Jack Monroe #56 I, Jack Monroe

[Alansbigplate]

I'm in slow labour with a partner stuck abroad waiting for a Troop flight that's been cancelled three days in a row (fucking IDS loving RAF ).

I'm so pleased that she's on one because, honestly, reading here is the only time I don't feel utterly consumed with anxiety. I really can't deal with looking at her Twitter, I think it might all seem even madder posted in segments on here because I don't seem to have any idea what is going on with her but y'all are just too funny

Thankyou

ETA: the illegal gif posting is my favourite. I like imagining your naughty faces as you decide to go for it.

 

[anjames]

So during lock down Jack has


* BARELY had a single break from looking after S. B.
* wrote a long list of all the weird and wonderful home school things S. B and her were doing (which mostly involved rinsing beans)
* has sported several different hair cuts.
* had the best time of her life doing DKL in a studio!!!
*presented hellmans mad gave it her whizz - jittery- all.
* redecorated her shed and it was so much fun being creative (& other such wank)
* forced 'SHE WHO LEFT' to camp in the garden against her will.
* adopted a kitten.
* took the kitten to three different vets.
* saw her mum and her brother (who has an afro don't you know...)
* got a smeg fridge.
* wore viv Westwood (rip) dress.
* took ten thousand sexy smiley selfies. Full make up!
* had a mini glasto in her garden.
* went to wilkos and asda approximately 10,000000 times.
* got on an expensive train to her homeland of Scotland.
* spent all her money on over priced hotdogs and burgers at five guys.....
* bought more random tatt including a jelly cat toast plushy.

And she's now telling us she's been in bed 21/22 hours a day and is poor.

Sell ya smeg and get over yourself Jack!!!!!!!

Jesus, the shed revamp feels like it happened ten years ago.

 

[J4n0Z]

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She needs to get off social media and go and talk to one of those therapists she apparently has on speed dial. Doubt it'll happen though.

 

[IndigoStar]

Morning Frauen and welcome all new folks! Good to have you on board.

@IndigoStar why am I not surprised by the behaviour of the Jackolytes? How awful for you. I really hope your boss told them where to go. I knew someone this actually happened to (years ago now) and they were fired, awful.

Thankfully I’m still employed and have an understanding boss but it was a nightmare at the time, especially since I work in education. They were doing their best to contact everyone they could find in the same organisation!

 

[Silver Linings]

STOP ENABLING HER!!!

 

[help i need some help!]

I think these tweets will not last long.

 

[Marj24]

I always believed that Lily and her younger brother Alfie were the inspiration behind Harry Enfield's The Toddlers, he lived with their mum for a good while.

 

[SoulRebel]

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Is it a doctor thing?
Yes absolutely

 

[instacharlie]

Isn’t this latest meltdown all just evidence that she was being ‘looked after’ by her ex? Now that the proverbial cash cow is gone, she’s starting to panic.

So just a born-to-freeloader, in search of their next meal ticket. And any notion that she’s successful in whatever it is that she does, well, clearly not.

It's not her ex's fault she can no longer afford the rent by herself. She should have taken that into account before choosing such an affluent area to live, and maybe chosen more modestly.
What a coincidence that her last 2 partners have been financially comfortable.

 

[Stinkyminky]

Jack Monroe #57

..ain’t nothing going on but the rent; got to have a S-M-E-G, don’t you know her content’s FREE!

(too long, I know). Now fuck off thankyou.

 

[Colin]

Jack isn't the only person I find iffy on patreon. There is a musician I've seen live a couple of times who sent out a mailer to their fans asking for patreon sign ups, justified as they can't tour. I'm sure for musicians who really rely on touring this had been hard, but she is very successful and had been for over two decades. She had two houses, one in New York, one in New Orleans. I'd happily support a struggling musician if I could but that, to me, is not struggling.

I think the thing that really gets my goat with this whole patreon thing is, actually most of us are struggling now, people who feel ok to ask for cash from strangers are just assuming their struggles are now worthy and they are entitled to propping up their lifestyle rather than cutting back.

