ok, fess up, which one of you is actually the pistachio milk?

I’m the 4 year old mustard she brings back to life every few months x

 

[Bugger13]

Still a very new follower of Jack so I’m sure this has been covered but.......Why on earth does she write everything as if she’s Enid Blyton?
That style of writing is ok if you are in fact Enid Blyton. She writes about her daily life as though she is a character in a novel set in the 1800’s. Everything so floral and elaborately described. I imagine her imagining herself padding down the hallway at night with her slippers on. A glorious and hearty midnight feast of tinned sardines, tinned peaches, thick slices of ham and lashings of ginger beer accompanying her. Grinning mischievously at her ruddy cheeked companions - oh what bricks they all are! Not a negative nelly as far as the eye can see. Hoping that swarthy matron doesn’t scupper their well thought plans....
She’s exhausting.

This is so true. Jack thinks she’s George in the famous 5 (the doggo could be Timmy). Sadly for her, she’s way more Gwendoline Mary from Malory towers.

 

[Themaninblack]

I am the frozen chippy chips. And so is my wife.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

What a lovely coincidence that she just found a coat in her house!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

The worst part about those photos (other than the fact she used a self timer) is that they’re obviously aimed at someone, some new Mrs J in waiting she’s trying to subtly flirt with, and failing.

She’s absolutely vile.

 

[Cassandria]

I looked through £20 shop and was genuinely bewildered and not a little concerned at what she was feeding to her son and encouraging others struggling financially to eat. I'm vegan and skint and I'd never waste money buying, say, tinned beans. Why not buy dried beans, cook them yourself and spend the money you've saved on decent noodles, rather than the cheapest shit Asda can offer? Why buy that jar of sauce and the packet sauces, when you could make something with far more goodness in yourself? Why buy biscuits? Make your own. And so it goes on. Just because people are poor doesn't mean they're fucking idiots or deserve to eat shit. Cooking beans, making sauces, baking biscuits... even if you can barely cook, these things are not difficult

 

[Silver Linings]

Jack, love. Honestly. If you didn’t turn the BIG LIGHT on then the majestic fluff sausage and you could probably get some more sleep.

 

[CottageWitch]

Wow, Vlad's really hit the nail on the head with how I feel about Jack today...

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Oh Squiggle!
Gosh, are you having a jolly jape you little tinker?! <ruffles hair & throws a h'apenny>
Now off you scamper, quick sticks before the mistress catches you!

 

[SweetTransvestite]

It's not bullshit burnout again is it?
Might that just be a hitherto feeling most of us call guilt?

Welcome to the real world you entitled prick. You are in this situation AGAIN because of all the constant fannying about & procrastinating.
JFC, you're 32..start acting like it & take some responsibility for this relentless cycle of shite.

And, for the love of God..please don't get a dog you're barely able to look after yourself.

 

[LavaFlake]

This book business is actually making me quite anxious - seeing someone on a procrastination spiral is awful.

Agree. I can actually really relate to Jack's multi-track mind, inability to complete anything and procrastination because I see a lot of it in myself as I'm on adult ADHD diagnosis waiting list

Its something I've always struggled with and strict discipline is this only thing thats got my through school, uni and work. It's really fucking hard but I make it work. And it comes at a cost of completing other stuff jn my life as all my energy is on that if that makes sense. It was only when a Dr suggested ADHD last year that things clicked. But it particularly makes me clench my teeth when I see Jack behaving in a way I would*** (its on the to do list) if I let it go unchecked - and I have no access to meds or resources at present due to the long waiting list I'm on. I know we use this thread to call her out on shit but nothing would make me happier if she sorted her head out and was able to start getting shit done as I know how shitty procrastination can make you feel as a person and how hard it can be to tick off a basic to do list. But she does have access to meds and support for it (judging from her tweets) which is what is frustrating.

*** Please note this is where our similarities end. I like solid food.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Lovely new thread @Pocahontas thank you. Jack also got the nation using #POBP the cheeky little goblin.

at the end of the last thread there I noticed @Fraggle has a profile pic that I couldn’t discern whether it’s of some unruly labia or cheap wet ham and reader on zooming in...I’m still not sure

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FFS Alan!

 

[Emmapism]

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Wait wait wait

The fridge FORUM?

I wish this sad little church mouse urchin wasn't so ridiculously obsessed with this website. Even her autocarrot is Freudian slipping

 

[Froggies]

Absolute fucknugget

She’s doing a £20 weekly shop “for many reasons” yet wants to get a dog? Because they’re SO cheap to look after.

Attention seeking twat.

 

[Morrisey]

Just edited my online shopping so we can have bum and bollock sausages and instant wallpaper paste for dinner next week, all chased down with shots of pineapple raita.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

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It’s okay squiggle she’s got Ocado coming Wednesday So funny watching her squirm her way out of the £20 narrative whilst not admitting it’s just cosplay / poor fishing for donations.

Thank you for the late night receipts

 

[Oxford_Girl]

She looks like Dennis Nilsen with those fucking glasses on. She’s such a try hard.

Also, let’s remember she set up a self timer to take those photographs - for some added cringe.

And where’s the hat and jumpers she has to wear in her freezing tiny bungalow