Jack Monroe #78 All of your food is brown

[Malacandra]

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Close to a grand a month for absolutely nothing, just existing?

Topped up with SIX books worth of royalties, YouTube, aff links, website cash, Guardian think pieces, TV appearances, brand collabs (admittedly thin on the ground), freebies from brands it’s simply undeniable that she’ll be in the top 5% of the country, and with a diversified enough income to always be okay (unlike most of us who just have one employer?).

So not in the mood to hear wealthy people complain about their own financial mismanagement.

I think that she is probably now heavily reliant on the Patreon for income and ought to be putting a great deal more effort into providing content. Her books aren’t selling and she is not doing much in the media. She probably is in a bit of a funk. I hope that she has a good accountant.

 

[Toffee finger]

Very interesting @Bumbear thank you

 

[Hefflen]

All that money and she still hasn't saved up for a deposit on a flat...

 

[MancBee]

So when she explicitly stated on thread #31 that she never had and probably never would make six figures she was... lying?! Well colour me gobsmacked.

I wonder how much of her food is put through the books as business expenses? I am sure most of her other purchases are also paid for out of the business.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

All that money and she still hasn't saved up for a deposit on a flat...

She wants a big fancy house.

 

[Lanie]

She wants a big fancy house.

Dont think you get those on Amazon?

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Can I just add how great at is seeing all these “new members” pop up on the thread?!

It shows just how many people are cottoning onto her lies....you love to see it.

Edited to add - just found something to help R Jackie keep those Arctic days at bay. Hope this is used in place of the fire hazard blanket.

 

[Malacandra]

Fraus, I need to make a key lime pie but have no limes, can I use vinegar, or bottled lemon juice?

I only had lard in so am making the base with that, will it be OK?

I have a Brazilian lime, fig leaves and tea body wash I could send you - but maverick, but just the right side of exotic. You could then moisturise with the leftover lard.

 

[Ellabella]

Where are the end results of Jack's photoshoot yesterday?

Come on man, I've been on tenterhooks all night and morning!

Imagine how the poor sods on FB feel, still waiting for the non-existent reasons for using the comic filter?

 

[Walkdengirl]

Only if she was investigated by HMRC (you can be investigated at any time). If she hadn't paid the corporation tax or VAT on time then they would be wanting to know why so much money was taken out of the business when it should have been set aside for tax first. I don't know the ins and outs as I live in fear of a tax investigation, so I'm scrupulous with my tax and my expenses etc.

We had a full investigation by hmrc, it was awful. In the end it turned out they owed us money. If she's stressed now, wait until she has to undergo that

(BTW, my husbands business partner upset someone and they reported us, he had an extravagant lifestyle and they wanted to know how he funded it with what went through the books. He had savings, and lived in his house that was paid for. They produced articles from the local press where they talked about how well we were doing, and him with his rolls Royce)

 

[SleepyCatLady]

I'm gonna pause my catch-up and get sentimental for a second.

If a second lockdown does end up happening, it will be crappy. I'm sure a lot of us will battle with our mental health as much as we did during the first one, if not more because WINTER.

But this little group is amazing and you all make me squawk laugh every single day.

When you're not really seeing friends and family it's an absolute godsend and one of the reasons why I get so crotchety when people say all Tattle is, is a 'bullying hate site'.

This year I've been here more than ever and that's entirely down to all of you.

Now duck off x

Babe, SAME.

I don’t have much insight to add, but I love sitting with a brew of an evening and absolutely HOOTING at these posts.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The thing is none of us would be chatty pattying about her accounts if she wasn’t SO utterly shameless and such a compulsive liar? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying duck I’ve fucked up massively, unexpected tax bill, I’m hustling to get out of this here’s an exclusive Patreon pod / video cookalong on my £5 tier, a £20 tier sub you get a signed book, blah blah blah. No one could say diddly? It’s the constant poor fishing like oh make sure you’ve stockpiled to survive the winter

 

[Tabitha D]

I was going to comment about this the other day and then wasn't sure if I should!

So she filed a set of micro accounts for the year to 31 March 2019 v late (she was in danger of being struck off). At that point there was £15,995 of cash in the business bank account. She had a tax bill (amounts owed are shown in brackets) of £28,014. This is likely to be the corporation tax owed for that year as it's always paid in arrears.

What that means is that she had insufficient funds in her company bank account for that tax year to pay her tax bill, and will be relying on income from the 2019/20 year to pay it.

I am also a freelancer and I was always taught: 1. Do not take out more from your business bank account than the tax owed because 2. If you have no income (or reduced income the following year) you may not have enough money to pay the tax bill as you still have to pay corporation tax on income from that year as well. This is how people end up going bankrupt when their income drops dramatically in subsequent years and they have spent the money that should be put aside to pay HMRC.

So essentially she's going to be in a cycle of robbing Peter to pay Paul - hence I think the realisation that she needs to cut down.

It's technically fine to run your business account this way as long as times are always good. But clearly she's had no income of any significance since Hellmans. This is why I don't do this because I couldn't sleep at night.

The other thing of interest is the amount of the tax bill. Corporation tax is 19% and is owed on your profits after expenses. At a v rough estimate that means there was a turnover in the business year to 31 March 2019 of approx £147k. We'll ignore VAT as it's paid quarterly and pretty much goes in and out (so is overall usually neutral in a micro company).

We can also see that at the point the accounts were made up, only £16k is held as cash at the bank, therefore approx £131k has been taken out of the business account that year. We know there is an assistant on the books as there are 2 employees shown on the accounts. Let's say including tax and NI the assistant has cost £25k to the business. That leaves a v generous approximation of £106k that will have gone to Jack in that business year.

