I loved my nanna trolley, was honestly sad to leave it behind
She has a weird thing about potatoes, for all her 'scathing' essay writing about them. She only ever uses tinned or instant, both probably the most unpleasant ways to actually eat potato.
Jack Monroe #76 £300 mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the poorest of us all?
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She has a weird thing about potatoes, for all her 'scathing' essay writing about them. She only ever uses tinned or instant, both probably the most unpleasant ways to actually eat potato.
Thankyou for pointing out the difference
If she has severe arthritis in her hands, how is the punch bag of use to her? The boxing fraternity all say that bag training is a contributory factor to arthritis? More tales Jackie.....
My train is late 🔺️🔺️🔺️ so I took a closer look at the latest recipe:
Moonshine Mash first appeared in Cooking On A Bootstrap, a bootleg riff on polenta made with potatoes and corn. I so named it because ‘hooch’, or moonshine, is typically made from potatoes or corn, and the idea of my own sneaky irreverent take on something usually considered quite special rather tickled me.
So we start with yet another failure to comprehend that words have meanings. Polenta is a specific foodstuff. It is not a potato. It is derived from corn, but you can't just substitute sweetcorn for it. It's also not "usually considered quite special" unless you fear forrin things. It's actually simple to make and very filling, and a little goes a long way!
Sorry to fixate on Jack's inability to understand that words mean things (see also: risotto, carbonara, souffle, tortilla). Funny that she gets so het up over eau de Nil vs duck egg blue, but will gladly call instant mash polenta, no? What happened to her autistic obsession with the truth?
blending canned corn with its brine
It's not brine. It's often sugar water
Culinary tip, Jack: we drain it because sweetcorn has a delicate flavour that we usually want to taste. Flavour is a concept worth looking into. It can make a big difference to your cooking.
I opted not to add fat to mine, simply because I only have lard in the house at the moment
You're a bleeping food writer. Why do you have every spice known to man, but no oil?
(so that WAS lard spread on your bagel?? Oh Jack, I was joking...)
First preheat your oven to 190C, and pop your sausages in a roasting tin. Place them on the middle shelf, and cook for 40 minutes.
I was gonna comment on her habit of writing out a recipe like her readers have never seen a kitchen before. Seriously, I had a Brownie Guide cookbook as a kid that had more respect for my intelligence. Then I remembered the Lockdown Larder questions. Okay Jack, you have a point.
To make these this tiny mirepoix-style small and delicate pieces, I firstly sliced the broccoli stalk, carrot and onion on a mandolin slicer, then used my handheld veg dicer to make them pleasingly dinky and even.
But you're an expert onion chopper!!! You wrote a song about it!
seasoning sparingly with salt but generously with pepper.
But in your last recipe you loved salinity in your food or some similar inanely worded nonsense? Why do you hate salt?
Pop the kettle on to boil for the gravy, and measure the granules into a mug. Pour the boiling water over and stir well until the gravy thickens, and set to one side.
A lot of words to say: "follow the instructions on the packet."
Serve piping hot, and enjoy!
SHAN'T.
Moonshine Mash first appeared in Cooking On A Bootstrap, a bootleg riff on polenta made with potatoes and corn. I so named it because ‘hooch’, or moonshine, is typically made from potatoes or corn, and the idea of my own sneaky irreverent take on something usually considered quite special rather tickled me.
So we start with yet another failure to comprehend that words have meanings. Polenta is a specific foodstuff. It is not a potato. It is derived from corn, but you can't just substitute sweetcorn for it. It's also not "usually considered quite special" unless you fear forrin things. It's actually simple to make and very filling, and a little goes a long way!
Sorry to fixate on Jack's inability to understand that words mean things (see also: risotto, carbonara, souffle, tortilla). Funny that she gets so het up over eau de Nil vs duck egg blue, but will gladly call instant mash polenta, no? What happened to her autistic obsession with the truth?
blending canned corn with its brine
It's not brine. It's often sugar water
Culinary tip, Jack: we drain it because sweetcorn has a delicate flavour that we usually want to taste. Flavour is a concept worth looking into. It can make a big difference to your cooking.I opted not to add fat to mine, simply because I only have lard in the house at the moment
You're a bleeping food writer. Why do you have every spice known to man, but no oil?
(so that WAS lard spread on your bagel?? Oh Jack, I was joking...)
First preheat your oven to 190C, and pop your sausages in a roasting tin. Place them on the middle shelf, and cook for 40 minutes.
