Jack Monroe #61 Complete, made up, fanciful nuclear-level bollocks

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BilboSaggins

Marmalade Atkins said:
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So she’s really going to town with this whole ‘look at me, I’m a mummy, and look at what a fab relationship I have with my son. Such larks.‘

And, she’s using his real name now. No SB.

And, she pushed his ‘butt’ <adds to the American transition pile>

Starting to agree with the posters who have said she’s up to something or something is going on. Why the caring loving mum routine all of a sudden? LOOK AT MY LIST OF ALL THE THINGS WE’VE DONE TOGETHER.

I don’t do most SM, so I really don’t understand all the instamama chat stuff but between her recent love in on there, and joining Nigella site, perhaps she is trying to break into new markets. Maybe she’s tryna make it internationally, America, y’all.

Holy fuck they’re going to wish they could go back to just bitching about Trump.
 
Reactions: 23

Silver Linings

Marmalade Atkins said:
It's only Monday and she's exhausted me already.
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40 tweets in 2 hours. So she went to the docs where she lied through her teeth about staying off SM, came home and manically tweeted. The running gear! The SB stories! Where to start. Honestly I hate how much her manipulative bullshit winds me up. I wish I could quit her.
 
Reactions: 38

Begborrowsteal

My area must be shit because ive been in with the kids with split heads and broken limbs and theyve never seperately questioned any one!
 
Reactions: 9

Silver Linings


She’s just nicking clickbait stories that the DM nick off Bored Panda.

Meryl ‘groundbreaking’ gif.
 
Reactions: 32

Oofadoofa

Silver Linings said:
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She’s just nicking clickbait stories that the DM nick off Bored Panda.

Meryl ‘groundbreaking’ gif.
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But it’s soooo obviously the first bullshit thing she could cone up with off the top of her head. No fuckin way people at her kid’s school were giving her sideway glances whilst under the impression she was some sort of mysterious ‘knife collector’ (whatever the fuck that even is getting at..)

She’s a 10 year old child with an overactive imagination.
 
Reactions: 32

LavaFlake

Allegra's kitchen makes me twitch omg. It looks so cluttered... it needs a good Marie Kondo!
 
Reactions: 32

Silver Linings


Hellsite or support network? Knob.

That person who innocently said less carbs has deleted their account, so that’s 2 people she’s chased off twitter. Thing is, if she actually constantly ate butter and complex carbs like she claims she would be lethargic. And that horrendous weekend with the ‘shopped photo where people reported genuinely triggering tweets and the woman begged her to delete them and think about how she talks about weight and she did sweet fuck all. So how dare she talk about discussing EDs.
 
Reactions: 38

Shesaidwhat?

LavaFlake said:
Allegra's kitchen makes me twitch omg. It looks so cluttered... it needs a good Marie Kondo!
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I’d throw a massive “I can’t work in these conditions” tantrum making beans on toast in that kitchen, let alone a full scale meal from scratch.
 
Reactions: 18

Oofadoofa

Mokie said:
Can you imagine, she’d never be out the diary room threatening to leave
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-DAY 1 IN THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE

“Hello Jack welcome to the diary room. What seems to be he problem?”

“It’s Malcolm, he started to make a curry but doesn’t he know that I make a great curry? With peaches..”

“So sorry, Jack, we’re sure Malcolm will let you cook now..”

—————5 minutes later—————

“Hello again Jack, everything okay”

“No it’s Malcolm, again. I was showing him how to open the tin of peaches and he said I’m quite the ‘chef’. Doesn’t he know, I’m not a CHEF..”

....
 
Reactions: 23

Silver Linings

Mokie said:
Can you imagine, she’d never be out the diary room threatening to leave
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Jack - “So and so is bullying me!”

BB - “You do realise we can actually see what is happening.”

I can’t decide whether she’d be wide eyed ‘cor blimey, love a duck, give me your shrapnel, darlin’, look at all these shiny celebs, Jack’ or ‘I have smegs, cotswold company sideboards, 50 billion devices and am a bestselling author thank you very Matt much Matt, Jack.’
 
Reactions: 28
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