Jack Monroe #573 Close your Patreon, you thieving liar

[Florid Language]

She will own a place one day. It might not be for a few years yet, and maybe it'll be a property inherited or gifted to her by her well-off parents, but oh God, the absolute bollocks she will spout about how hard it was for her to realize this forever home for her and her "SB" (who will absolutely not be living with her at that point) and how much she had to suffer just to finally have a place to call her own, blah blah blah. How I hope I (a Gen Xer who will probably never own my own place despite working hard for decades and always taking care of myself) will no longer care or check in on her by then, no matter how much I love the canal.

I realise that I'm from a very lucky generation and I despair at the housing policies from all shades of government.
It genuinely makes me so sad and I hope I didn't sound flippant with my comment about buying a property.

 

[freya]

Haven’t grunked so sorry if it’s misplaced, but she’s a terrible public speaker. She’s so honky.

 

[Beggy Slopgibbon]

Also, since she's unlocked we've heard nothing about AA recovery have we? Unless they've chucked her out for being on the snow and ergo not really working the programme even if she's not drinking. She needs to go to Narcotics Anonymous as well.

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

you’re kidding, right?!View attachment 2936968

Spoiler: Grim

View attachment 2936974

Spoons HERE! Keep reading a few pages and into the next thread where a poster unlurks to provide evidence that guest’s LYING (again), this time about the £££

Jack Monroe #239 Error when subscribing. Please try again.

She wants to be to Wilko what Kerry Katona was to Iceland. Someone will have the receipt, but not so long ago she was disagreeing with how they treated their staff.(apologies if the cabal has moved on, grunking) 100% agree. I still think there is a sneaky sponsor going on there, it's the one...

tattle.life

Fraus were on that day, not least the absolutely beautiful artwork at top by @Pocahontas

ETA: and #BeKind, y’all. Poor Pov Jack didn’t sell her light bulbs she sold her LANDLORD’S light fittings
View attachment 2936983

Stand By Me.

Bear with me please, for what I am about to do. Some of my longtime readers may know that when I was a single mum, living on delayed, suspended and cancelled benefits in this hellscape of a smashed…

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Noooooooooo not Singing Jack we were talking about spoons!!

Couldn’t stomach the whole video but was there ever any mithering over her drunk conversation with Louis Walsh at the Pride of Britain awards?

He used his CBB appearance to call out arseholes that he’s encountered over the years but no mention of guest

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Carly Burd I think, not Jack.

QLMAN to say I’m not defending Jack here but the description doesn’t fit her as she doesn’t have a CIC whereas Carly does

 

[Nonah]

View attachment 2939424
Guest doesn't even get a full hashtag, lol.

This is so weird. Who’s the little guy?

 

[FrumpyCat]

Eurovision song contest. Firefighter sung by Georgiea, and the lyrics sound like they have been written by Jack,

 

[I'm not actually here]

Lol she’s out of her chump on something in this video surrounded by yet more of her hoarded tat. Ramble ramble blue blue blue HONK! living in a hospital ramble ramble he’s a horse cat ramble HONK! ramble ramble I’d sell my Nan ramble HONK! ramble ramble kicked out of The Ivy for singing Common People with the pianist I’d ‘struck up a rapport with’ ramble ramble HONK!

Thank fuck I don't have to watch it.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

re working class William Sitwell, what would that make the rest of us? Lower lower under working class? Silly posh twit. https://www.dreweatts.com/news-videos/auction-results-weston-hall-and-the-sitwells-a-family-legacy/

I would, though, love to hear his verdict on a fennel, water and chickpea stew that serves 8 burly adults OR one smol goblin

Peasantry, obvs.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Sing. At least i would get a laugh from that.

I’d rather remove my ears with a rusty second hand spoon.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Yikes. Tweets go right back to 2015.

View attachment 2939203

Do they still follow each other?

Yup too short

 

[Carefree]

FFS ALL the vintage wedding dresses? How many fucking were there

Wonder if they were in as bad of a nick as ALL the vintage spoons

Instant boke if so. They'll have been as well taken care of as her hands.

 

[hoopdedoo]

No guest featu in this year’s Hay Festival listings.

Too bad, since she is currently getting all this publicity.......

 

[tinklypom]

Thanks Lucky Escape. I just thought I’d throw it out there. Stranger things have happened.
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I think it unlikely, iirc those proprties were in the 850k range which is over 4000 pcm in repayments.

I had no idea they were worth that much!

 

[Grifty Mc]

I bet Jack takes fishy snacks to the cinema.

She will threaten a libel on you for this heinous allegation!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Jack says she’s trans. And there are plenty of lesbians I know who use a more male/less femme version of their name, or change their name. People use their “real” name to fuck with them, hence it doesn’t sit well with me.

It’s not the same as calling Boris Johnson ”Alex”.

If we have arbitrary rules about when it’s ok to do it to one person but not another, that’s where it creeps in, I believe.

 

[Grifty Mc]

I’m pretty sure she worded it that way in order to stress her thriftiness, lest anyone think she’s been buying bottles of hydration drinks or simply buying empty bottles. Actually I wouldn’t be surprised if she had been buying those glass bottles with the reusable stoppers (I don’t know what they’re actually called, I always think of them as Grolsch top). Like mason jars and those dinky little glass milk bottles (which I know she does have) they’re the kind of twee shite she’d have for no particular reason other than the aesthetics.

I bet she bought bottles of that Prime thing when they were being flogged for £20

 

[Elastoblast]

Jack. SPOONS (plural)

ummmm, EXCUSE YOU. That is Wedding Night! By Jack Monroe (all rights reserved)

@Elsie Ben Felyn do not click. Everyone else

Spoiler: Here’s the original

View attachment 2937627View attachment 2937626and side by side
View attachment 2937628

Wedding Night, by Jack Monroe. Yours for £48 pounds sterling, 2012 prices. (Aka yours for the price of about a month’s food at feed you and your family for £10 a week budget prices). As long as you’re ok with a black and white version, that is. View attachment 2937648
For more photography, everyone but Driver Elsie-Bob Parkhurst-Ben-Felyn (short for Olive) click here

Posts about Photographs on A GIRL CALLED JACK

Posts about Photographs written by Jack Monroe (OurSouthend)

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Original artwork by Spoons Monroe. She might decide to make a comeback as an artist at some point. I imagine works heavily influenced by early Emin pieces and some sculptural pieces combining "found" cutlery and chairs. Many, many chairs. Coming soon to a local art gallery

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

It's good that she's kept herself busy labelling those bottles, as how else could we tell the difference between 'Steampunk Cream Soda' and the bottles of dilute bleach and tumble dryer water that she also keeps hanging around.

All liquids are interchangeable, tenderstem.

And all of Jack's patented liquids take the enamel off your teeth and can double as lighter fluid.
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Don’t watch it. It’s dreadful. No one comes out of this looking ok. If fish slop was a tv show it would be baby reindeer.

I watched two and a bit hellish episodes of it because I was trapped under a sleeping toddler and couldn't reach the controls. (He had worked his ticket for 6 hours and I was shattered - no way was I going to risk waking the li'l monkey up!).

It was grim and tedious* . . . in the end I cracked and stretched out for the handset. It woke him up but I didn't care any more. I have never been so relieved to turn on Bing the bunny.

*One of her "pet" names for him was "nipple" . . . I don't care if it was true or not, it was just grim.

Edit for spelling. Again.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

She’s locked again

Did someone reply with the colliedog meme?