Jack Monroe #56 I, Jack Monroe

[FeelingGroovy]

She wants to avoid going back on benefits? Yes. I understand why. I’m sure it’s utterly utterly awful, but MOST fuckers wants to avoid being back on benefits. But they avoid this or try to, by getting a bleeping job.

Her sense of entitlement is contemptible.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

It's not impossible. For a start, if you applied for a job now, it would most likely not start until 1st September at the earliest. And it's going to take longer to get a job without a recent checkable work history, anyhow, so October sounds more likely. Or the JCP could put her onto a GCSE course to top up her qualifications to get through the filters requiring 5 GCSE passes.

For someone who’s had more jobs than Barbie, she’s very anti getting a “normal” job isn’t she?

 

[Breakdance Badass]

She wants to avoid going back on benefits? Shouldn’t that read she has no reason to need benefits?

 

[Cookiecookie]

Fucksake.

How many of us here LITERALLY have all of those things going on, on and off, all of the time. For various diagnosed/undiagnosed reasons.

YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL JACKIE. Stop begging for attention you vampire. If you think you might need help, GO TO THE DOCTORS. SM can’t diagnose you and your bullshit.

Also, you’re actually just a big bleeping tmwat too so not sure how you’re going to fix that one.

Not fishing for sympathy, because I'm largely a massive twit about my own MH and not dealing with stuff, but I can't remember not feeling the things she's describing.

I think maybe it's dawning on her a little that she really is up tit creek at the moment. Starting twitter fights won't help though!

 

[Bookweevil]

‘Who are you?’ asked Pocahontas.
‘No-one of consequence,’ replied Bookweevil.
‘I must know,’ replied Pocahontas.
‘Get used to disappointment,’ replied Bookweevil.

ADORE you! Would happily swap my kneecaps for your recaps

 

[Cookiecookie]

I think these tweets will not last long.

Once the donations hit the pot maybe?

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I think maybe it's dawning on her a little that she really is up tit creek at the moment. Starting twitter fights won't help though!

Do you think it’s a form of I think they call it white knight syndrome where she appears from the outside as standing up for the underdog against these big names?

 

[FeelingGroovy]

Not fishing for sympathy, because I'm largely a massive twit about my own MH and not dealing with stuff, but I can't remember not feeling the things she's describing.

I think maybe it's dawning on her a little that she really is up tit creek at the moment. Starting twitter fights won't help though!

Sympathies to you re: the MH stuff.


And yes, but she refuses to accept that she needs to change her lifestyle. If you can’t afford the rent - you need to move to a cheaper place. It sucks, but that’s real life. Her life is chaotic and her sources of income have vanished due to that chaos. She cannot feasibly live the rest of her life on tip jar shaking and patreon donations. It’s a bleeping house of cards.

Grow the duck up Jack Monroe. Sort your bleeping life out, show your child what being an adult is, you begging, entitled, spoilt brat.

 

[Breakdance Badass]

She’s gone very quiet. Maybe got enough info to pull together a story for the GP?

 

[Starsanddaggers]

So during lock down Jack has


* BARELY had a single break from looking after S. B.
* wrote a long list of all the weird and wonderful home school things S. B and her were doing (which mostly involved rinsing beans)
* has sported several different hair cuts.
* had the best time of her life doing DKL in a studio!!!
*presented hellmans mad gave it her whizz - jittery- all.
* redecorated her shed and it was so much fun being creative (& other such wank)
* forced 'SHE WHO LEFT' to camp in the garden against her will.
* adopted a kitten.
* took the kitten to three different vets.
* saw her mum and her brother (who has an afro don't you know...)
* got a smeg fridge.
* wore viv Westwood (rip) dress.
* took ten thousand sexy smiley selfies. Full make up!
* had a mini glasto in her garden.
* went to wilkos and asda approximately 10,000000 times.
* got on an expensive train to her homeland of Scotland.
* spent all her money on over priced hotdogs and burgers at five guys.....
* bought more random tatt including a jelly cat toast plushy.

And she's now telling us she's been in bed 21/22 hours a day and is poor.

Sell ya smeg and get over yourself Jack!!!!!!!

 

[Alansbigplate]

I'm in slow labour with a partner stuck abroad waiting for a Troop flight that's been cancelled three days in a row (bleeping IDS loving RAF ).