 

[Oofadoofa]

It’s nearly impossible to read anything from Monroe and her perpetual cries of dire straits without seeing it through the prism of the comment from the previous thread (Or two), which pointed out that the biggest and clearest sign of a sociopath is the pity play.

 

[J4n0Z]

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Oh wowwwwww!!! Just spotted this in Waterstones!!!

Pure dead brilliant! A bungalow of lies NEEDS to be the new thread title.

 

[MooBelle]

In addition to shite, I smell a fishing expedition. Throw out a vagueish 'I don't have enough money to cover my outgoings on slop ingredients Cotswold furniture and tacky wigs and boom watch the patreon jar fill up. She has finally done her accounts and realised the crazy spending has left her with a deficit. The twitter comeback, ARM and 'potatoes' was a warm up act designed to re ingratiate herself with twitterers before bringing out the begging bowl. Very sly indeed Jackie. Also using her child for misty eyed rhetoric too.

yup, exactly what i said this morning. She will have been planning this, at least since yesterday, probably longer. That's why we got the picture of SB yesterday.
There will be more to come.

 

[bignose28]

She's up to 219 paying Patreon supporters now...

Boosh. Blink and now it's 222.

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I honestly despair.

From my longtime lurking (thanks lockdown for stripping every other avenue from my life) it seems that there's a strong cross-over between ex-Jack-fans, or at least Jack-sympathisers, and posters on these ongoing threads. In terms of experience, in terms of empathy. Most of us (hope it's not too forward to include myself in the collective) seem to tick one or other of Jack's "excluded" boxes - poverty, ND, MH, single parenthood, self-employed, trauma/abuse history...

Which is the exact audience she's leaching off for her tips. Over and above her salaried work. Over and above her rainy-day savings. Over and above her accumulated social capital. Over and above her ebayable tchotchkis.

Do one Jack.

(I could very kindly explain what burnout means in the (ND) context in which I've experienced it. But I won't be drawn into providing fuel for this particular cosplay shitshow)

 

[ChickenPorridge]

But she said recently she has friends watching out for her. Where have they gone?

She dipped them in marmite butter and ate them

 

[Melling]

She doesn't even change the wording (and these aren't even the discussions I've seen about it previously, they were done by foodie accounts)
ETA : she really doesn't have an origianl bone in her body https://twitter.com/search?q=choc ice on a stick&src=typed_query

So stale. All her chat is. What next, a biscuit Olympics? Jaffa cakes are a cake I will die on this hill? Smiths songs as Chinese meals?

 

[J4n0Z]

Am I .... your mum?!

I think we are all your mum right now @Emlo!

@MooBelle that sounds so bloody scary - for all of you. I'm glad everything is on the up now.

@LennyBriscoe please don't be too hard on yourself and take care. I felt that way when I had severe PND - I think it's more common to have those thoughts than we know.

Much love to anyone who is struggling at the moment.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

But she's just LYING! She has plenty of money to cover her rent for the next wee while, until the next £££ job / twice yearly royalties comes in! She's done this before and she will CONTINUE TO DO IT. Until she can afford to buy a house outright because she somehow thinks it's what the world owes her!!!

You’re so right and we need to remember this. She’s riding on the euphoric high of “potatoes” (is that really its name, not read the shite) and hoping to remind people that she is indeed A POOR. If she gets a few months tenure out of every sub then she’s not done badly at all for 20 minutes tweeting

I wish her dad would just give her one of his rental properties to shut her up, but then she’s in for a shocker when she finds out how much maintenance & decorating etc is

She was full of ideas and gone off milk in Edinburgh, there were lots of announcements and secret squirrel meetings and nudge nudge tweets. What was the brand collab in Scotland? Did she not do it because she had to rush back?

Omg yes this and the cringe squee so excited for the future pic after Hellman’s?!

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

Next thread suggestion.... Not financially bereft.....her patron is theft!