Jack Monroe #72 It’s not a government briefing, you don’t need to announce locking down

[Breakdance Badass]

Exactly. She's had so many looks, she could be a category on RuPaul's Drag Race (Comic Kitchen Jack being the obvious choice for the skilled makeup artist queens).

Category is........... Sequinned Slop. Wee Jackie May, Sashay Away

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I don’t think all the hair suits her personally. But I haven’t actually seen a version of her looking comfortable and herself, if that makes sense at all? She definitely doesn’t know who she is.

 

[Uberrima fides]

@traumatised sideboard I had to go back and watch the first five minutes to see if I could hear her whispering, I lasted around 30 seconds of forwarded content before it got too much.

However, it’s 2020 and Jack things dressing like a extra from the Steps video 5,6,7,8 is appropriate on national television. it just made me HOOT!

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You can tell there is filler in her upper lip by the white line above her lip.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Coming down the runway in granny pants and a sagging sports bra, swinging a turquoise leopard print bag merrily from one finger

I’m serving you nutri-bullet blended, reverse rat-tailed realness

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

She’s deffo had filler. Which there is nothing wrong with and I am a fan of nips and tucks myself. But let’s be honest poverty stricken folks generally don’t spend money on aesthetic procedures

 

[Breakdance Badass]

I’m serving you nutri-bullet blended, reverse rat-tailed realness

She’s such a narcissist that for Snatch Game she would be herself!

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I’m serving you nutri-bullet blended, reverse rat-tailed realness

Kombuchoh-no-she-better-dont!

She’s such a narcissist that for Snatch Game she would be herself!

I’m actually loving the idea of her entering drag race. And Ru asking “but where are the jokes?!”

 

[Oofadoofa]

She’s deffo had filler. Which there is nothing wrong with and I am a fan of nips and tucks myself. But let’s be honest poverty stricken folks generally don’t spend money on aesthetic procedures

Not to mention so-called body positive ones..

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Has there been many negative responses on Facebook to the comic filter?

She's not going to get any on Instagram because she's limited the comments.

Here's some. She's not getting an awful lot of engagement on these photos either. I think people just find them a bit odd

 

[Prudejude]

Her smile is weird and creepy. It's not really. Filter makes it worse.

 

[skronkywildcat]

She did look good with long hair. It looked very shiny and in great condition - it totally bemuses me that she said the reason for the buzz cut was that it was falling out in handfuls. If it was, her hair was so thick she didn’t need to worry about some of it shedding, because it certainly wasn’t visible on the tv or in her social media posts. I could see no bald patches then, and I can’t see any on the head of short hair either. It’s a bit baffling.

 

[Babysnark]

She’s deffo had filler. Which there is nothing wrong with and I am a fan of nips and tucks myself. But let’s be honest poverty stricken folks generally don’t spend money on aesthetic procedures

Yeah I agree! Nothing wrong with it but own it. Im pro-dowhateverthefuckyouwant with your own body but I dont like when "public figures" (in quotes in JM's case) have stuff done and then don't own up to it as it perpetuates poor body image in people who assume its all natural...

 

[bazzam]

She did look good with long hair. It looked very shiny and in great condition - it totally bemuses me that she said the reason for the buzz cut was that it was falling out in handfuls. If it was, her hair was so thick she didn’t need to worry about some of it shedding, because it certainly wasn’t visible on the tv or in her social media posts. I could see no bald patches then, and I can’t see any on the head of short hair either. It’s a bit baffling.

I think it was to shame/guilt her ex partner along with her less than shy 'gaunt' photos. in a look what you have done to me way.

Reminds me of someone from college who used to threaten self harm/suicide when friends or boyfriends tried to distance themselves from her.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Kombuchoh-no-she-better-dont!

She’s such a narcissist that for Snatch Game she would be herself!

 

[live laugh loathe]

I think her usage of 'hoofed' is quite apt since she permanently has her foot in her mouth.

Friends, it is time to give you my review for the final two episodes of DKL. The first thing I noticed in episode nine (putting on my fashion maven hat) is how dreadful and unflattering that denim shirt with puffball sleeves and sparkly embroidery is. At around five minutes in, when they cut to one of the guests on the screen, you can hear Jack stage-whispering 'I don't have my cards'. A consummate professional at work. To put to bed the whole question of chain restaurants, when Jack is talking about how long you could cook her dal recipe for, she herself says 'there is a chain of restaurants in London - Dishoom - that do theirs for twenty four hours'. During a question segment, Jack is asked why beef mince can have different percentages of fat. She helpfully responds 'well it just does, doesn't it?’ I give this episode five gabbled adjectives for dal out of five.

Most of episode ten is completely uneventful. I find myself getting distracted, contemplating whether Jack's heavy breathing and nasal voice quality have anything to do with her adenoids. Perhaps she should add that to her list of ailments. Matt dares to compare Jack to THAT MAN while she is shaking up a salad dressing in a jar. She is quick to tell us that many chefs have used this technique, lest we think that she has any respect for Jamie Oliver in particular. At about thirty minutes in we get a shot of one of her cards, on which she has scrawled the words 'today Matt I'm making a lentil bean + kale salad'. In my weird little maverick brain it makes me think of someone appearing on Stars in Their Eyes in a kale salad ensemble. Add that to the list of potential court outfits. As the series draws to a close, Jack's final words are 'thank you so Matt much, Matt'. The RSPCA turned up on my doorstep looking for an owl in distress. I rate it one wheelbarrow chicken out of five.

I would like to wrap up by saying that for a bunch of horrid harpies and harridans you have been very lovely and welcoming.

Now duck off.

“The RSPCA turned up on my doorstep looking for an owl in distress.” PERFECT

 

[FrumpyCat]

I need to confess something here. I’ve been holding off commenting much because I’m genuinely anxious that if I get too involved then I’ll get summonsed to court. And then my cover will be blown and you’ll all see that it’s not Regina at all, it’s me, Phoebe. DAMMIT I just gave myself away

For how terrible her clothing choice was, her hair did look so nice on DKL. Very healthy and thick, I bet she has had massive huge regret from about 50 seconds after she shaved her head.

I was thinking that. Her top was horrible, but her hair looked lovely and really suited her.

 

[xoxo]

I have a feeling it’ll be ‘sign up to my Patreon to see food pics without the stupid filter ruining everything.’

That’s why she’s reposting images taken in the last few weeks with the vomit-worthy ‘comic’ filter that makes everything look like a bad (not to mention completely unappetising) magic mushroom trip.

 

[Blurp]

If anyone likes Jack's Christmas bird garland, Lidl has these boxes of bird clips in around four different colours for £2.99 a box.

Spend £20 and you could have a very nice Christmas tree for an awful lot less than Mack the Knife-Killer.

 

[MrsOgre]

If anyone likes Jack's Christmas bird garland, Lidl has these boxes of bird clips in around four different colours for £2.99 a box.

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Spend £20 and you could have a very nice Christmas tree for an awful lot less than Mack the Knife-Killer.

Omg I got some today as well, along with the lovely led lamp and a shoulder heat pad that makes me look like ming the merciless.

 

[Malacandra]

@traumatised sideboard I had to go back and watch the first five minutes to see if I could hear her whispering, I lasted around 30 seconds of forwarded content before it got too much.

However, it’s 2020 and Jack things dressing like a extra from the Steps video 5,6,7,8 is appropriate on national television. it just made me HOOT!

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How can this be the same person? (only a few weeks separate each image). Also, her statement at 2:03 is horrifying.