I'm so pleased that she's on one because, honestly, reading here is the only time I don't feel utterly consumed with anxiety. I really can't deal with looking at her Twitter, I think it might all seem even madder posted in segments on here because I don't seem to have any idea what is going on with her but y'all are just too funny

Thankyou

ETA: the illegal gif posting is my favourite. I like imagining your naughty faces as you decide to go for it.

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

Everyday she's Hustling....but not for the last 14 because she's been in bed for those....in 22 hrs stints no less....which is where I am heading now having finally caught up

 

[Uberrima fides]

For someone who’s had more jobs than Barbie, she’s very anti getting a “normal” job isn’t she?

Because she wants to be part of the showbusiness/media/arts crowd. I'm in with the in-crowd type of thing.

 

[anjames]

So during lock down Jack has


* BARELY had a single break from looking after S. B.
* wrote a long list of all the weird and wonderful home school things S. B and her were doing (which mostly involved rinsing beans)
* has sported several different hair cuts.
* had the best time of her life doing DKL in a studio!!!
*presented hellmans mad gave it her whizz - jittery- all.
* redecorated her shed and it was so much fun being creative (& other such wank)
* forced 'SHE WHO LEFT' to camp in the garden against her will.
* adopted a kitten.
* took the kitten to three different vets.
* saw her mum and her brother (who has an afro don't you know...)
* got a smeg fridge.
* wore viv Westwood (rip) dress.
* took ten thousand sexy smiley selfies. Full make up!
* had a mini glasto in her garden.
* went to wilkos and asda approximately 10,000000 times.
* got on an expensive train to her homeland of Scotland.
* spent all her money on over priced hotdogs and burgers at five guys.....
* bought more random tatt including a jelly cat toast plushy.

And she's now telling us she's been in bed 21/22 hours a day and is poor.

Sell ya smeg and get over yourself Jack!!!!!!!

Jesus, the shed revamp feels like it happened ten years ago.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

So during lock down Jack has


* BARELY had a single break from looking after S. B.
* wrote a long list of all the weird and wonderful home school things S. B and her were doing (which mostly involved rinsing beans)
* has sported several different hair cuts.
* had the best time of her life doing DKL in a studio!!!
*presented hellmans mad gave it her whizz - jittery- all.
* redecorated her shed and it was so much fun being creative (& other such wank)
* forced 'SHE WHO LEFT' to camp in the garden against her will.
* adopted a kitten.
* took the kitten to three different vets.
* saw her mum and her brother (who has an afro don't you know...)
* got a smeg fridge.
* wore viv Westwood (rip) dress.
* took ten thousand sexy smiley selfies. Full make up!
* had a mini glasto in her garden.
* went to wilkos and asda approximately 10,000000 times.
* got on an expensive train to her homeland of Scotland.
* spent all her money on over priced hotdogs and burgers at five guys.....
* bought more random tatt including a jelly cat toast plushy.

And she's now telling us she's been in bed 21/22 hours a day and is poor.

Sell ya smeg and get over yourself Jack!!!!!!!

*Whispers* I liked the little jelly cat toast. Also she fell out with Wilko something to do with their sick pay policy, they lost her as a customer.

Because she wants to be part of the showbusiness/media/arts crowd. I'm in with the in-crowd type of thing.

Her going back to towel folding or giving away turkeys for 3p won’t take away the fact Sue Perkins bought her several cocktails*
and Jarvis Cocker complimented her*
*allegedly

 

[Chipswitheverything]

View attachment 199186

This was for a radio 4 drama. I remember hearing it.... I think she was played by Jaime Winstone.

I'll get back to lurking now

 

[Icing _on_ the_cake]

View attachment 198812

Sorry - way behind. But maybe call your three therapists on speed dial?!

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

*Whispers* I liked the little jelly cat toast.

Me too. Would it be really inappropriate for me to message her and offer her a tenner for it?

 

[Starsanddaggers]

Ohhhhh her pffft pffft to Universal Credit has pissed me off something rotten.
She makes it sound like it's the lowest thing you can do?


We get UC. We're a normal family. Not some kind of skanks....

 

[no-no]

It’s ironic that the only handling of pans she seems to do lately is metaphorical (i.e. panhandling on patreon).

She sure does have an unusual amount of followers who’ve experienced the most severe burnouts, too. It’s like a hypochondriac convention...