I was gonna comment on her habit of writing out a recipe like her readers have never seen a kitchen before. Seriously, I had a Brownie Guide cookbook as a kid that had more respect for my intelligence. Then I remembered the Lockdown Larder questions. Okay Jack, you have a point.
To make these this tiny mirepoix-style small and delicate pieces, I firstly sliced the broccoli stalk, carrot and onion on a mandolin slicer, then used my handheld veg dicer to make them pleasingly dinky and even.
But you're an expert onion chopper!!! You wrote a song about it!
seasoning sparingly with salt but generously with pepper.
But in your last recipe you loved salinity in your food or some similar inanely worded nonsense? Why do you hate salt?
Pop the kettle on to boil for the gravy, and measure the granules into a mug. Pour the boiling water over and stir well until the gravy thickens, and set to one side.
A lot of words to say: "follow the instructions on the packet."
Serve piping hot, and enjoy!
SHAN'T.
Also from Northern Ireland and never had instant mash, being a culchie might make a difference 
Though a bit confused - did she say Northern Irish love instant mash? (no time to search back at the mo )
Though a bit confused - did she say Northern Irish love instant mash? (no time to search back at the mo )
reading this has made my first coffee of the day extra delicious, thank(space)youMy train is late 🔺️🔺️🔺️ so I took a closer look at the latest recipe:
Moonshine Mash first appeared in Cooking On A Bootstrap, a bootleg riff on polenta made with potatoes and corn. I so named it because ‘hooch’, or moonshine, is typically made from potatoes or corn, and the idea of my own sneaky irreverent take on something usually considered quite special rather tickled me.
So we start with yet another failure to comprehend that words have meanings. Polenta is a specific foodstuff. It is not a potato. It is derived from corn, but you can't just substitute sweetcorn for it. It's also not "usually considered quite special" unless you fear forrin things. It's actually simple to make and very filling, and a little goes a long way!
Sorry to fixate on Jack's inability to understand that words mean things (see also: risotto, carbonara, souffle, tortilla). Funny that she gets so het up over eau de Nil vs duck egg blue, but will gladly call instant mash polenta, no? What happened to her autistic obsession with the truth?
blending canned corn with its brine
It's not brine. It's often sugar water
I opted not to add fat to mine, simply because I only have lard in the house at the moment
You're a bleeping food writer. Why do you have every spice known to man, but no oil?
(so that WAS lard spread on your bagel?? Oh Jack, I was joking...)
First preheat your oven to 190C, and pop your sausages in a roasting tin. Place them on the middle shelf, and cook for 40 minutes.
I was gonna comment on her habit of writing out a recipe like her readers have never seen a kitchen before. Seriously, I had a Brownie Guide cookbook as a kid that had more respect for my intelligence. Then I remembered the Lockdown Larder questions. Okay Jack, you have a point.
To make these this tiny mirepoix-style small and delicate pieces, I firstly sliced the broccoli stalk, carrot and onion on a mandolin slicer, then used my handheld veg dicer to make them pleasingly dinky and even.
But you're an expert onion chopper!!! You wrote a song about it!
seasoning sparingly with salt but generously with pepper.
But in your last recipe you loved salinity in your food or some similar inanely worded nonsense? Why do you hate salt?
Pop the kettle on to boil for the gravy, and measure the granules into a mug. Pour the boiling water over and stir well until the gravy thickens, and set to one side.
A lot of words to say: "follow the instructions on the packet."
Serve piping hot, and enjoy!
SHAN'T.
Hahaha, what a piss poor excuse for being too fuckin lazy to sign some books.Found this in the comments under her 'ultimate lasagne' recipe.
View attachment 251681
View attachment 251682
View attachment 251683
Excuses, excuses.
OK, so because of her horrifically poor sentence construction, I read this line very differently. I thought she was saying the hooch or moonshine was "usually considered quite special". Obviously your interpretation makes a lot more sense (in Jackworld) but it's amazing how bad her writing is.
I keep a tub of instant mash to use for coating homemade nuggets as an alternative to breadcrumbs, because if I’m just making for the kids then I cba getting the food processor out and cleaning it after just to pulse up a couple of slices of bread (I am a lazy Frau) and when I’ve used packet breadcrumbs they seem to go soggy
If the new thread title doesn’t include a mention of Brenda then I am afraid I might have to duck off!
Jack Monroe #77 - "You're joking? Not another one!!" exclaimed Brenda - is quite fitting, but I really want the brilliant suggestion by @Dogmuck to win.
