Jack Monroe #566 Set flavours to none

[Bread]

We would likely be having a very different conversation about this if Gerri Halliwell had had an affair with an assistant and he then posted pictures of her genitals on the internet to humiliate her. At the very least, I don't think it would be 'tee tee, look how silly her minge looks haha'.

If they were unsolicited, I don't think we would.

I also don't think they've been posted to humiliate The Hornster.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

We don't need to speculate about guest's genitalia because she's told us all about them, and we can clearly see her made-of-erectile-tissue nose. Isn't she thoughtful?

 

[Geetbo]

We don't need to speculate about guest's genitalia because she's told us all about them, and we can clearly see her made-of-erectile-tissue nose. Isn't she thoughtful?

I suppose technically every selfie guest has ever posted is a dick pic.

 

[L3moning]

We would likely be having a very different conversation about this if Gerri Halliwell had had an affair with an assistant and he then posted pictures of her genitals on the internet to humiliate her. At the very least, I don't think it would be 'tee tee, look how silly her minge looks haha'.

Natalie Cassidy.

 

[Carefree]

Natalie Cassidy.

And even that would be considered revenge porn these days. Hence I've never looked it up because it clearly was a violation. Much like the Fappening () in the past.

 

[YerDa]

I’m totally lost as to what you’re all discussing here though I suspect that’s not a bad thing.

 

[phoebuscartel]

I’m totally lost as to what you’re all discussing here though I suspect that’s not a bad thing.

Worse than Lorraine’s growler

 

[Geetbo]

Worse than Lorraine’s growler

Tbf I looked at those pictures and they were nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. Certainly not a Mr Tumble situation.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Anyone who says dicks don't look silly is just lying.
Huv Tae didn't even specify whose peen was ugly, no names were mentioned.
The END!

All peens are anonymous except for Tommy Lee, Drake and Mr Tumble. I can't speak for fingers, growlers or pringle holders though.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Rumour is someone in Redbull mgmt released the pic, so he is the person to pursue for revenge porn.
It’s not as if the lady who was subject to harassment at work who Horner sent the pic to, released it.

People need to take a leaf out of Jack’s book and write “ATTENTION THE MEDIA! I am having an ouchie mentals and a bit of a sad, do NOT lift this series of tweets I’m about to fart out and put them in your newspaper” every time they do anything. Seems to work for Jack coz she’s never in the paper.

 

[GazpachoPolice]

Thanks for this @StewPots, I may have to change my name now

Fucks sake this is tit but I’m absolutely flying on my meds tonight so this is as good as it’ll get.

Based on her Gazpacho Soup recipe on her website…. I call it Horny GazJackSo

First you grab your cucumber;
No need to peel it back,
Your skin is full of goodness
I’d pay good money just to feel it against my crack

You are an onion with papery layers
Who needs wrapping in cling film
For this game in which we’re both players

You’re a naughty stick of celery, who I desire the most
And I can’t concentrate without having you close
Like garlic and pepper too,
You leave your stain on me, and in the middle of my Foo.

But that doesn’t matter because I need all of you
We are blended together,
Just like gazpacho soup

They say we are perfectly useable.
We just need to be put in the freezer
But I can’t think straight right now
Thinking about you, my bleeping geezer.

You garnish my body,
From my head to the ends,
You give me a pleasant little crunch
And you’re my texture, my lover and friend


I still want to put part of you in my blender
And season you with sugar
But I feel that we wouldn’t last that long,
We’d be the texture of a booger

We go at it top speed for a minute,
And if feels like everything is super smooth .
But I can’t do more than two minutes
As I’d burn out my camel hoof.

I love how you season me
With saucy compliments and kinks
I need to go in the freezer right now
And have 40 winks

Then I’ll be your deliciously cool treat
And you can serve me right up
Then flourishingly beat your meat.

 

[StewPots]

Thanks for this @StewPots, I may have to change my name now

Ha! You’re most welcome, tenderstem!

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

I wasn’t aware of anything regarding Tumble or Nat Cass in this context, will try to resist looking it up…

On topic, I was thinking Jack must still need an outlet for her ramblings now she’s quiet on Twitter. I think she might have gone on to Reddit or similar and is just arguing with people over random stuff to get it out of her system.

 

[VielleFemme]

I feel that Vlad is taking the piss somewhat with this advert for... interesting... jewellery directly under the mention of Lorraine's Growler.

 

[Geetbo]

I wasn’t aware of anything regarding Tumble or Nat Cass in this context, will try to resist looking it up…

On topic, I was thinking Jack must still need an outlet for her ramblings now she’s quiet on Twitter. I think she might have gone on to Reddit or similar and is just arguing with people over random stuff to get it out of her system.

I thought she might pop back up on mumsnet, but she’s so identifiable she can’t have done.

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

I thought she might pop back up on mumsnet, but she’s so identifiable she can’t have done.

Yeah I’m lurking over there quite a bit and there have been a few cozzy livs threads that had the potential of her piping up but no trace…

 

[jordishaw]

Yeah I’m lurking over there quite a bit and there have been a few cozzy livs threads that had the potential of her piping up but no trace…

Jack will be deep in a Reddit foxhole arguing about tanks (military round the edges after all) or another of their myriad special areas of interest. Anchovies, eggs, hydrangeas, lippy.

 

[YerDa]

I’ve been watching the CBB Launch on the off chance guest might be there and I’m just giggling at how far away she is from ever being featu

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

I’ve been watching the CBB Launch on the off chance guest might be there and I’m just giggling at how far away she is from ever being featu

And the bar is pretty low

 

[Carefree]

And the bar is pretty low

I read the list of people and recognised about four. "Celebrities", as a definition, is being stretched like crazy.