Jack Monroe #541 First do no honk

[MurielSnark]

It sounds like something we need here (deeply remote area, many struggling). There isn't a restaurant or shop within walking distance for anybody not in the heart of the villages to pick up food going spare at the end of the day, so much of it goes to chickens and the odd pig or two, or on compost heaps to grow more veg to sell in the local shops. There must be food going out of date though.... I'm going to look further into this.

BTW to those saying they are having to cut out salmon etc.... You lucky, lucky barstewards!!!! It has taken me just over 6 weeks to finally achieve my dream of scrambled eggs on toast where the eggs didn't float, or the butter hadn't turned into some strange blue cheese thing or the bread wasn't stale. bleeping achievement to get all 3 ingredients here at the same time AND have not run out of gas to cook with!!!!!

You're correct to say that poverty in rural areas has different variables to urban poverty.

For me, personally, I choose to live in an urban centre where I know I have access to services services like healthcare, shops, libraries, social spaces, public transport etc reasonably easily. Because I live alone and don't have a car or a big family to draw on for support, I need to be self-reliant and able to access public services as nearby and conveniently as possible.

I'm sure for some people, the trade offs of living in the deep countryside outweigh these but for me, with an eye on my not-great health and my advancing years, I don't want to be cut off from support.

 

[Bugger13]

Hang on a minute. Jack COULD get her own pot of coronation chicken from the corner shop for the long (long) walk home.

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But her BROTHER had to buy her Chomp bars from the corner shop because she was PAINFULLY SHY?
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FFS “I wear sunglasses on the tube”. Chill the duck out, Norma Desmond.

Could this explain the prick falling under a train (to be saved by a flat ‘Mediterranean arse’?)

 

[MurielSnark]

I suspect there are a couple of things going on. There’s no way in the world she’d have let the anniversary (and the ten year anniversary at that) of Hunger Hurts pass by without an anniversary post really ramping up the histrionics last year. She’d already done anniversary posts in a number of other years that had started to become increasingly lurid, lie strewn and exaggerated (see: You don’t batch cook when you’re suicidal, 2020). HH2 isn’t really much of a step up from that grift and lying-wise, other than it being so melodramatic it’s basically nonsensical.

I think she was seriously grifting for a house last year. There was Teemill, the Nigella bump, three lurid lengthy blog posts about her weary bones that were blatant tin rattles,
View attachment 2439624 View attachment 2439625Then came Sue Lee, “practice mortgage appointments” and then this
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I think she fully believed Harold was her key to that house, FFS she breadcrumbed it and weddings incessantly. HH 2022 was also a giant desperate beg because he’d become wise to how bleeping dreadful she actually is and pissed off, dashing her plans of getting knocked up/married/a house bought for her.

Then there’s the double FOREVER HOME grift in the front and back of Grifty Kitchen and all the other times she rattled the tin about her extortionate rent and desire for a forever home. She went on and on (and on and on) about mortgages and forever homes last year. What she actually spunked all that cash on and how much is left is a mystery, but I think that’s why she was grifting it all.

I’d forgotten about this thread title View attachment 2439645

I agree with this. She's obsessed with home ownership. Although, god knows what she'd do with the responsibility of it all -- having to save up to paint and do renovations and keep up with all the basic stuff so that the bank doesn't take it back. She doesn't strike me as remotely competent to have a mortgage.

 

[Copacapybara]

Wait, wut? Our @WoolyMammoth has a skincare range?

I feel a bit guilty about the environmental and moral impact of my spending habits now

 

[I'm not actually here]

I feel a bit guilty about the environmental and moral impact of my spending habits now

You do realise YOU may be the cause of our very dear friend's extinction?!!! In a sort of timewarpy back to the future kind of way. Change your shopping habits forthwith lol

 

[Copacapybara]

Jack hacks - here's a great way to save energy and use one of your numerous spoons collected being a wisp of a tinker.
View attachment 2439607
Publisher - please don't do this, it is criminal and you probably will die .
*wipes hands of whole mess

This reminds me of a friend who was accidentally getting free electricity from the local leisure centre. It was in the arse end of nowhere and the previous resident had done something creative with the wiring.

There is also a flat in the South that comes with free gas which I regret leaving. After 3 months we still hadn’t recieved any bills, I called all the major gas suppliers and nobody had us listed. And they couldn’t take us on without knowing our previous supplier. Then I called the national provider info service, which basically read out a prompt saying:

‘Thank you for calling us. Your gas supplier for the property is ….’ (Crickets).

