Jack Monroe #541 First do no honk

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Hang on a minute. Jack COULD get her own pot of coronation chicken from the corner shop for the long (long) walk home.



But her BROTHER had to buy her Chomp bars from the corner shop because she was PAINFULLY SHY?


FFS “I wear sunglasses on the tube”. Chill the fuck out, Norma Desmond.
 
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And presumably buy the chips as well... but wasn't she meant to be anorexic at the time and has complained people didn't notice she wasn't eating?? The fact she was eating a whole tub of coronation chicken over chips regularly perhaps explains that. Or am I getting the lies muddled again?
 
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Well where is our campaigner today? Why isn’t she challenging her beloved Asda and their amazing value range?
 
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@Valiofthedolls do you have the Jack and her friend Tuber Nightshade aka Mr Potato Head at the (Arctic Monkeys?) gig pic but with the naff caption underneath? I can't find it anywhere.
 
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Ah yes, in 2013 15 year old Jack was greedy guzzling down dolcelatte walnut vermouth pasta


2016 teenage Jack walked the long long walk to and from school because= eating disorder (SEVERE) and the same 15 year old Jack who greedy guzzled the dolcelatte pasta had a 20 inch waist.


By 2018 though, teenage Jack walked the exact same long long walk so she could afford her lovely lovely pot of coronation chicken and chips


By Shattenstone though, she was an anorexic teenager again and was MAGICALLY CURED BY PIES!


Except she’d already told Twitter in 2022 that she was CURED BY THE FIRE SERVICE before she got pregnant and took the “pie cure”, oh and that her ED started when she was nine not twelve as she told Shattenstone not even a year later. ETA here’s where she said she stopped eating at age 9


Also, 2016 remained “prepubescent” until she started getting better as an adult and suddenly grew tits


2015 hated her breast since puberty and started binding them at school.
she’s a fucking disgusting dangerous liar and there is nothing she will not lie about or weaponize.
 
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@Valiofthedolls do you have the Jack and her friend Tuber Nightshade aka Mr Potato Head at the (Arctic Monkeys?) gig pic but with the naff caption underneath? I can't find it anywhere.
It’s in my post with the potato pic from today, in the spoiler.

I think it might have been Arcade Fire that was so DANGEROUS for ol’ shark eyes that she required a BURLY bodyguard facetuned to look like a face painted on a potato though. Arctic Monkeys are just a bit too daring for Jack
 
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Well where is our campaigner today? Why isn’t she challenging her beloved Asda and their amazing value range?
Well. This Tik Tocker has basically created an Index which shows, through the lens of just one of the big supermarket chains, how food inflation is affecting people on low incomes. Excellent work. Punchy, fact-based, well presented.

Monroe's mythical VBI, which we all know doesn't exist, is outdone by this simple video. She has nothing unique to offer and nothing to say. Good.
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It’s possible that you didn’t recognise him without the tache.
View attachment 2439150
Yes, I understand the comparison to Mr Potato Head but I didn't know who he was and what the context for this pic was.
 
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By the time her mememoir comes out she’ll have had to cross the sodding Himalayas on an elephant to get to school. Or was it the Alps? I’m getting my mountain ranges muddled.
 
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Ah ok. This photo pops up here quite often so I wondered if he was some celeb that I didn't know.
I don't think we ever triangulated the poor sod beyond someone she was pretending was acting in some sort of security capacity for her to encourage the rage nans to dig deep.
 
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I don't think we ever triangulated the poor sod beyond someone she was pretending was acting in some sort of security capacity for her to encourage the rage nans to dig deep.
Isn’t he something to do with micro greens?
 
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If she had 'severe' anorexia she wouldn't have been having the periods to get pregnant. She does a disservice to every condition she ever talks about.
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Isn’t he something to do with micro greens?
Youve lost me there tenderstem
 
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Well where is our campaigner today? Why isn’t she challenging her beloved Asda and their amazing value range?
I don’t think it’s fair to say Asda has put profits before people. Leaving aside the fact they have a workforce to pay )and I hope give pay rises), the whole point of an essentials range is that it has a low profit margin on it (or for some lines might be a loss leader), so when wholesale prices increase there is much less scope for the supermarket to absorb that themselves and it is more likely they will have to pass on the increase to customers than for more luxury branded ranges that were more profitable in the first place?

that seems obvious to me but if it’s wrong I would love to be corrected and understand why.
 
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If she had 'severe' anorexia she wouldn't have been having the periods to get pregnant. She does a disservice to every condition she ever talks about.
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Youve lost me there tenderstem
Absolutely correct. When you are malnourished your body simply stops making eggs, because it knows your body wouldn’t have the physical capacity to keep a baby alive and yourself. Lies upon lies.
 
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If she had 'severe' anorexia she wouldn't have been having the periods to get pregnant. She does a disservice to every condition she ever talks about.
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Youve lost me there tenderstem
COUGH. Sorry. But I was right. God knows how I’ve remembered that.
 
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I don't think we ever triangulated the poor sod beyond someone she was pretending was acting in some sort of security capacity for her to encourage the rage nans to dig deep.
We did. He was an underground (as in under the ground, not as in only the cool kids know about it) hydroponic farmer but now does something else with DATA.

Anyway, the relevant part (to Jack) is that he’s likely to be pretty minted.

I don’t want to post a pic of him, but if you saw a pic of him (plenty online) he looks literally fuck all like she facetuned him, to the point where he’s almost unrecognizable as the same person

Think less

And more

Lol @Nonah beat me to it far more succinctly!
 
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