Jack Monroe #569 #YoullNeverWorkAgain

[hereforthechaos]

Also, if she’s so poor, why would you have a brand new lawn mower (which we know from photos she never used) and two, count ‘em two, ‘v good camping stoves’ plus loads of camping equipment. Much poor.

View attachment 2896275

She was too poor and anxious to go to a festival so she needed camping equipment for her garden escapades.

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard, one of my cats is called Susan.

Do you have to explain to her that “it’s an aubergine recipe”?

 

[BeardyBap]

can just rattle a tip jar at suckers & easy marks don’t need insurance?

 

[Cookiecookie]

SB, Mummy has bought you 3 fish, but you can’t give them name, I have to do that.

twit

Doesn’t everyone else let their children name their pets. I can guess he wasn’t allowed to name the cats or the dog either. I mean my cat has a stupid name, isn’t that the bleeping point. He was 3 he would have picked ridiculous names, that’s the point!

Why is it at every turn she shows herself to be a horrible parent.

Mine named our current dog Bea, after one of her favourite singers Beabadoobee.

 

[PamTax]

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard, one of my cats is called Susan.

Her Majesty’s (RIP) very first corgi was called Susan.
I know someone with a tarantula called Stephanie

 

[Cookiecookie]

microwave butter , jam and peanut butter together

No thanks...

 

[streby]

Where does she think money comes from.

Patreon? Not Suing Lee?

 

[ahkrin]

Plus in my time renting the landlord provided the lawnmower if they expected the tenant to do it. And for garden camping as a povvo we just cooked in the house and ate outside and slept in the tent, we didn't act like we were at base camp

 

[Hollaaa]

Excellent point on the home insurance. If she does genuinely have ADHD, I can sympathise with finding it difficult to get motivated to sort boring adult life admin like that, but what I cannot sympathise with is asking others to pick up the tab for it.

Speaking from my own experience here but you're more likely to end up being fleeced every year from not shopping around on insurance ever since that one time your dad made you sit at the table and just make the bloody phone call because I'm not replacing everything if one of your idiot flatmates leaves the door unlocked at 3am after going out all night on a mad one.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

She was too poor and anxious to go to a festival so she needed camping equipment for her garden escapades.

My brother in law is always pleading poverty and spent over £1500 on camping equipment as a way for them to have ‘cheap holidays’.
they went away for one weekend, wrecked all the equipment, didn’t dry out the top of the range tent, obviously never went again.

 

[Emmapism]

Ladies and gentlemen, please place your bets on how long it will be before the next plea for money!

I reckon there will be another in the next couple of weeks, possibly tied into the release of an article with an embellished story about a hardship she has suffered.

Stalking was a good 'in' Jack because it's trending. Bravo. Unfortunately for you, people are SAVVY now when it comes to social media begs and you'll be seen before you rake in too much money.

Well done on upholding your principles and keeping that Twitter account! What a gift you are to a world that loves performative do-good-ism with absolutely duck all behind it.

 

[TheCat'sMother]

Apropos dog names @The Cat’s Mother
I met a Great Dane called Deirdre and a border terrier called Mavis last year.

Just wonderful Stringers! My little cat is called Rita

 

[MediumLoad]

View attachment 2896144
Squigs are making her excuses for her now

Simpering Squigs have been with us since biblical times.

 

[rage naan]

Honestly that’s the weirdest part of the article for me. The fact it happened at all and the fact Shattenstone admitted to it both absolutely baffle me.

1) Why would the ringing chain around Southend be disclosed to Shattenstone in the first place? Surely they’d just tell him “Nah, can’t get hold of her, sod this”.

2) Why on earth would he think putting that in was good? He basically opened himself up for accusations of taking advantage of someone fragile and gave her the perfect opportunity to highlight much smol very fragile everyone worries about lickle Jackie.

3) why wouldn’t half the chain just say “duck off not my job she’s probably had a bender”?

4) how the duck did the Guardian think she/her article was that important it was worth all that effort to wait for her to be roused and do it all on a massive delay and precisely how much did that cost them?

