Jack Monroe #574 She's definitely lying about something

[Valiofthedolls]

A teaspoon is 5 grams. It’s just such a stupid, stupid thing to think, let alone type and share with thousands of people.

Reader, “the two guys working the bar” in the spice shop at Chelsea Market (aka her “friends”)

were not happy to chat about it.

Not as excited and bouncy as they were when you finally fucked off and let them get on with their jobs, you self-infantilizing nitwit.

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

THAT MAN now on this morning doing a phone in for any food issues. He’s actually coming across well - nice, humble and knowledgeable.

Can you IMAGINE guest honking her way through a phone in like this.

A lady has just phoned in as her 7 year old is fussy and not eating much variety.

guest: “when my SB was 7 I had the fridge unplugged and he wanted more bread and jam and couldn’t have it. Check your privilege”

ETA he’s now giving tips on celebrating the uniqueness of the different herbs…

I thought they were all interchangeable

 

[Valiofthedolls]

You might wanna get guest's name outa your mouth, bruv fam. xoxo

You ain’t special.

Spoiler

.

“yo.”

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

How does someone who can’t afford to switch her lights on, have her radiators on enough to dry anything?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Potemkin Villages is my favourite tweet EVER because she thinks is makes her sound Klever but instead makes her sound unhinged/incapable/a bit thick.

 

[HotesTilaire]

What did you do this weekend, Jack?
I’ve been putting salt and orange rind in milk bottles and drawing labels for it.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Are you telling me you don't look like Sophia. I am so disappointed

I take a dreadful picture. I always did even before my looks disappeared like sauce off a rinsed hoop when I hit middle age. People would say "be in this photo" and I would go "no, I am whatever the opposite of photogenic is" and they would say "shut up don't be stupid " and then they would take the photo and go "huh. you look normal in front of me but this seems to be a photo of a soggy tomato. How" and I would say "see I told you so" but the upshot is, about 2 nice photos of me exist and those were taken 15+ years ago

Anyway so I feel empathy for those who tend to not look their best in pics. I lose empathy when someone filters a pic into blurry oblivion and then insists it's the magical mystery witchcraft of makeup for attention
---

disappeared like sauce off a rinsed hoop

A worthy thread title, surely!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Fuckin' Milkybar pasta. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the level of delusion is off the scale

It’s fascinating that as soon as she starts threatening her latest lovebombing target with disgusting sex pasta slops they suddenly “remember” that they are SEVERELY ALLERGIC TO don’t like one of the key ingredients

Leggy

poor LJC wasn’t quite as prepared, but quickly recovered to only make that mistake once.

Come-To-Bed Parmigiana, 74p [VG/V/DF/GF*]

11 months ago today, I turned up to work late, sleepless, an incoherent babbling wreck chewed up by an 18 month landmark court trial and with bright copper dye fading from my wiry, tousled mania of…

oursouthend.wordpress.com

And then there’s Ol Hazza, and the time that rather than be subjected to this

Spoiler

HE LEFT

 

[StatusWoe]

Sounds about right, based on my experience as a bisexual man

Why are all the gay guys having so much fun? It's not fair. Plz give us bisexual women the coordinates to your dormant volcano lair.

(This has the same energy as Mumsnet user asking for a Tattle code.)

 

[Captainmouse]

Jack was probably mentioned earlier today’s when Roadside Mum was saying her “friend” was targeted online. Anyway, if you’re interested in her as a side character, she’s currently being exposed as a bit of a fraudy not-a-traveller cosplaying liar on her own thread. Not really poor, quite well off, grew up in a house etc.

The other infamous essex grifter has battened down her salty hatches and deleted her FB glad they are all worried, they deserve nothing less

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Grunking disclaimer

around 21 or 22 she pissed off everyone involved in the Labour antisemitism row, this concluded with her calling J Corbz “comrade” also this may be where we remembermithered (pronounced Re-membermithered) or it happened, that she claimed Mr Corbin has sent her an email coz they were such friends (it was an email to all members but had her name on)

And she publicly posted her simpering reply to 'Corbyn', to prove to Twitter they were friends acshully, when in fact she'd merely replied to a mass automated message thinking he'd personally written to her. What a melt .

