Jack Monroe #574 She's definitely lying about something

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I thought she ripped radiators off the wall during childbirth?
While FORENSICALLY EYEBALLING her own c-section after a SILENT 30+ HOUR labour. Fucking attention seeing egregious grifting fantasist

Silent 30 PLUS hour labours, the all-hours flail-and-flurry and desperate attention-seeking utter gibberish recipes aside, don’t think Tom’s ever going to be interested, Jackmate.

Twitter ss @lilamay
 
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Did she bollocks be silent for 30 hrs. Even not in labour that’s ridiculous.
 
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"Apologies to Viginia Wolfe for not managing an entire 'room of my own in which to write' "

What the hecking heck is she going on about? Not only does she have a "room of her own in which to write" she's got a whole massive house to herself "in which to write"
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Did she bollocks be silent for 30 hrs. Even not in labour that’s ridiculous.
She couldn't keep her gob shut for 30 seconds, never mind 30 hours.
 
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Ive decided not to go to anything at the Edinburgh book festival for the same reason
 
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344 seconds later, having administered all her own post-operative care, to the claps and cheers of all the doctors and nurses and with weeping consultants holding her aloft as they bear her from the humble hospital that is at this time devoid of iPads as indeed it should be, Jack softly, gently peripatetically (yet at the same time humbly cacophonously, ephemerally) bravely clambers to the highest rock in all of Southend on sea…
 
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Ive decided not to go to anything at the Edinburgh book festival for the same reason
Hay Festival has suspended its Baillie Gifford sponsorship following industry pressure (I’ve just read). I was there today and they’d removed everything except one sign at the entrance. The BG logo is still plastered all over any printed material though.
 
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It’s from when she was living in a LITERAL TINY NOOK HOVEL right after Leggy LEFTed her back to Southend and where she selflessly gave her son the only bedroom here’s where she was at the time…


Or as the Times whimsically chose to call it when they visited her there, a two bedroom flat
 
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Heading away from Celery with a Sainsbo haul, no guestcunts were harmed in the yellow sticker moment.
 
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I'm surprised she didn't claim to have performed the C-section on herself while simultaneously dictating one of her Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells letters to the midwife and knitting a babygro with her feet. Dickhead.
 
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Please forgive me grand piano guest and fucking doofus 2015 Kool-Aid Times journalist, for I have done thee a Great Wrong.


See also: completed it mate

@Incywincy for fashion model Jack and @witchofwestbyfleet for recovering the poetry
Mortifying.
 
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Fire service is racist, misogynistic and homophobic was the news headline earlier, and STILL no Jack?
 
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'Bits of furniture she's been given' since the heckin big yard sale is simultaneously 3 Luton vans and 7 estate cars full of stuff?
 
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Hold up. I thought she wore that Belle dress cos her son wanted her to be a princess (or some such lie)?

 
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