Jack Monroe #56 I, Jack Monroe

[Pigman]

A liar. I don’t believe she was ever vegan-she had spam on her shelves when she was supposedly vegan & was talking in Edinburgh (on the link someone put up a few days ago-at the launch of veganish) about stewing steak. I’m now positive it was all lies just to exploit a growing market in plant based food.
Am so angry I bought the sodding book. Especially when I saw her buying the most shit factory farmed cheap chicken on the Scotland trip.

The worst kind of wanker, not giving a shit about where the meat is produced makes me hate her more sadly. This kind of of 'not my circus, not my monkeys' makes me so mad. Fuck, I fucking ate her. If someone is truly starving I could understand. My friend had a farmshop and someone stole a chicken, a free range, highest welfare chicken. His response, if they had come and told me they had no food I would have given it to them.

 

[Pocahontas]

Maybe an @admin could add the glossary to Jack’s tattlepedia page??

**Update**
I have now managed to do this! Link to @Bookweevil ’s incomparable Glossary of Jack is now on the Jack Monroe Tattle Wiki page (I’ll add this info to the ‘Jack for Dummies’ post as well).

 

[DinosaurSenior]

You win the internet today. Absolute belter

Well, I am to graphic design as Jack is to cooking.....

 

[FrumpyCat]

View attachment 198994

On Mumsnet there are always trolley beggars, have £6.17 to last for six weeks or whatever. Everything suggested they have either tried, or is impossible for various reasons. Because all they want is free money from strangers.

Remind you of anyone?

 

[AmberSpyglass]

Good morning Cabal xxxx
On my usual Grunkal, still on last thread so will catch up soon, just wanted to add before i wipe my brain clean....

Picture of SB means she's got him for the weekend. She did it before. She had him for a day then fucked off to Edinburgh.
She has returned to SM after 'deleting the app' and posed for some bizarre and ghastly photos. She also did that just before she fucked off to Edinburgh.

Brace yourselves Scottish Fraus, she's probably getting on a train as we speak...

Maybe she’s on her way to Greece to rediscover her roots and irritate the fuck out of the locals find a MaccieD’s for the culture innit.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Anyone else wondering if yesterday's tweeters not knowing that Mrs J LEFT have triggered her into stating today in no uncertain terms that Mrs J LEFT so please give her all the sympathy and attention and MONEYYYYYYYYY you can or can't afford.


Now fuck off. (I can't resist)

 

[Missmopps]

Hi fraus, I’m just popping out from 90% lurkdom to say hi and thank you for all your wit and insight!

I listen to many podcasts, and I’ve listened to nearly all of this series. The presenter, Margie doesn’t seem to make them anymore which is a shame as I like the premise, even though she does say “that’s SO interesting” a lot. Anyhow, at the time when she was releasing weekly episodes, I skipped the Monroe one as I kind of knew who she was and I definitely knew she was irritating so I gave that one a miss. Fast forward to now and I thought I would take one for the team and subject myself to that nasal whine to see what she had to say,

Take a listen while you are cleaning the loo or preparing Jackie’s famous Saus-agne for dinner tonight.

Lots of multiples of THREE mentioned and a few other discrepancies to what she has previously or had since stated. I can’t remember specifics as I was actually cleaning the loo and bathroom at the time (not furiously writing notes in one of my three notebooks) but I do know I had a few moments, no surprise there!

Oh, and that memoir she’s currently writing? Perfectly happy to sell the Hollywood rights to that when she’s finished

Edited to add: most people on that podcast, including top Michelin chefs, when asked what is the best thing they’ve ever eaten, talk about an epic meal at their favourite restaurant run a fellow chef, or eating lobster or some such by the beach in Thailand at sunset, that kind of thing. Jackie being Jackie, chooses HER potato dauphinois pie in a suet crust with mushroom and red wine gravy. She bangs on about it A LOT. She then adds in that of course, food bank users couldn’t possible relate to such extravagance in a pie so she then had to create a non fancy equivalent which equates to a potato pie with a load of bisto bunged over it.