 

[YerDa]

A Year In… was such a misstep. While it’s not much mithered over it’s a really crucial part of the story. Her whole USP was cheap family friendly food coming from a poor plucky pixie with an adorable tow headed toddler. A Year In didn’t capitalise on that, it was trying to be a more cheffy/lifestyle book, which was neither appealing to her original audience, or the kind of people who like cheffy books because it was a very poor version of that genre. She utterly failed to build on the brand she’d originally created. If she’d really marketed her USP from the start with proper social media, including a YouTube channel she’d have set herself up nicely. Instead she got carried away with fame and trying (pretending) to be a real chef.

I think Leggy was trying to help her rebrand. Guest was never really committed to the “feeding the povs” narrative, it was just a way to get famous. So this I think was an attempt to shift to a more mainstream, lucrative, public-eye career built on the fact she already had a cookbook. The recipes are better in that book because she had Leggy’s input. Needed more than that though: talent, charisma, commitment and a work ethic. Oh dear.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Unless she does something really massive in the future, I just don’t see any outlet taking the chance. Shatt had a chance and he chose not to, I think that’s all we’re getting to be brutally honest.

I think this slow grind of cancellation is it. Nobody (apart from Bluebird, and even they saw sense eventually), works with her more than once.

People in related industries/fields all talk to each other, so she's not getting any TV work after the debacle with DKL.

She's not The Guardian's darling any more.

She doesn't have a book to promote so she's not on the festival circuit.

The PR for the Curry's airfryer thing was a disaster, so she won't be getting any work on anything similar.

The Trussell Trust seem to have finally realised that she's utterly toxic.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

If that’s what she’s hinting at, whichever side of the Nuby/FareShare partnership didn’t bring her into it (without doing any due diligence whatsoever) is going to be fucking thrilled with the dickheads from their “partner company” that did.

Obvs it’s super subjective but that article read to me as if the brand brought in two influencers of their choosing for the campaign, and neither of the spots went to Jack. As hard as it is to believe, Jack must be getting involved in the charitable side obvs this is complete speculation but as others have pointed out, she must know her reputation needs cleaning up, this is a level of desperation we’ve not seen in the 5 odd years we’ve been here.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Why wouldn't they mention guest in this announcement, though, if they're already naming the other "influencers"? I call bullshit on this.

Usually when Jack isn't mentioned in any press releases, she says she is working as a 'consultant'. Or maybe she's asked them to leave her name out, so they aren't harassed by evil trolls.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Failure to wear Rather Butch Shirts sufficiently errr…butchly? View attachment 2945046

Spoiler: Rather Butch Shirts featu Rather Butch Jack

View attachment 2945052View attachment 2945060oh no, how did Martin Clunes get in here. Sorry! #embarrassing (that one’s especially for you @Sideboard Bob)View attachment 2945053View attachment 2945078View attachment 2945054View attachment 2945055View attachment 2945056View attachment 2945064View attachment 2945057View attachment 2945068

Rather Butch Screenshot @lilykestrel

Another one of Jack's Based on a true story.

For a start, it isn't a thrift store, it is a business run by a couple of hipsters selling bulk-purchased old t-shirts (aka rare vintage finds) for £20 each.

They do sell clothes by the kilo, for the distinctly non-thrifty £20 a kilo. But Jack's plaid shirts are sold individually.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Imagine using the nickname your ex-fiancee called you as your holiday hashtag #tragic #c’esttragique #Antigone&ElectralevelGreektragedy

 

[Beggy Slopgibbon]

Tell you what ninnes, I've had a shocker of a week (v bad reaction to tramadol that's stopped me eating I feel so bad) but these threads and the continous JM shitshow has kept me going! She hasn't changed at all has she. No self awareness, no self reflection. Sorry to keep banging on about the 12 steps, but there's no way she's done a step 4 self inventory

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She lied about working with Fingers Kerridge and Marcus on their programme so I don't see why this would be any different. I hope Fareshare tell her fuck off.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jaaaaa-aaaaack! Question!

Is having exhausted mania on the inside

Better, worse or the same as perpetual catatonic reprise-ing?

And do either of them have anything to do with Shakin’ Stevens here?

ss @Marmalade Atkins