She lost over 100 followers yesterday - over 1,000 since she reactivated on Sunday.
Attachments
Wouldn’t you just ask somebody to do it for you? Or type a note explaining and apologising. Nobody would know and they paid for signed copies.
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I was intrigued by the Kickstarter and I've seen Jack mention what an awful experience it was several times, so I went to have a look. WOW
it's like getting stuck in a thread, and the comments. Jeez, I would definitely be locking that tit down if I were she 
Edit / afterthought - severe arthritis (lost use of both hands) is mentioned as one of the reasons the project was severely delayed. Does any recall what treatment she had to cure the problem?
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Compare the JM she presents in this recipe, to this one ie current beggy pov (I don't 'av any oil apart from lard, guv) vs experienced food writer ("use the best oil you have") (content warning for picture that looks like innards):My train is late 🔺️🔺️🔺️ so I took a closer look at the latest recipe:
Moonshine Mash first appeared in Cooking On A Bootstrap, a bootleg riff on polenta made with potatoes and corn. I so named it because ‘hooch’, or moonshine, is typically made from potatoes or corn, and the idea of my own sneaky irreverent take on something usually considered quite special rather tickled me.
So we start with yet another failure to comprehend that words have meanings. Polenta is a specific foodstuff. It is not a potato. It is derived from corn, but you can't just substitute sweetcorn for it. It's also not "usually considered quite special" unless you fear forrin things. It's actually simple to make and very filling, and a little goes a long way!
Sorry to fixate on Jack's inability to understand that words mean things (see also: risotto, carbonara, souffle, tortilla). Funny that she gets so het up over eau de Nil vs duck egg blue, but will gladly call instant mash polenta, no? What happened to her autistic obsession with the truth?
blending canned corn with its brine
It's not brine. It's often sugar water
I opted not to add fat to mine, simply because I only have lard in the house at the moment
You're a bleeping food writer. Why do you have every spice known to man, but no oil?
(so that WAS lard spread on your bagel?? Oh Jack, I was joking...)
First preheat your oven to 190C, and pop your sausages in a roasting tin. Place them on the middle shelf, and cook for 40 minutes.
I was gonna comment on her habit of writing out a recipe like her readers have never seen a kitchen before. Seriously, I had a Brownie Guide cookbook as a kid that had more respect for my intelligence. Then I remembered the Lockdown Larder questions. Okay Jack, you have a point.
To make these this tiny mirepoix-style small and delicate pieces, I firstly sliced the broccoli stalk, carrot and onion on a mandolin slicer, then used my handheld veg dicer to make them pleasingly dinky and even.
But you're an expert onion chopper!!! You wrote a song about it!
seasoning sparingly with salt but generously with pepper.
But in your last recipe you loved salinity in your food or some similar inanely worded nonsense? Why do you hate salt?
Pop the kettle on to boil for the gravy, and measure the granules into a mug. Pour the boiling water over and stir well until the gravy thickens, and set to one side.
A lot of words to say: "follow the instructions on the packet."
Serve piping hot, and enjoy!
SHAN'T.
Jack Monroe's Lockdown Larder: How to make deliciously comforting polenta mash
Here's what to do with that bag of polenta in the back of your cupboard.
metro.co.uk
Also, is polenta not actually pretty cheap? So a hell of a lot easier and probably healthier than all this faff blending sweetcorn with instant mash? Like just buy a bag of polenta and be done with it?
I have never tried instant mash. Potatoes are nutritious, versatile, tasty, and easy to cook.
Also being snide/subtlety piss-taking about the fact someone wanted her autograph. Compulsive liars don't apologise - pure defence. They are never in the wrong
#77 Are you making all of my recipes, Brenda?.
If the new thread title doesn’t include a mention of Brenda then I am afraid I might have to duck off!
Except for all those private letters of apology she is apparently always writing. Samantha Cameron got one, so did Jamie Oliver. Countless others I’m sure.
If I was having to keep writing letters of apology then I'd take a long look at my behaviour. But then I'm not JM.
Mandolin slicer and hand held dicer? I thought the point of her basic, over worded recipes was because she assumes people 1. Don’t know what the duck they’re doing in the kitchen and 2. they don’t have much “Fancy” equipment?
But then it wouldn't be *insert Tom Cruise gif*
Speaking of, I was interviewed for the radio this morning, and one of the questions was...
Can't escape
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