Jack Monroe #575 The only poverty she's interested in alleviating is her own

[Valiofthedolls]

Gak is better than tattle, to be fair

Tattle doesn’t do this to you, though.

Spoiler: Before:

Spoiler: After:

Spoiler: Before & After

So (as Jack would say)…plus ca change. Or is it mise en place? Something peripatetically French, anyway.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Well, at least one grifting sociopath was found guilty of ::checks notes:: 34 felonies today.

Never gets old. Trump Jack @Marmalade Atkins
Edit: as beautifully Bread and Jam Crafts-esquely repurposed by Marm at this link here in thread 527

Jack Monroe #527 Leg coming out of her fanny

Thread title nom by the fragrant @Marmalade Atkins referencing Orphy B’s painstaking analysis of guest’s Bae caught me sleeping thirst shot. You both win a pair of call handler’s epaulettes Guest has been vvv quiet. Apart from the aforementioned thirst shot (reposted below) on insta, she has...

tattle.life

 

[YerDa]

I guess if you’re up at 03:30 deleting tweets maybe you’re too busy for a gig like Saturday Kitchen.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

An incomplete list of high days and holy days:

The day she became guest
The day he became Le Grand Chocolat
Sue Lee Day
Dordrecht Weekend
J1g Tuesday
Hungrier and Hurtier Day
Hattenstone Hatchet Job Day

etc

Spoiler

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Her singular talent is making all food look (and sound) absolutely foul. She's like a chef from a Roald Dahl book brought to life.

Well, quite.

Sorry for the slop posting @kachoochoo here’s Pretty Jack here to make amends with some pretty flowers

Spoiler

And here’s some gold glitter spray to make your dad laugh

---

The face of a teenager who said they liked foxes once when they were six and has been receiving vulpine gifts from their grandparents ever since.
View attachment 2971171
“Yes you will smile for the picture and yes you will write a fucking thank you letter”.

That is in fact the face of a woman who’s just told JOB that her brother has to worry about his RAF friends “jacking off” to her picture in the paper.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Guest hasn't even liked the post yet.

Remember, it's Tuesday, tender butter bean
We'll get a reaction about 2am once she has reversed out of Charlie Street and pulled into Comedown Close.

 

[Captainmouse]

Saw this and….

 

[Geetbo]

I remember fondly the wounded tweets about her always being lovely on set when it came out that she had been a pain in the arse and had fucked her TV career up the arse.

 

[Geetbo]

Yeah guest you’re so lovely your son wants fuck all to do with you and you got dumped by human cabbage patch doll Allegra. Get bent.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Never stopped her before. This is what she claimed to look like on the day she became guest and what she actually looked like on the night and on tv the day after courtesy of @CrackingOwlSanctuary View attachment 2969000
View attachment 2968994
Terrible.

Edit: Just remembered another pairing, from

Spoiler: April 2022

View attachment 2969020View attachment 2969021ss @Marmalade Atkins

Well, they say TV adds 20 teeth.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

Quick question for the canal historians.
Has Guest ever once referenced her cooking/recipes before The Poverty?
Not the Allegra era but when she had the Nepo job and the luxury flat with the parking space.

I knew her in that era and just after. Cooking was never mentioned- she was a photographer/model mostly.

 

[Lazarus]

16,000 hits, fuck off.

My best mate has 100k+ Instagram followers because he's gorgeous and posts lots of photos of him on holiday in nowt but tiny swimming trunks. Never once has he mentioned to me the struggles of living in the public eye or being gently stopped in the street. He goes to work in an office like the rest of us

Me, reading this whilst catching up: I wonder if Geetbo is reading along with interest.

two minutes later:

Who’s your best mate? Purely out of academic interest

You never, EVER fail to make me laugh!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Wasn't one of the things that tipped LJ over the edge and sent her running for the hills when she came home from a hard days work and Jack had trailed half the contents of the house into the garden and set up a tent to sleep in?

