Jack Monroe #79 Big mistake. Big. HUGE.

[Thatmoonringisdanielles]

I need to let you all know about a suspiciously Jack experience I had last week...

I've recently moved away from the UK so I am really enjoying getting to know new supermarkets, trying new stuff etc. However, my partner and I have been randomly craving fajitas made with those spice mix packets. We found something similar in a local supermarket one evening and thought we would give it a whirl.

Fraus, I think Jack definitely did her 'consultancy' for supermarkets here. The spice mix was a ground up stock cube with #lotsofblackpepper. It was exactly like something she would suggest for #letdownlarder. Got all the ingredients for fajitas, but none of the spices? Just use an old stock cube with #lotsofblackpepper

 

[Scarletfever]

Does anyone know why she makes two trips to Asda? I don't think she's mentioned it ...

 

[ChickenPorridge]

& therein lies a massive problem.

Jack, Twitter isn't your own 'thinking out loud space'.
-That's what friends, family or a diary are for. Not a publicly accessed social media platform, regardless of your settings.

Constantly drawing attention to your constant chaos isn't endearing, nor is it quirky.

Also, I believe you'll never truly love anyone or anything until you can love yourself so perhaps pop in front of your magic mirror, say that last line again & see if you believe yourself.

I've got to the point I don't believe anything is what it seems with her at all. Everything, every single sentence she mashes into the screen with her "hand sausages" is for attention, simple. She just keeps talking and hoping something, anything will come of it. If she runs out of stuff to say, she makes something up or embellishes a tale beyond recognition. Or flounces for a while to drum up some concern. Using Twitter the way she does is for nothing but attention (which often leads to MONEY!)

 

[chocolate choux]

Lovely new thread @Pocahontas thank you. Jack also got the nation using #POBP the cheeky little goblin.

at the end of the last thread there I noticed @Fraggle has a profile pic that I couldn’t discern whether it’s of some unruly labia or cheap wet ham and reader on zooming in...I’m still not sure

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I scrolled too fast and thought a hausfrau had accidentally posted a nude

 

[Themaninblack]

Does anyone know why she makes two trips to Asda? I don't think she's mentioned it ...

Tomorrow's yellow labels will be different from today's.

ETA: And I've become Active

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Jack use your 10 million print offs from tattle as draught excluders or better still use them to fuel your pizza oven maverick style.

I think she actually hates cooking from scratch. She seems to buy a lot of pre chopped veg, sliced meats etc (insert arthritic gnarly hands excuse). Whereas as others on here have pointed out that it's much more sensible to buy in bulk. I think the slop goes on the bin whilst she actually dines on posh ready meals.

 

[Dogmuck]

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How about this Maverick chef...prep your onion BEFORE you put your oil on or even before you put the pan on the hob THEN you won’t get stressed...you twat! Jesus ABC of food prep and would have saved your readers 8 billion pointless words. Someone teach this idiot how to write a simple recipe without all the blather about stress and scum and teeny tiny little orange pulses!

 

[Alansbigplate]

She won’t like the paper clip. All up in her niche.

Her niche = being an annoying little cunt

 

[Brian Butterfield]

And why’s she bought him *two* new coats when the old one apparently still fits?

So poor. Much budget.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Totally agree. And I think she may have had a go at people doing just this when the Marcus Rashford COVID free dinners controversy happened? Although not 100% on this and hard to recall when she deletes everything

In which Jack is Mr Blobby & Marcus Rashford is Will Carling:

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Hopefully the dog conversation brings up some points about the kitten situation that was entirely awful. Be brave Jackolytes, pull her on it. Ask if she's going to ignore professional advice again if the animal has any issues.

 

[Droosie123]

Here we go......

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

No Asda shop and no dinner tonight? I’m sat with my chicken livers looking for direction!

Throw them in a carrier bag with some lard, POBP and wrap them in an electric blanket, set on low. Leave for 1 hour.
In restaurant parlance, this is called 'Sous Vide'..

 

[Silver Linings]

I can’t find the original mention of not being allowed one either, @Marmalade Atkins. Although just a few weeks ago she was ‘not in a position to have one.’

 

[Alansbigplate]

Swarthy...because ethnic

 

[HarderFaster]

How far are we away from the bullshit book deadline?

As others have said, she’s bad enough begging for money, but to pretend that a ten year old boy is getting a week's worth of food there is dangerous. As we have seen, lots of her followers hang on her every flowery adjective, and might be impressionable enough to think that their own 10 year olds can get by on 200-300 calories a day.

I have boys the same kind of age. Full fat milk, real butter, cream, healthy fats like avocados, coconut milk etc etc etc form an important part of their diets. They’re not on fucking slimming World! My kids are very active, and don’t have a roll of fat between them, so it’s not like they’re being over fed. Every morning they share a platter of fruit, then will have either a bowl of porridge or scrambled/poached eggs on wholewheat toast, sometimes bacon pancakes, or crepes. I do them a huge packed lunch each, full of fruit, salad, and something warm to go with.

Dinner my kids have things like today - a huge roast. Brisket cooked down with red wine, goose fat roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, carrots and parsnips cooked in butter and oil. They had a home made sticky toffee pudding with cream for dessert, and this evening after a bath they’ve just had cheese on toast. They only drink water and don’t eat shit like ‘maize snacks’. I only buy very high welfare organic meat, and cook it to go far. I buy organic low nitrate bacon, organic free range eggs.

She should be looking for workarounds to get people eating better quality food and produce from the UK/local, rather than ordering the plebs to eat eyelid sausages and low calorie tasteless slop for a growing boy. She also neglects to mention that he’s probably hardly ever there! So she not only is lying about only spending £20 a week in the first place, for him it’s not even a full week. Show me a ten year old that isn’t permanently ravenous, please! I know they can be fussy, but they’re literally growing like weeds at this age and will eat accordingly. When I make a lasagne, properly cooked down glossy ragu, with proper creamy béchamel (sorry Jack, I know it’s maverick), I make a salad on the side, and my kids still have 2 portions each. If I pick them up from school without at least an apple or banana each they are practically howling all the way home. If I get a chance to, before I pick them up, I’ve been making hot chocolate and taking it down to school in a thermos. Banana, hot chocolate. Literally gets them by for about an hour before they’re at the satsumas and plums and getting under my feet while I do dinner.

Sorry, that’s turned into a scathing essay called “Kids Eat. A Lot”.

Please adopt me, @PoorPatrol

*pulls best manipulative urchin face*

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Honestly, I hate these bullshit pricings so much. You can't buy that little pineapple, garlic, yogurt or herbs anywhere, and they're not necessarily things which will be useful in other staple dishes.

She's an idiot.

 

[Morrisey]

I wonder if at any point during the Dhansak Ransack she thought wtf am I doing with my life. I could be making a lovely sweet and sour veggie stir fry with this veg and pineapple, but instead I've got several pans on the go boiling shredded veg into submission, killing any nutritional value it had left.

I hope she had a moment of clarity, but I doubt it.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Judging from the woeful display of self-pity this morning, I'm not surprised she only got 4½ GCSE's, clearly she's the girl that did her homework on the bus.

 

[lilamay]

And the Twitter version:

 

[Switchstreetz]

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@Cuileann Feel you with how annoying her random capitalisation of words is! They aren't nouns, Jack!

"Hella embarrassed AF" she talks how a middle aged French man would think american teens sound

Hella embarrassed AF. Same fam. Same.

Are we all actually the same person