Then I gave up. We had our own meter separate from everyone else and I checked no neighbours had weirdly high gas bills so I don’t think it came from elsewhere. I was always slightly alarmed about getting a bill when we moved 5 years later though. I don’t think I have enough spare kidneys to pay for all that.
---

Jack hacks - here's a great way to save energy and use one of your numerous spoons collected being a wisp of a tinker.
View attachment 2439607
Publisher - please don't do this, it is criminal and you probably will die .
*wipes hands of whole mess

This needs an ‘educational’ button…

 

[Nottonightbabe]

The spending in the wiko that has been forensically recorded would explain a substantial proportion of where the money has gone. And that is only what we can see. Imagine how much she has spent/wasted on food, spices etc over the last decade, let alone what is in her wardrobes and boxes in the bungaloid that has never been photographed.

Not just the purchasing of items either. I can see her spending a lot in other ways, taxis, takeaways, meals out etc. All for her of course. She'd be the type to be dropping £35 a month on a 'self care' subscription box and the like. Could even be a gambler, who knows.

 

[Copacapybara]

You do realise YOU may be the cause of our very dear friend's extinction?!!! In a sort of timewarpy back to the future kind of way. Change your shopping habits forthwith lol

Oh man, I know I’m flawed but my sole responsibility retrospective mass-extinction wasn’t on my radar before

 

[mchops]

This reminds me of a friend who was accidentally getting free electricity from the local leisure centre. It was in the arse end of nowhere and the previous resident had done something creative with the wiring.

There is also a flat in the South that comes with free gas which I regret leaving. After 3 months we still hadn’t recieved any bills, I i called all the major gas suppliers and nobody had us listed. And they couldn’t take us on without knowing our previous supplier. Then I called the national provider info service, which basically read out a prompt saying:

‘Thank you for calling us. Your gas supplier for the property is ….’ (Crickets).

Then I gave up. We had our own meter separate from everyone else and I checked no neighbours had weirdly high gas bills so I don’t think it came from elsewhere. I was always slightly nervous about getting a bill when we moved 5 years later though.
---

This needs an ‘educational’ button…

Sign up to Jack's peotron to get - Gas free, with only old bike innertubes amazing and cost saving no matter the eventual outcome

 

[hollywood]

Leap-Grunk

 

[Nottonightbabe]

This reminds me of a friend who was accidentally getting free electricity from the local leisure centre. It was in the arse end of nowhere and the previous resident had done something creative with the wiring.

There is also a flat in the South that comes with free gas which I regret leaving. After 3 months we still hadn’t recieved any bills, I called all the major gas suppliers and nobody had us listed. And they couldn’t take us on without knowing our previous supplier. Then I called the national provider info service, which basically read out a prompt saying:

‘Thank you for calling us. Your gas supplier for the property is ….’ (Crickets).

Then I gave up. We had our own meter separate from everyone else and I checked no neighbours had weirdly high gas bills so I don’t think it came from elsewhere. I was always slightly alarmed about getting a bill when we moved 5 years later though. I don’t think I have enough spare kidneys to pay for all that.
---

This needs an ‘educational’ button…

I had free broadband for a year, not sure what happened but they thought I'd cancelled my contract, I told them I hadn't. Next thing I knew we no longer had any account with the provider, but the broadband carried on working .

I know of some people locally that get free water too, it being easier to tap into than the leccy meter...

 

[ForgettyBetty]

I love the word "knurg"

 

[Ms Biscuit]

Catch-up Mitherings:

It was Arcade Fire that Jack went to with Mr. Potato Head. She tried to imply at the time that she needed him as a bodyguard (eyeroll), although they may have been his tickets, wfk as always with guest. Clearly a good and special friend, since she never mentioned him again after this performative appearance. This was also right at the time that Win Butler was facing some fairly awful sexual misconduct accusations (from a number of different people), and various opening acts dropped off the tour. Didn't seem to bother Jack, though.

As for last year's big tin rattle--I don't think it was for anything more interesting than the house she clearly intended to buy (and clearly did not). I do find myself wondering occasionally whether everything is still boxed up and ludicrously over-labeled. . . . It was pretty much the only thing resembling "work" she's done in ages.

She is apparently off the sofa and back in a bed for Rubenesque napping purposes, though. When she isn't trying to look like a "stone-cold dyke."

She's not interesting or funny to me, lately. Just . . . absent. Maybe that's the best thing!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

People have mithered about her bleeping up her exams because she’s lazy, I put it to you that it’s solely because she is a bit thick (on top of a huge ego).

Case closed number 2.

The time last year exercise expert fuckwit here told everyone an indoor rowing machine “can be as high or low impact as you want”. High impact rowing machine exercise presumably being when you stand on the seat and do jumping jacks and burpees on it?

She’s thick, arrogant and too bleeping lazy to do a five second internet search to stop her looking like a total twit.

Twitter ss @Silver Linings

 

[Dr.CM]

The 'umble 'ungry urchin act would have got an airing. Probably a recycling of her 'you only invited me here to make sure I got fed' gag she's so proud of. Honoury degrees for a scammer- that's an embarrassing blip on a unis record.