I know people say “But it’s set in stone that will be the cover” but frankly no excuse for me - there should always be a back up plan in case something happens to an interviewee because even the most consummate professional could be hit by a bus/have a delayed flight/have an unexpected bereavement/get chickenpox right before the interview. This goes 1000x more when it’s someone who is literally known for addiction issues, being unreliable and throwing her toys out of the pram more than a teething toddler (ie Jack) so there was probably a 50% chance at best they were gonna get an interview out of her. They’re the Guardian, not some tiny local newspaper, bffr.

and this is exactly why I'm on the side of her should NEVER have allowed her to manipulate him into going to a pub. Eight hours previously everyone was panicking she'd relapsed. You have only her word for it she hasn't. You don't expose yourself to accusations of exploiting a vulnerable smol addict if you have any concept of journalistic ethics imho

One lil nugget I'd never noticed before from that article:

The whole melting soap beg blog was actually just research for Grifty Kitchen? Hokay then

Also I just realised that this bit

can be made to make sense if you think of it as different sideboards that never made it into her massive house. Because there was no room because it was already full of other sideboards. That she herself has posted photographs of.

Spoiler: furniture list c&p from wiki

400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
2396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
1529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
499 Cotswold Company chester dove grey wine console
599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak hidden shoe storage bench
730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
369 Cotswold Company chester dove grey shoe storage bench (bathroom)
999 Cotswold Company chester dove grey grand sideboard (for extra large dresser top)
249 Cotswold Company Westcote Blue Coffee Table with Drawers
849 Cotswold Company Westcote Inky Blue Extra Large Sideboard
1299 Cotswold Company Westcote Cream Large Double Larder
319 11x Cotswold Company standard delivery (22 investment pieces, say 2 pieces per delivery)

2232 8x Made Kendal dining chairs teal
384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit
1350 Hopkins SPITE SOFA (designers guild florence 2 seater)
785 Chesterfield the captain's swivel chair (mid-price range)
400 John Lewis hammock
400 John Lewis egg chair
575 Next westcott no footend double bed
150 6x metal folding chairs (for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things)
200 4x metal patio chairs (for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things)
150 2x IKEA TOBIAS Chair, transparent/chrome-plated
840 2x The Orchard Button Back Upholstered Chair Oatmeal Fabric with Wooden Legs
600 Aldi hammock chairs at £300 a piece
2375 CHESTERFIELD SOFA
50 2x B&M Lokken 4 Cube Basket Storage Unit White
30 12x storage cubes (at least) (£5 for 2)
4400 Antique fluted barrel back wingback leather library chair (median price)
140 shipping for wingback (average)
299 2x Made Marvel bar stools brass
1196 4x Made Kendal dining chairs tan
29 IKEA bekvam step stool white
29 IKEA bekvam step stool brown
45 IKEA bekvam stepladder 3 steps

Also while I do think hatty was aware of some of the stuff he was subtly highlighting

Spoiler: ED mention

I think some of it he just...believed. I might be wrong.

Finally this bit always makes me laugh.

Two bags? And one had a cereal box in? That's nothing! If I thought someone in my family was Dickensianly, melodramatically, painstakingly STARVING in a HOVEL, I'd do a bigger shop than that for them. you can fill two bags just going to the Sainsbury's local for cheap biscuits. Is it possible she made that story up too

 

[hereforthechaos]

and this is exactly why I'm on the side of her should NEVER have allowed her to manipulate him into going to a pub. Eight hours previously everyone was panicking she'd relapsed. You have only her word for it she hasn't. You don't expose yourself to accusations of exploiting a vulnerable smol addict if you have any concept of journalistic ethics imho

One lil nugget I'd never noticed before from that article:
View attachment 2896353

The whole melting soap beg blog was actually just research for Grifty Kitchen? Hokay then

Also I just realised that this bit
View attachment 2896354

can be made to make sense if you think of it as different sideboards that never made it into her massive house. Because there was no room because it was already full of other sideboards. That she herself has posted photographs of.

Spoiler: furniture list c&p from wiki

400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
2396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
1529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
499 Cotswold Company chester dove grey wine console
599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak hidden shoe storage bench
730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
369 Cotswold Company chester dove grey shoe storage bench (bathroom)
999 Cotswold Company chester dove grey grand sideboard (for extra large dresser top)
249 Cotswold Company Westcote Blue Coffee Table with Drawers
849 Cotswold Company Westcote Inky Blue Extra Large Sideboard
1299 Cotswold Company Westcote Cream Large Double Larder
319 11x Cotswold Company standard delivery (22 investment pieces, say 2 pieces per delivery)

