Jack Monroe #573 Close your Patreon, you thieving liar

[SouthendRealEstate]

Day 3 of Hellsite silence. Do we think she's... At work? Asleep? Away wild camping? Hiding away in some writer's sanctuary testing Greek recipes? Lost her password? Packing?

At conference?

 

[Captainmouse]

Why is she like this?

Because, reasons

 

[allybongo]

who’s buying a second hand spoon???

Jack. SPOONS (plural)

 

[Elastoblast]

I do that for two books and two books only. Because I got tired of questions and awkward double takes from visitors who saw Ian Kershaw's enormous, two volume biography of Adolf Hitler screaming his name in capital letters across my living room.

That seems perfectly reasonable!
---

who's fancy ride do we think that was?

Big Linda's?

 

[Five hundred dogs]

So she was bullied for her old first name at school? According to her “colleagues” at the ONS, her old name was about the 50th most popular girls’ name in the UK at around the time she was born. I find it highly unlikely she was the only pupil with this name at an all-girls grammar with over 1,000 students on the roll.

And going back to her first Vegas trip in the summer of 2011, did she take her son with her? If so, why on earth would you take a child less than two years old to Sin City in the heat of summer? If not, it appears that she had no trouble arranging child care. Was she still on maternity leave at the time, or signed off with stress, bearing in mind this was a mere two months before she handed in her resignation?

I think this might be tricky wording again, she doesn’t specify if it was her first or second name she was bullied for. While her old first name was nothing that would have stood out in her generation, her old second name is slightly unusual.

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

She has a tattoo that pays homage to her first name though (honeycombs & bees which is what her first name means in Greek) so wfk I don’t care either way she’s a twat whatever she calls herself

 

[Carefree]

Real Cissie and Ada mixed with 'pick me!' energy.

 

[Captainmouse]

no you didn’t have itchy skin from smartprice washing powder.

Of course she didn't.

When has she ever washed anything?

Including herself

 

[I'm not actually here]

She's a notorious fraud. And what reach? This is from a locked account.

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Got *to* bed. Ftfy guest

 

[I'm not actually here]

I think just from all we know about her attitude to caring for animals, without all the self-harm stuff she has shared publicly too, SB has been at risk.

 

[I'm not actually here]

She progressed to having quite an extended twitter convo with her. Janey has tweeted what to her are acceptable extracts. Apols tech eejit so can’t post. But both she and Jack are most keen to make out they are prey to the maddos out there. Obvs very much not like them of course.

I shall go investigate... Laid up with cold and chest infection so need sth to occupy me!!

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Have we seen this? I thought she came across really well after the usual ARE WE ON CAN YOU HEAR ME, couldn't avoid talking about herself in the end and how quirky she is. Giving some self awareness vibes too

 

[Grifty Mc]

Giantess she is sitting at home sniffing the sue lee money. SB will be fine because choco is loaded,

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I'm listening to "Yellowface" and it's a really great story, concerning plagiarism, the power of social media and the double edged sword of success.

It's making me think of Jacki in some ways

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I've never heard of the Octonauts - I'll look for this. Bing the Bunny, Little Drum, and Bob the Builder can only take you so far (and I hate the new Bob and Brum episodes. I liked the original ones much better

The octonauts was the only kids tv I could stomach. Brum, Bob, Roary the Racing Car and Pat the incompetent postman can all get in the bin

 

[Shawads]

Thanks to @witchofwestbyfleet finding guest’s poetry opus magnus Whistlestop Tour in the archives, we can deduce that tattoo is almost certainly in guest’s very own handwriting
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A Whistlestop Tour Of F**king Up Everything

I found a notebook a while ago – still unpacking boxes in the little flat I moved into in July – with a few scribbled songs and poems in that I wrote when I was unemployed and life was,…

web.archive.org

Spoiler

View attachment 2938632

A box of beans???
And rice??

 

[TheCat'sMother]

Pfft I always freeze my pasta water while hot. Saves cooking time in future. #maverick

Ahh yes, it's similar to the good old "Cold Oil to Cook With" Paradox

 

[griftalo]

View attachment 2936957

THAT MAN has posted on Instagram some ways to use up salad leaves at the back of the fridge.

No rotten pesto thank fuck but some of the cutlery is giving me real guest vibes. He’s all in her grubby rusty cutlery niche.

View attachment 2936958
View attachment 2936959

Whattheyuckityfuck is that? G R I M

 

[I'm not actually here]

Shame. Just checked but Martha didn't follow guest - on that account anyway. I'm sure she had tons of socks but I haven't found those. That would have been entertaining if she had tweeted guest!!

 

[Ms Biscuit]

I realise that I'm from a very lucky generation and I despair at the housing policies from all shades of government.
It genuinely makes me so sad and I hope I didn't sound flippant with my comment about buying a property.

Not at all, tenderstem, at least, not to me. And likewise, I don't begrudge ownership to anyone who achieved it by means other than bone-deep laziness and grift ( in other words, guest)!