Jack Monroe #541 First do no honk

[phoebuscartel]

What, like someone calling a former “prostitute/whore” something like “a slutty whiny bitch whore”, you mean?
View attachment 2442982

Too short

ROLL EYES REACTION

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

No one is a bon vivant or gourmand at 103 pounds or whatever ridiculous weight she decided to dub herself.

Especially as 95% of that 103 pounds (approx) has got to be retained constipation excrement because of all the Tramadol she's constantly consuming (by her own account).
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If you did it would look even more like SA on the dinosaur
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Oh Gawd! I can't unseemly this now!

What an innocent I am was!

 

[PunkyMonkey]

That troll may be a winged insect. Just saying.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Oh don't give her ideas, she'll be one of those people who want an amputation next...

May I suggest doing it French-style?

 

[hollywood]

Still Grunking, so who knows where this will land but when I was in somewhere somewhere watermelon in deep south USA, I was taught to make gumbo. The roux alone can take 4+ hours and is simply flour and butter. You can't stop stirring for even a moment. She could never.

But, if you have the patience, and a decent stool if you have ouchies, it is fascinating what happens to flour and butter over such a long time. It changes completely and the process is mesmerising. I've made it a few times since, but can never find the right sausage for an authentic gumbo. But could prob just use cheapy ones from Tesco, right?

That sounds amazing! Can you post the recipe please? I would love to give it a go.

 

[Lazarus]

In her original blatherings, there's some shit about it being spicy. I suspect that means 'there was a bit of salt in it'.


She'd have conniptions about the standard level of heat in foods round here. Every time a new takeaway opens up, they last about ten minutes of asking why is everybody complaining their food is bland before shrugging, saying 'Fuck it' in their home language and upending all of the chillis into things.


ETA: to give you an idea, the Co-op round the corner sells 4 types of fresh chilli, an entire rack of chilli and hot sauces, hot mango chutney, chilli ketchup, chilli mayonnaise and when they had a special delivery of 1l bottles of chilli oil, they sold out within an hour.

And that's with three independents with their own walls of chilli, pickled garlic, lumps of ginger the size of your arm and more spicy stuff within 20 yards and then entire supermarkets floor to ceiling with spices another quarter of a mile away.

Sounds amazing. Not in the vicinity of Lawrence Road/Smithdown Road, is it?

 

[glubby]

Spoiler: OT cat related

Can this silly cow have a thread yet. Been chattin wham for about 10 years. And of course there's View attachment 2441308a Pay Me pinned tweet. Of course there is.

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It's easy and I'm not fit. All that squeezing your middle does make you fart though. Warned.

Spoiler: OT judeinlondon

I can’t stand her!! Would love a thread about her but unfortunately (well, fortunately) I don’t follow her so wouldn’t have much to contribute. Every time I see her she’s going off on some daft screeching crusade like this and being needlessly argumentative with everyone. I was reading her tweets about being ‘attacked by a herd of cats’ yesterday and trying to work out what on earth she was even trying to say. It was something about how cats are equally as dangerous as XL bully dogs because they sometimes scratch people and it can get infected Complete whopper.

 

[ahkrin]

I probably learnt that radiators have water in them when I was in my late teens and bled a radiator for the first time.

How on earth has guest managed to get to her fourth decade without having bled a radiator, particularly as someone who for the majority of her life has been the sole adult occupant?

Is this the real reason for her living in a freezing flat? Although you'd think she could ask Big D. She could have a bleed key for every radiator for like 0.05% of a sideboard.

 

[Captainmouse]

You are absolutely right @Lazarus all of ‘that’ should preclude any participation in a show like that. I thought Banessa Feltz was a strong person until BB!

She’s been a nightmare on celebs go dating, cringe

 

[griftalo]

Those wooden rowing machines make me think of men with handlebar moustaches wearing woollen unitards.

Me too!!

 

[here we go again]

They did move offices in London over a decade ago, from Farringdon to Kings Cross. But this was a step up into a much, much larger premises which forms part of the Kings Cross regeneration. Very smart offices, fit for purpose for the digital age and accommodating more staff, but also with venues for events, training and concerts.

Can confirm their offices are lovely and not cheap either, even with a ton of roadworks outside!

 

[griftalo]

I wish I was talented enough to change the "Y" in Peppa's expletive into an "F".

If you did it would look even more like SA on the dinosaur
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Spoiler: Off topic

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Omg it really does look like that now
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Not been in a good place last few days so a lot of catching up to do.
One of my cats got hit by a car and we had to make the difficult decision to have him put to sleep. He was just a baby. The whole situation was just terrible and while I know we did the right thing, letting him go being loved and cuddled and talked to. I'm just an awful mess.

Just how Jack could watch that poor kitten suffer and then monetize it? Makes me livid.

Sorry for the depressing post.

I’m so sorry.

it’s beyond belief isn’t it.

 

[griftalo]

I am forever torn between whether gas in the radiator pipes or use an American fridge is the stupidest thing she’s ever shared with the world as if she’s a genius. Wasn’t the American fridge after the electricity company partnership she had which was aimed at educating people about it as well

They’re both mashed, softly and gently into one in my brain, saving any unnecessary brainergy being used. Just tell yourself she’s thick and save the effort

 

[Copacapybara]

You do realise YOU may be the cause of our very dear friend's extinction?!!! In a sort of timewarpy back to the future kind of way. Change your shopping habits forthwith lol

Oh man, I know I’m flawed but my sole responsibility retrospective mass-extinction wasn’t on my radar before

 

[Cat Face]

You have just reminded me of the truly wonderful “Get Stuffed” - a lot of it was dire but goodness me there were some bangers every now and again

"Beany Pie" is still a staple fave in my and my children's houses!

 

[Dr.CM]

She’s been a nightmare on celebs go dating, cringe

VF used to annoy me but I think she's pretty game and upbeat, also she's really sharp and witty. I didn't see her in the Jungle, what happened?

Spoiler: Vanessa mither

Also, I felt it was a bit inept of Dating producers to match her with a black man who works in the music industry as if that's how romance works... like substitute him for the last one... and I think that decision was also wide open to being called out for racism. *Please note* I don't know enough about it - maybe she ticked boxes on her form that said she like tall musical black men... LOL

Sorry for going off topic.

 

[L3moning]

Or as it’s the middle of the night, go and look at pictures of gigantic blonde football players on the internet for a bit.

I can help!

Spoiler: Like this?

 

[I'm not actually here]

"Beany Pie" is still a staple fave in my and my children's houses!

Recipe pls!

 

[mchops]

This reminds me of a friend who was accidentally getting free electricity from the local leisure centre. It was in the arse end of nowhere and the previous resident had done something creative with the wiring.

There is also a flat in the South that comes with free gas which I regret leaving. After 3 months we still hadn’t recieved any bills, I i called all the major gas suppliers and nobody had us listed. And they couldn’t take us on without knowing our previous supplier. Then I called the national provider info service, which basically read out a prompt saying:

‘Thank you for calling us. Your gas supplier for the property is ….’ (Crickets).

Then I gave up. We had our own meter separate from everyone else and I checked no neighbours had weirdly high gas bills so I don’t think it came from elsewhere. I was always slightly nervous about getting a bill when we moved 5 years later though.
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This needs an ‘educational’ button…

Sign up to Jack's peotron to get - Gas free, with only old bike innertubes amazing and cost saving no matter the eventual outcome

 

[Captainmouse]

Sorry to go OT but is that Olivia Coleman?

Sorry no clue