Yes flare ups/sometimes I can't lift a spoon/other times I can benchpress the Queen but COME ON. If the flare ups were as bad as Jack claims and she has to be spoon-fed and have her arse wiped by her nearest and dearest, why would she ever risk one happening by sleeping in the garden for absolutely no reason. Twat.

Not Jack. The day (May 2, 2020) she wanted to piss in a she-wee yards from her multiple bathrooms while listening to Elbow in a tent in the garden was also the day she coincidentally decided “her boy” should learn myriad new skills.

Here’s the list of “life skills” she’d coincidentally decided earlier that very same day that her ten year old child urgently needed to learn, including put up her “festival” tent, light the BBQ, filter her water, make her “festival” meals with “random pantry ingredients” and chop wood for a campfire. After he’d pruned the foliage to her satisfaction, unblocked all the festival toilets and put up a shelf, but before she sent him off to get lost with a compass and a flask of tea.

ss @Silver Linings

Spoiler: Edit: P.S.

She RENTS (rattle rattle)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

View attachment 2964186
Book Jack is back

Careful there, Jack. The last time you pretended to be a reader of Ye Olde Books, you made Ye Right Olde Twat of yourself (again).

The NHS: your money or your life, that was either published in 1979, or before the NHS was founded

Jack Monroe #490 Isn't it laconic? Don't you think?

Ccj squig tweeting at clitfest re threats, and saying they intend to attend. 🍿

tattle.life

 

[Five hundred dogs]

She wanted to be famous, I suspect her preference would have been singing or modelling, but she threw everything at the wall and what unfortunately what stuck were the slops.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I'm Sure this has been mithered (I pronounce it MYTHERED, I can imagine Ena Sharples saying saying it like that in a withering tone of voice) at length already but or takes about 15-20 minutes to walk a mile. So, in the best case scenario, she was spending 3.5 hours a day walking to and from school??!! Evens Charles Dickens would have thought that was a bit OTT

Makes you wonder why Chocco and Ev didn't wonder why their kids were setting off for school at 5am. Maybe they were too busy portioning out the cold beans to notice.

 

[LizzieE.]

I knew a group of people back in the early 90s who were very fond of the "stuff". 3 of the men are now dead. All in their early 50s, all from heart attacks and iddly enough all within about 6 months of each other.
2 women developed alcohol problems to go with the coke as well as the chaos and I'll health. Homelessness all the rest.
They were cocks of the walk in the day but by the time they got past 40 the damage was real. It was also evidenced by their sad lives, full of terrible relationships and acid washed jeans.
It's horrible shit. It's cut with all sorts of shite and may or may not have been up the bum of some u fortunate person press ganged into smuggling it in.
It's not big and it's not clever

 

[bracrumbs]

Many moons ago, I was on a mum-related website (which was not Site Which Should Not Be Named - this one was better but has long since died) and thus, it was populated with women.

Every now and again, there would be a thread along the lines of “what’s your worst trait?” And without fail, the snidest, meanest mean girls on there would write “I just give too much of myself, I wear my heart on my sleeve and people take advantage of that but I’d rather be like that than coldhearted to the wrong person”

You could set your watch by it. Members who had bullied off others, regularly slagged off the kind of ‘mummies’ they didn’t approve of, made constant not-as-clever-as-they-thought digs etc were suddenly angels on this earth who were constantly blindsided by their own kindness being thrown back at them. “I give so much and I never get anything back”

Anyway, “was it my friendliness?” Jack has just reminded me of that.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I knew I'd seen that haircut somewhere else recently.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Where I grew up , if you lived more than 2 miles from school you'd get a free bus pass. Perhaps Chocco wanted her to roll through ditches and swing through the trees on the way - as practice for her intended military career?!

Yeah she actually didn’t live far enough away to get a pass. I regret to inform you that she was, in fact, lying. Big Chocco’s address is all over the internet, and we know she went to Westcliffe Grammar for Girls with Lilac Mercedes (no vans or land rovers allowed)