Jack Monroe #573 Close your Patreon, you thieving liar

[Geetbo]

Get some new material you sad cow.

Can we not post things like this too early in future Thankyou x

 

[GazpachoPolice]

Ooooh the squig who’s had their eyes opened to guest and the VBI today is asking her for a refund!!!

 

[Geetbo]

I can just imagine SB texting his dad “she’s showing me random photos of the sky and feeding me chickpeas, can you fetch me.”

 

[Flivver]

On the porch…!?

What - like in the bloody Waltons? Aged Olive in her rocking chair telling tales of long ago. With a wide eyed Jack sitting cross legged at her feet sipping a mint julep as the crickets chirped in the bush.

Fuck the fuck off. It wasn’t 1920s mid west USA you fantasist slopbotherer.

 

[Hollaaa]

Ooooh the squig who’s had their eyes opened to guest and the VBI today is asking her for a refund!!!

 

[Seaford Haggington]

She was completely annihilated on the hellsite today from behind a locked account. She's not just a byword for grift, but a fully paid up member of the Grifter Hall of Fame. When Depher was exposed her name was linked to it again and again and again. She's up there with Captain Tom's daughter. That it happened on a rare occasion that she left the house to Do Some Good was just perfect. She is finished. Finished!

 

[Darvos]

On the porch…!?

What - like in the bloody Waltons? Aged Olive in her rocking chair telling tales of long ago. With a wide eyed Jack sitting cross legged at her feet sipping a mint julep as the crickets chirped in the bush. View attachment 2930259 Fuck the fuck off. It wasn’t 1920s mid west USA you fantasist slopbotherer.

Cannot compute porch. A UK porch is a cramped, damp vestibule of stinky footwear, next door’s asos delivery and a mealy-bugged spider plant, with a pile of dubious charity collection bags shrivelling under the letterbox. It is not somewhere one would chat with a WRAF. What is this shit? Is it canned?

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

"What have I started?".... Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off

innit.
Who put 10p in Aurora Boreallofus?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack’s childhood = 1990s
“Elderly” = over 70?
I think the implication is that with Olive the WRAF we’re back to WWII Jack again. What age was Next Door Ev’s god-fearin’ lil minimel when Good Time Girl Olive Drab (ret) was regaling her with stories of randy Yanks and her saucy exploits just to get her hands on some nylons?

So now we’ve got randy old RAF Olive regaling Jack with her tales of knee tremblers in shop doorways with good corn fed Kansas GIs, old Gladys the Society Magazine fan who instilled in young Jack a love for the Queen Mother, Tara P-T and along with then-nine year old Jack was ABSOLUTELY INCONSOLABLE at the death of Diana, and Dusty Old Saucy Aunt Helen with her pile of More magazine position of the fortnights down the back of the cistern.

Spoiler: Oh Jack, scarlet for you hun.

It’s like the world’s shittest Camberwick Green/Trumpton reboot from the feverish mind of an attention seeking moron whose wildest fantasies all entail imaginary childhood hangings-out with saucy and wacky pensioners.

Oh look! It’s that old millionaire slumlord with his cheroots, boiler suit and one pair of shoes in this week’s episode!

Get to fuck you (imaginary) old lady porch-bothering fantasist

 

[EllaEm87]

So in the hospital we make something called St Marks Solution to help with hydration and absorption of electrolytes. Bicarbonate, salt and glucose. Her recipe, if this is what she’s trying to replicate, is (of course) incorrect.

I have done a brief google of NHS rehydration recipe and looked at the NHS dehydration page. All roads seem to lead back to St Marks. I can’t find her recipe anywhere. Obviously, because she’s a liar.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Sokay, Jack. Your “boy” already has a home. With his dad. In another town miles away from where you live. The town where he goes to school. Any of this ringing a bell?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

...

 

[Geetbo]

My dad too used to cycle to work as we couldn't afford a car. In rely frozen winter my mam would bring his bike into the living room and put it in front of the coal fire so the seat was warmed. True love

This reminds me of my grandma fetching me from school, and before leaving to get me she would pour out the orange squash ready to immediately add water to the minute we got through the door. God love her.

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

What about this for the holy trinity +1 of arch-grifters?

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

So many people on X are mentioning our plucky scammer off the back of the Depher situation. Many, many individuals tagging her into James Anderson threads and not the usual hard-core suspects. Amazing.
Now, let’s hope something actually bloody happens at last.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

This recipe could help a family of ten starve to death or provide a single meal for someone with disordered eating.

Get some new material you sad cow.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

As if Jack has anything as profesh as a refund form. Poor squig.

I believe her policy was you have to contact PayPay yourself. But you will literally cause literal children to starve if you do.

ETA: Here's the form...

 

[Girty Drifter]

By the time someone’s managed to get cash out of people for things they‘ve not delivered five times in a row, one has to conclude it’s a featu, not a bug.

FTFY tenderstem

 

[BeardyBap]

We did not consider the possibility that Ring-doorbell-Cooper may actually be three cats in a trench coat. And what is being plotted eight doors down, from whence he emerges licking his lips? The biggest sardine heist in history?
Bad kitties.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I think "Foghorn Beghorn" was my 2nd favourite thread title after "Jack once again with the ill behaviour"