Tax will also be owed on that via a personal tax return for the dividends or PAYE (however it's been taken out - there's v little difference these days in the overall tax due). If, as she states, she is only paying herself a living wage, then the rest has been put somewhere in her personal bank accounts, as it's not showing on the company bank account.

Obviously I can only comment on what's on the tax return for that year - there is another set of accounts due for the year to March 2020 and it will be interesting to see those when they appear.

I hope this is helpful - I don't remember anyone commenting in this much detail about the accounts at the time they became available. I'm not an accountant but I also run my own business (triangulate me if you dare) and I also file micro accounts, so they're easy for me to read.

I'll now duck off as I'm BUSY today.

Very interesting! And it wasn’t even a very busy year for her.
The figure of £100,000+ is also consistent with that Mumsnet post I posted on here which estimated her annual income at about that level (based on ads, affiliate links, Patreon, royalties etc).
It’s disgusting that she’s still got the tip jar out and is still doing the poverty cosplay.
And she’s clearly turned off by followers offering to send her crappy little bits and pieces. When we know her taste is for luxury ££££ gifts from blue-tickers.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I love hearing what tips people over the edge and into Tattle.

For me it was her stupid rant about JO (THAT MAN) . I noticed a thread here and never left.

I still reel that Jack actually turned up here to complain to us about how nasty we were.

Lawyer up witches....etc.

Same babe. JM was barely on my radar before that.

I was aware of her popping up every so often to announce she was gay! Transgender! Disabled! Autistic!, Etc. But took little notice until the JO thing. It was so incredibly entitled and spiteful that I wanted to dig a bit.

 

[Captainmouse]

Regarding the vegan thing, it not just about food, it’s a way of life and includes clothing, household products, Etc she doesn’t use vegan products, wear vegan clothes or follow any vegan principles. the Burberry would not pass muster for a start.

it would be more honest to state she was trying to follow a plant based diet

 

[Bugger13]

We had a full investigation by hmrc, it was awful. In the end it turned out they owed us money. If she's stressed now, wait until she has to undergo that

(BTW, my husbands business partner upset someone and they reported us, he had an extravagant lifestyle and they wanted to know how he funded it with what went through the books. He had savings, and lived in his house that was paid for. They produced articles from the local press where they talked about how well we were doing, and him with his rolls Royce)

Oh jeez, imagine her taking the saw out and brandishing it at the taxman (while wailing, weeping, sobbing, clawing at the ground etc)?
Might be a bit awkward though, I suspect the jackolytes think high earners should suck up the fact that we all have to pay tax. The victim act might go down like a lead balloon in this scenario

 

[Steerpike88]

Sorry if they topic has moved ahead as I'm grunkaling but didn't she say she bought luxury goods so she could sell them at a later date if strapped for cash?

Now call me a maverick but if I'm lucky enough to have spare money lying around at the end of the month I put that in my savings account. Before my husband got a decent paying job that's all I could put away. We also tried to live within our means, crazy I know. Not to have a go at anyone with debt problems (I know that problem well) but I doubt lots of those people are buying coats with extra money instead of paying down debt, or going on a holiday or Xmas presents for their kids. I'd rather just save Jack, less stressful. You know do without brand name candles and sideboards. I got a nice candle from primark £1.50

 

[Mel Donte]

Sorry if they topic has moved ahead as I'm grunkaling but didn't she say she bought luxury goods so she could sell them at a later date if strapped for cash?

She did. But then she also said that she cut the labels out of her designer goods so who knows?

 

[Alansbigplate]

Oh jeez, imagine her taking the saw out and brandishing it at the taxman (while wailing, weeping, sobbing, clawing at the ground etc)?

“Just destroying my cereals”

 

[Cuileann]

“Keep in touch with your doctor” “Call your doctor”

How about instead you don’t suggest that it’s easy to don your designer gear and stomp over to your GP and then be given drugs that would put you on what you scarily called ‘a rollercoaster’. Then swan about for weeks swinging away in your hammock chilling out reading books until you feel well enough to spend all bleeping day on twitter.

Rage. I’m inarticulate but she’s such a bloody dangerous head.

Forgive me Fraus, but I'm not fully up to date (Grunka-ing along a few threads behind) but her meds posting has infuriated me.

It's kind of, I'm going to be an utter dick and then just remind people that they've got to #bekind to me because I'm mentally ill. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. Mental illness does not (and should not) grant you a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card if people are salty back to you in retaliation. Bloody hell. It's unhelpful as well because it pushes a self-victimising stereotype onto people who have mental health conditions. Just like all the fun stereotypes she reinforces over autism, too

I'm also kind of intrigued that her chemical rollercoaster is in fact sertraline. I know different people react to drugs in different way, but from the time I was on it, all I did was cry and vomit. No rollercoaster for me.

Anyway, her post has come at an opportune/relevant time as I have spent last week off work because depression came out of left field and punched me in the gut a few times. In a wholly unglamorous way I've spent a disturbing amount of time reading Tattle in the bath because everywhere else is bloody cold, and reading your posts has cheered me up so much. You are really very funny Fraus, I think more comedic geniuses here than I've ever known IRL the Brenda sausage thing and @Pocahontas's reaction to the cat mask in particular had me dead. Think you're all utterly marvellous (and in my head you are all your icons, so reading a conversation between a cartoon princess, a tin of carrots, a BOY hat, etc.)

Back to Grunkaing...

ETA: sorry also I know this is off topic by now but I've ended up down a Frances Wheetman rabbit hole and what the rackety duck is going on there!?

Seriously, how do these people come into being?