2232 8x Made Kendal dining chairs teal
384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit
1350 Hopkins SPITE SOFA (designers guild florence 2 seater)
785 Chesterfield the captain's swivel chair (mid-price range)
400 John Lewis hammock
400 John Lewis egg chair
575 Next westcott no footend double bed
150 6x metal folding chairs (for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things)
200 4x metal patio chairs (for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things)
150 2x IKEA TOBIAS Chair, transparent/chrome-plated
840 2x The Orchard Button Back Upholstered Chair Oatmeal Fabric with Wooden Legs
600 Aldi hammock chairs at £300 a piece
2375 CHESTERFIELD SOFA
50 2x B&M Lokken 4 Cube Basket Storage Unit White
30 12x storage cubes (at least) (£5 for 2)
4400 Antique fluted barrel back wingback leather library chair (median price)
140 shipping for wingback (average)
299 2x Made Marvel bar stools brass
1196 4x Made Kendal dining chairs tan
29 IKEA bekvam step stool white
29 IKEA bekvam step stool brown
45 IKEA bekvam stepladder 3 steps

Also while I do think hatty was aware of some of the stuff he was subtly highlighting

Spoiler: ED mention

View attachment 2896363View attachment 2896364

I think some of it he just...believed. I might be wrong.

Finally this bit always makes me laugh. View attachment 2896366

Two bags? And one had a cereal box in? That's nothing! If I thought someone in my family was Dickensianly, melodramatically, painstakingly STARVING in a HOVEL, I'd do a bigger shop than that for them. you can fill two bags just going to the Sainsbury's local for cheap biscuits. Is it possible she made that story up too

Sounds more like a top up shop of treats for someone who had a tough time. Plus eating your kids cereal is crappy

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Sounds more like a top up shop of treats for someone who had a tough time. Plus eating your kids cereal is crappy

It's not his though it's for guest. Everything is for guest and she eats RAVENOUSLY, GREEDILY, from the box/pan

 

[Yel]

She just has to overegg the hacking.

I could maybe muster some support if told the truth about weird people (who are very much on her level) abusing the recover your account function to get into one of your accounts then live tweeting videos at the same time as things are changing on patreon (before dirty deleting the foolish posts highlighting illegal activity).

But she insists on being dishonest.

 

[rage naan]

I can't believe I fell asleep and missed a chaos! And a comeback gig featuring all the Greatest Hits, including:

Suicide Baiting
Sobriety Relapse Baiting
Known Stalker
Essex Police Celeb Squad
Free Recipies
Tin Rattle
Lonely Smol Pixie Going it Alone
Blaccent
Cheap Biscuits

I'm sooooo glad I have the day off.

Jason Momoa gif is a guaranteed from me. I never get tired of it

 

[MediumLoad]

She just has to overegg the hacking.

I could maybe muster some support if told the truth about weird people (who are very much on her level) abusing the recover your account function to get into one of your accounts then live tweeting videos at the same time as things are changing on patreon (before dirty deleting the foolish posts highlighting illegal activity).

But she insists on being dishonest.

Plus, given the length of time between her patreon being hacked and her tweet, it just smacks of a lame excuse.

I reckon, if her air fryer promo hadn't been utter dogshit and she had a full calendar of festival appearances coming up this year, she wouldn't have made any reference to "Ebil Trolls" at all. This is either a preliminary to a HH3 or a "Content ate my homework" excuse as to why she's not in the public eye anymore.

 

[MavisBeacon]

View attachment 2896307
can just rattle a tip jar at suckers & easy marks don’t need insurance?

Oh duck the duck off.
Her insurance wouldn't be super-cheap if she actually insured everything - but given the amount of high end photo equipment, laptop etc etc that she apparently needs for her WORK she would be a complete bleeping idiot not to pay for insurance (although she could insure that separately as a sole trader)
In 2021 Mr Beacon and I had extremely comprehensive contents insurance for our RENTED 3-bed house, including fancy bikes (£800 each), tools, jewellery (my 2 haunted engagement rings...), camera equipment, laptops, big TV, plus legal add-ons, out-of-the-house insurance etc etc - cost us £320.27 for the year with MoreThan, but having been burgled before I think it's worth it. She can't be boasting about all her spenny stuff (good stoves!) and with the same breath claim she can't afford to insure it. That's just dumb, and as others have said, incredibly offensive to people who are genuinely on a tight budget