‎Desert Island Dishes: Jack Monroe: Cooking on a Bootstrap: Food Writer & Activist on Apple Podcasts

‎Show Desert Island Dishes, Ep Jack Monroe: Cooking on a Bootstrap: Food Writer & Activist - 5 Sept 2018

podcasts.apple.com

 

[Uberrima fides]

The woman is a professional victim. If she won the top prize in the Euromillions, she still wouldn't be happy. There is no illness known to man that she hasn't had. There is no job she hasn't done. The sad thing is that people whose circumstances are truly dire over a long period of time tend to suffer in silence. Not Jack - she takes over every social media outlet to put out her begging bowl and then use the proceeds on highly priced sideboards.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Spoiler: Illness/Passing Away

I have been having some random stomach pains in the last few weeks and I’ve actually been feeling like if it was something like cancer, would it be the end of the world? I get a bit of attention and if they can’t cure it then well I’m not sure I want to live anyway because I’m so fed up of feeling shit.

It’s almost like an expectation as well. I’m genuinely not full of self-pity when I say I’ve had more than my fair share of tough times, and I’m waiting for the next game-changer.

I’m embarrassed at feeling like this.

Just to say, Ive had many periods of feeling like this. Its all very deflating and exhausting. Please don't feel embarrassed. Its hard enough without guilting ourselves too

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I think she had 196 Patrons. There were 199 when I looked not long after she posted the link.

Currently at 202.

Wel played, Jack

That’s over £600 a month and that’s only me basing it on everyone being on the lowest level.

 

[jenny2603]

I knew as soon as she mentioned the word burnout what was coming next. She is lazy and spoiled and believes she is entitled to a far better lifestyle than she has. I feel like tracking her down to her shitty bungalow and blasting 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' by the Stones at her on repeat in the vain hope something sinks in.

 

[Pocahontas]

Naked on the sofa? Eugh not keen on that at all, hope she’s on a blanket...

Do you think she wants Leo to paint her like she’s one of his French girls?

 

[AmberSpyglass]

She doesn’t want to make any concessions , sell stuff, move from her lovely house or claim benefits because chances are she has savings and assets plus a family who could help her out if she hasn’t burned all of her bridges with them.

She wants free money from her followers, that’s all.

 

[Fitnessqueen]

Next time I go out I’ll remember to avoid the days before the full moon. I’m going to come home to two more threads aren‘t I?

 

[live laugh loathe]

Thank you! Am fuming, even more than before.
So if even only 10 new people sign up she's making between £40 and £440 a month for fuck all?
I'm not being thick am I? Is it genuinely that blatant? I don't understand how this is moral let alone legal.
Even 40 quid is a week's shopping for a woman and a child that is barely there. So at a bare minimum she is getting a free week of groceries? That's disgusting.
Surely to God there is some sort of ombudsmen?
(apologies for my naivety!)

yeah, even if all 206 (probably more now) patreons are on the Minimum level it’s £824 a month and even if patreon takes a 20% cut (which feels generous) she’s left with £660. Not bad for sweet fuck all.

 

[MrsOgre]

I’m honestly speechless. She truly has no shame. Pathetic, triggering, grabby hands greedy goblin.

Me too. I'm raging here. I'm going to have to step away for a bit. It's obvious she's building up and getting angry.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Especially if she makes a habit of eating cheese in the nuddy

The shrieking and wailing up the stairs at 4am did it for us with our lodger. Every time somebody didn't worship her/beg her to date them after she'd gone on about how awful her life was (and it was a damn sight worse in her past, even though we repeatedly heard completely different versions in public). Well, that and the trip to Edinburgh Fringe for a week (performer, allegedly) where she came back and thought she didn't have to pay rent because she wasn't here and was 'too skint' to pay for the rest of the month, either.

She does the SM begging. Lots of 'a man verbally abused me on the train because I don't conform', 'I've been made homeless AGAIN, why does this always happen to meeeee?' (erm, because you smell, you don't pay the fucking rent, you buy multiple electronic devices and clothes and travel abroad, you've run out of places to have tattooed because you like them when you can't afford them, you threaten violence in lieu of 'humour', talk about both men and women in revolting objectified ways, you deliberately had the worst of your tattoos because you didn't want to get a normal, boring job ever, you target vulnerable people, especially men, and come out with the most homophobic shit imaginable for somebody who now makes a living out of being queer/NB and you fetishise violence?).

 

[FrumpyCat]

A super king bed is 6 ft wide, how big‘s the cat?

A cat, however small, can take up the whole of the bed. It is like at night they expand.

 

[busylass]

I knew the Patreon link was coming!

Yep. Just an excuse to promote it again to new suckers followers of poor St Jack of the downtrodden potatoes.