Jack Monroe #569 #YoullNeverWorkAgain

[Jelly Bean]

I think some of it he just...believed. I might be wrong.

Finally this bit always makes me laugh. View attachment 2896366

Two bags? And one had a cereal box in? That's nothing! If I thought someone in my family was Dickensianly, melodramatically, painstakingly STARVING in a HOVEL, I'd do a bigger shop than that for them. you can fill two bags just going to the Sainsbury's local for cheap biscuits. Is it possible she made that story up too

In another version of that story, the overwrought Greenbelt 'dramatic pause' one, she collapses at a foodbank after carrying SB there the morning after a s*icide attempt with SB in the house.
Someone at the foodbank leads her tearfully to a room where she breaks down and explains her situation. They then give her two binbags of food. She takes them home and shares them with a friend and they childishly eat lots of it.

 

[secretsrsafe]

Everyone's journey to sobriety is different, obviously, and I can only speak for me, but speaking for me and as someone who's coming up to two years sober, I don't recognise this "barely hanging on by my fingernails" behaviour from someone who is supposedly three years sober.

For me, I just don't think about it that much. I make my daily pledge in an app, and that's pretty much it. There's no "I'm sober, but only just!" drama. AA has not been part of my journey but if it had been I would be questioning why someone who is supposedly three years sober was attending a meeting every single day, because to me that would indicate someone who's not doing the work, who's not engaging with the healing process, who's not learning, developing or growing in their sobriety.

Frankly, she really pisses me off by implying that sobriety is still hard three years in, she gives a terrible impression to people who might be questioning their drinking and thinking about stopping - if she'd been my sober example, I'd have probably gone "to hell with it," and still be drinking.

Hear, hear!

 

[Captainmouse]

Never heard of a cheese called Monterrey Thieving bleep. Must try some.

Monterey jack cheese is not so easy to come by nowadays, great melting point good for panini

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Had the pleasure of meeting a chihuahua called Michelle a few months back and it really tickled me.

I have some family members who have been naming their cats after Pride and Prejudice characters since they got two kittens during the original run of the Colin Firth series in the 90s. Obviously a few cats have come and gone since then, their current cat is called Mrs Bennett.

 

[secretsrsafe]

Ladies and gentlemen, please place your bets on how long it will be before the next plea for money!

I reckon there will be another in the next couple of weeks, possibly tied into the release of an article with an embellished story about a hardship she has suffered.

Stalking was a good 'in' Jack because it's trending. Bravo. Unfortunately for you, people are SAVVY now when it comes to social media begs and you'll be seen before you rake in too much money.

Well done on upholding your principles and keeping that Twitter account! What a gift you are to a world that loves performative do-good-ism with absolutely duck all behind it.

My money is on 2 weeks. Preceded by many embellished pre-rattle sob stories. Although how she will outdo boiling soap is beyond me. She peaked with that one.

 

[rage naan]

Not forgetting the:

I’m the doe-eyed innocent victim of a crime that has DECIMATED my peace of mind and cost me THOUSANDS

Spoiler: NOT in any way a Complete/Comprehensive List

Going backwards chronologically
View attachment 2896150View attachment 2896151View attachment 2896156View attachment 2896152View attachment 2896194View attachment 2896193View attachment 2896190View attachment 2896191See also…View attachment 2896143View attachment 2896141View attachment 2896142View attachment 2896113View attachment 2896129View attachment 2896130View attachment 2896116View attachment 2896117thanks to @Marmalade Atkins @Silver Linings and @HotesTilaire for the Twitter and MN sceeenies.

strange how all that hacking, stalking, burglary and other thieving just keeps on happening to her despite her security paranoia innit. She really has the most dreadful bad luck. View attachment 2896195

 

[Jelly Bean]

I think she's been torn about how to explain her absence. She's dipped a calloused toe into a Greta Garbo like enigmatic withdrawal by choice, painstakingly learning Greek and watching kickyball. But happy. And sober.
Now she's going for being kept off SM against her will by TROLLS and being terribly ill and unhappy about it.
I suspect nobody was terribly interested in the former, hence ramping it all up for the latter.

 

[YerDa]

Not squiggling because he’s got over 10k followers, but if guest let this lad (A Chief Digital Officer, no less) get a sniff of her tech, he’d probably feel a little less supportive of her

 

[JombleWomble]

Imagine innocently asking a published food writer for a recipe and receiving a reply heavily implying they'd been suicidal. What kind of hole thinks it's appropriate to trauma dump on a stranger like that?! And from their professional account in response to a question about their work? It's ghoulish.

 

[Florid Language]

There are a few simps who are not in the comments club and trying to white knight guest with fawning tweets but she'll have to unlock her Twitter account to test whether she can make a proper comeback.
There are a few tweets amongst the people that I follow who have noticed that she's back and they're not positive.
They haven't named her but it's obvious who they're talking about.
I reckon she's got a strategy all ready to roll but she's scared to press that enter key after the rapid downfall she experienced post HH2.
She is stupid enough to try it again and it'll have the same outcome. There'll be more scrutiny than ever before.

 

[Grifty Mc]

My partner just innocently sent me this as he has no clue about tattle and I might have just laughed up a lung

Experts say wash tinned beans to cut side effects and boost health

You should rinse your beans to get maximum nutrition while reducing any negative impacts

www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk

 

[sioc]

I never knew her patreon had actually been hacked? Was there a thread at the time?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

In another version of that story, the overwrought Greenbelt 'dramatic pause' one, she collapses at a foodbank after carrying SB there the morning after a s*icide attempt with SB in the house.
Someone at the foodbank leads her tearfully to a room where she breaks down and explains her situation. They then give her two binbags of food. She takes them home and shares them with a friend and they childishly eat lots of it.