- cut by me for focus -

I want to say something. I feel so strongly about this.

I don't have a degree as I unfortunately dropped out of university but I know how hard it is to a) get there in the first place; b) navigate all the academic systems and institutional rigmarole; c) cope with the social aspect, being away from home, managing budgets etc; d) doing the actual coursework and submitting work to deadlines with the all the correct research, references, quotes etc. Not to mention the costs and the vast student loans youngsters and mature students are being landed with.

Anyway I'm outraged that in any civilised country a liar and scammer should have been awarded an honourary qualification, not even one but two. It is now clear that her 'work' has been nothing but a grift. And for what? For thin air! I believe she should be stripped of these awards and I would like us to lobby the universities. How do we go about this? Maybe we can all plan a letter together that we can cut and paste and email from our own personal names and addresses. Honestly, it's a scandal.

She's a disgrace to the middle class that she comes from and she's undermined and mocked the working classes (that I come from). Shouldn't all those fuzzy lefty guardian readers knitting yoghurt and helping the poor people actually be as outraged as I am!?!

 

[Ms Biscuit]

Case closed number 2.
View attachment 2439692View attachment 2439693The time last year exercise expert fuckwit here told everyone an indoor rowing machine “can be as high or low impact as you want”. High impact rowing machine exercise presumably being when you stand on the seat and do jumping jacks and burpees on it?

She’s thick, arrogant and too bleeping lazy to do a five second internet search to stop her looking like a total twit.
View attachment 2439706View attachment 2439707View attachment 2439710
Twitter ss @Silver Linings

Lol. High-impact rowing. And add this to the list of things she spent money on rather than a house. She had an internet-enabled rowing machine so she could compete? duck right off, Monroe.

She rowed about as much as she skated on that board.

 

[streby]

It is a very bad idea to try this (unless you know what you are doing, and fancy 3 hots and a cot when caught!).

I once had to very politely decline a drunken neighbour's offer to set me up with "free electric" because I would definitely get caught or at least worry about it constantly. Or it'd be like in that Still Game episode where the whole building/street suddenly gets cut off when I switched a light on.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

I want to say something. I feel so strongly about this.

I don't have a degree as I unfortunately dropped out of university but I know how hard it is to a) get there in the first place; b) navigate all the academic systems and institutional rigmarole; c) cope with the social aspect, being away from home, managing budgets etc; d) doing the actual coursework and submitting work to deadlines with the all the correct research, references, quotes etc. Not to mention the costs and the vast student loans youngsters and mature students are being landed with.

Anyway I'm outraged that in any civilised country a liar and scammer should have been awarded an honourary qualification, not even one but two. It is now clear that her 'work' has been nothing but a grift. And for what? For thin air! I believe she should be stripped of these awards and I would like us to lobby the universities. How do we go about this? Maybe we can all plan a letter together that we can cut and paste and email from our own personal names and addresses. Honestly, it's a scandal.

She's a disgrace to the middle class that she comes from and she's undermined and mocked the working classes (that I come from). Shouldn't all those fuzzy lefty guardian readers knitting yoghurt and helping the poor people actually be as outraged as I am!?!

She made it far worse by acting like she received actual degrees rather than being honored by the universities. Using the "Dr" title and referring to a "graduation photo" are just two ways I can remember off the top of my head. Have never, ever, seen anyone make such a fool of themselves as she did over the honorary degrees and in the process removing any dignity whatsoever.

 

[StewPots]

What’s the opposite of a grunk? Where you just skip a few pages, hope for the best, and just dive on in (ir)regardless(ly) with your mithering (pronounced ‘mithering’)?

I feel it needs a name.

Flunk?

 

[I'm not actually here]

I want to say something. I feel so strongly about this.

I don't have a degree as I unfortunately dropped out of university but I know how hard it is to a) get there in the first place; b) navigate all the academic systems and institutional rigmarole; c) cope with the social aspect, being away from home, managing budgets etc; d) doing the actual coursework and submitting work to deadlines with the all the correct research, references, quotes etc. Not to mention the costs and the vast student loans youngsters and mature students are being landed with.

Anyway I'm outraged that in any civilised country a liar and scammer should have been awarded an honourary qualification, not even one but two. It is now clear that her 'work' has been nothing but a grift. And for what? For thin air! I believe she should be stripped of these awards and I would like us to lobby the universities. How do we go about this? Maybe we can all plan a letter together that we can cut and paste and email from our own personal names and addresses. Honestly, it's a scandal.

She's a disgrace to the middle class that she comes from and she's undermined and mocked the working classes (that I come from). Shouldn't all those fuzzy lefty guardian readers knitting yoghurt and helping the poor people actually be as outraged as I am!?!

I'm actually with you as long as by saying we plan to do so we wouldn't be booted off Tattle.