Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

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Witchfinder Sargeant

I'm never sure if the "live" part is accurate or of it's a projection based on what it thinks might happen over the next 24 hours based on current activity, but I see the comeback's going well, losing four followers for every tweet.

 
Reactions: 47

Witchfinder Sargeant

Seaford Haggington said:
The more she tweets the more people realise they are following her and unfollow.

Your followers like you best when you say nothing at all.
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If I'd followed someone for budget tips and recipes and they suddenly started tweeting about football after a long silence, I'd unfollow. No offence to Our National Game™ but I hate football and if that's the whole angle of your account I have less than no interest in following you. I know everyone's vast and contains multitudes but hashtag muting exists for a reason, and that reason is so I don't have to see tedious people in replica kits wanging on.
 
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BeardyBap

Can confirm I also have enacted the “Oh, was I still following that arsehole?” protocol on occasion.
Love that for her.
 
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M

moldwarp

All of this all of this. Vali, your insight into the Twisted Mind of Jack is impressive, albeit a hard burden to carry I imagine dearheart.

Jack's past patterns of behaviour, especially her habit of using SM to make pass agg attacks on people in her IRL, lead me to believe that her recent silence has been due to her being focussed on a new beau, and not wanting to come off as crazy by posting madness on SM, which evidence suggests frightened Harold when he found out about her twitter presence and reputation.

Now, the new beau has seen sense and LEFT (probably surreptitiously, in the night, by a window) leaving Jack to pull out her usual playbook. What's that I hear you cry: introspection and a commitment to learn from the break up and do better? Don't be stoopid, OF COURSE NOT! Nah, it's another twitter drive-by shooting at her recent ex and also LJC while she's at it (cos Jack is like Rose in Titanic or, more realistically, Alex in Fatal Attraction: she NEVER LETS GO).

From the LFC tweet and garden tweet, we may gather that the proximate cause of her most recent break up was perhaps concerns expressed by her ex about her relationship with her son. Hence, time to prove I AM THE GREATEST MUVVER EVAHHHHH. You're welcome.
 
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moldwarp

Can I just ask wtf she means by a 'fishing gig'? Is she being paid to fish for an audience? Speaking at an ichthyologist conference? About to perform some slam poetry using fishing as another tired metaphor for addressing poverty? Is she back on her Christian Jack and off to be a 'fisher of men'?

Or does she just mean 'fishing trip' and once again this is an example of Jack using words that do not mean what she thinks they mean?
 
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Onestorytoomany

I have a mate whos old harold is an angler. Will find out how many fishing gigs he has been on this year and report back. From what i remember he normally just says hes off to work.... maybe he is doing it wrong!
 
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moldwarp

Onestorytoomany said:
I have a mate whos old harold is an angler. Will find out how many fishing gigs he has been on this year and report back. From what i remember he normally just says hes off to work.... maybe he is doing it wrong!
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Fishing as a hobby requires patience, formidable powers of observation, a meditative yet details-oriented mindset, and lightning-fast reflexes.

May I suggest that Jack is likely to be about as good at fishing as she is at making lasagne and writing informed political commentary.
 
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TheMiceInTheShed

Is she back on her Christian Jack and off to be a 'fisher of men'?

"Bait" is a bit rancid by now, I imagine.
 
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MaineCoonMama

Maybe the fishing gig is to catch some eels for her Cockney Pearly Queen Xmas dinner.?
Eel behaviour.
 
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CrackingOwlSanctuary

The most brazen part of her Liverpool fandom is not only was she previously a QPR fan but the fact that she constantly dismissed football as 'kickyball' for years, including her gig with Marcus Rashford, before 'remembering' Anfield ran in her veins.
 
Reactions: 62

Sweetcouchpotato

YerDa said:
She’d be the deadliest catch amirite
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I've seen an advert somewhere for a fishing tour with Paul Whitehouse - he even sort of does a mock humble "yes me" moment, so maybe she's doing a sort of temu standard fishing tour where mugs learn to fish and she shows them how to fuck up their catch and top a fillet with one of her disgusting sentient eggs?
 
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StewPots

She’s an absolute fucking melon.
SLOP!

GET A JOB JACK
PAY BACK THE MONEY YOU STOLE
PRODUCE THE VBI (or Veinous Bollocko Industrial as I’m calling it today)

Also, you’re from Southend (I’m from just down from Birkenhead and lived in the area till 5 so basically a woolly) and are just a plastic twat. Also also, take Hillsborough out your fucking mouth. You have NO IDEA what the people of the North West went through during that time, any more than you do about well…anything else really.

So go crawl back under that hideous vegan wellington you made or whatever the fuck it was, and think about if you really want to be doing this again.
 
Reactions: 34
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