And in the third (2014)

And fourth (2016)

And fifth (2020) versions

Collapses sobbing at food bank in Feb 2013 cos can’t afford nursery fees, and then is immediately called and offered full time trainee reporter job at Echo. Drinks hot sweet tea.

The two bags of food are left on her doorstep by “the church” after she writes Hunger Hurts in July 2012.

While working full time as a trainee journalist at the Echo, collapses in shock (and sobbing) at food bank in May 2013 at the shock of being offered a book contract. Plus, despite having a full time job is also seeking “regular work”. Drinks hot sweet tea.

Edit: even though in these versions her parents didn’t supply the “two bags of food”, Daddy did give her a smol smol Christmas tree (and decorations)

(He left it on the porch, much like Elf Jack when the Christmas Eve taxi driver takes her all over Southend to leave generous festive gifts on people’s doorsteps, in fact).

 

[rage naan]

Cold cold bitter cold absolutely freezing bitter cold freezing cold cold cold did you know guest has never done anything without it being freezing cold. the microclimate in her part of the south of England is very unfortunate isn't it

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I never knew her patreon had actually been hacked? Was there a thread at the time?

The drama starts on 13th December 2023, thread #554 post #275.

Jack Monroe #554 Homeopathic levels of spice

#1545truther !! Brother Harold returns to the monastery after a terrifying experience with a fearsome bread-based demon. Catching the Yuletide Eel: Absolute cackled, proper shake laugh :LOL: 💀

tattle.life

 

[Jelly Bean]

And in the third (2014)View attachment 2896444

And fourth (2016)View attachment 2896438

And fifth (2020) versions
View attachment 2896439

Collapses sobbing at food bank in Feb 2013 cos can’t afford nursery fees, and then is immediately called and offered full time trainee reporter job at Echo. Drinks hot sweet tea.

The two bags of food are left on her doorstep by “the church” after she writes Hunger Hurts in July 2012.

While working full time as a trainee journalist at the Echo, collapses in shock (and sobbing) at food bank in May 2013 at the shock of being offered a book contract. Plus, despite having a full time job is also seeking “regular work”. Drinks hot sweet tea.

Omg I'm fairly sure there was hot sweet tea in the Greenbelt version too come to think of it. There was definitely some collapsing.

 

[Clovis]

C

And in the third (2014)View attachment 2896444

And fourth (2016)View attachment 2896438

And fifth (2020) versions
View attachment 2896439

Collapses sobbing at food bank in Feb 2013 cos can’t afford nursery fees, and then is immediately called and offered full time trainee reporter job at Echo. Drinks hot sweet tea.

The two bags of food are left on her doorstep by “the church” after she writes Hunger Hurts in July 2012.

While working full time as a trainee journalist at the Echo, collapses in shock (and sobbing) at food bank in May 2013 at the shock of being offered a book contract. Plus, despite having a full time job is also seeking “regular work”. Drinks hot sweet tea.

I remembered three versions, can't believe guest has the impudence to honk out five. Chapeau!

Trying to make sense of guest's mendacious retelling of the SEVERE destitution leaves me like I'm reading a DC comics multiverse story arc (wait, Wonder Woman is blonde? Superman is gay? Batman is an actual bat?):

 

[Five hundred dogs]

There’s also the version where she’s spotted taking home food from the Sure Start group. A worker there slowly, gently, peripateticly, draws the story out of the smol pixie and refers her to the food bank. In that version the Sure Start person is the one scooping her up rather than the food bank person. That version ends with ma and pa finding out after her single trip to the food bank and turning up with bags of food. I suspect that part is true, or as close to it as we’re going to get. Which means she was taking resources from the food bank she could have easily got from her parents.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Omg I'm fairly sure there was hot sweet tea in the Greenbelt version too come to think of it. There was definitely some collapsing.

Version SIX: August 2013
Falls apart
Hot sweet tea
Taken into another room
Unaliving attempt the day before
Two bags of food

That’s the August 2013 revisionist version of February 2013

Which (apart from the collapsing and the hot sweet tea) is most unlike the version she wrote in February 2013. There was no disembodied shouting in February, for one thing. Just sobbing followed by speechless silence.

Spoiler: Mither

Oi Jack, that August 2013 lie-filled lurid vile blog post of yours you PAINSTAKINGLY deleted from your website in December last year is baaaaa-aaaaack by the way

“The rain is just as wet, when you went to a grammar school. It soaks you to the skin, and your three year old, too.” (TRIGGER WARNING)

I’d like to apologise to anyone I seem to have mortally offended with my apparent ‘conventional attractiveness’ and taste for middle eastern food. In an article published today on…

oursouthend.wordpress.com

As is your December 2013 brown twiggy affair and unaliving attempt on Christmas Day. You know, that you also deleted last December?

I don’t hate Christmas this year.

I put my Christmas tree up this evening, on the 1st of December, the same as my parents had in all the years I can remember. It’s a twiggy affair, dark brown with LED lights, picked up today …

oursouthend.wordpress.com

FFS always been so busy eye rolling the rest that have never even noticed I SPURN THEE, CHRISTMAS! I RENOUNCETH CHRISTMAAAASSS!!!

Vile LYING FANTASIST (moronic) twit

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Guest isn't really talking about the actual Patreon hacking though. She's talking about having her Patreon and Paypal and all her social media accounts and website hacked and having her entire career destroyed, losing thousands of pounds, etc. and all of it at least a year and a half ago, enough to erase every stupid thing she's said and done since the release of Grifty Kitchen if not before. And this totally happened, of course