Jack Monroe #523 Everything she does is pointless busywork that solves nothing

[lilykestrel]

Oh wow I had forgotten that dream interpretation books were a thing. Do people not want to interpret their dreams anymore or do we just Google it now?

*David Brent voice* you can still find 'em

(I used to work on the floor of a chain bookshop that had the woo section (*))

((*) No shade, I myself am an enjoyer of woo)

 

[L3moning]

Oh wow I had forgotten that dream interpretation books were a thing. Do people not want to interpret their dreams anymore or do we just Google it now?

There are many many websites dedicated to it.

 

[Emmapism]

Actually glad that Guest has been quiet. Meant a slow grunk over the last few days was possible!

I'm surprised she paid CCJ but hope that this encourages others to get money back from her when she doesn't fulfil her promises. Unfortunately for Jack, that's most of the time so this might cost her a bit.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I once got a dream interpretation book as a secret Santa gift. No idea who it was from of what I’d done to make them think that was something I’d actually like.

 

[Salmonshirt]

I’m quite bored at home and have an empty evening ahead of me so I could really do with a chaos tonight. I have tonic in the fridge just waiting for gin and a lovely curry defrosting so it would be a great combo.
Also - guess which Frau is off to celerytown next week?!
(Off topic but if anyone has any recommendations of places to stay within 1.5 hours of C Town itself for a couple of days then please let me know. Sorry mods)

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

Black dhal is a classic favourite that Dishoom is famous for. She’s an a if she’s been using black beans. What an absolute melt who clearly doesn’t understand food. She can easily get that dhal as well as we there is an abundance of it in the world food shops near to her and where she supposedly used to shop when she said she was in Westcliff area. What a wick she is.

FAR too early, sadly

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Presented without comment from me.

This means Jack Monroe listed themselves as an Oxfam Ambassador.

Same as she lists herself as an activist.
Same as she lists herself as a cook...

bleeping.. Ell. Oh. SLOPSUCKING. Ell

 

[Notmycat]

I bought a kindle version of Grifty kitchen when it came out as was interested to see what crsp lay ahead. I've just gone through it and made a list of all recipes in the book sections and also the Bag of Tricks section which probably counts as recipes in Guests book..

BREADS AND BREAKFAST
Courgette and cheese soda bread
Prune and pumpkin seed toast
Oaty soda bread
Get up and go muffins
Banana peel pancakes
French toast
Raspberry and lemon curd baked oats
Warm sunshine oats
Lemon and berry Dutch babies
Monster bums
Secret scrambled eggs
Pear and bacon porridge
Homemade muesli
Cinnamon crunch
Pear and cinnamon buns
Apple Bircher

LIGHT BITES
Radishes and other crunchy veg with a trio of dips
Marmite crumpets
Roasted roots soup
Pangrattato Pomodoro
Veg peel fritters
Cream of mushroom soup
Roasted courgette and red lentil soup
Chicken and cannellini soup
Carrot coconut and chilli soup
Chicken porridge with a poached egg
Radish soft cheese and lentil salad
Lemon sardines on toast

BEANS, PULSES AND LENTILS
Garlic bread ribollita
Veg peel fafafels
Red lentil and onion dip
Kidney bean and pineapple curry
Old rejuvenated bread with chickpeas and greens
Black pudding and lentil Ragu
Mandarin white bean and Greek cheeses salad
Lentil keema
Butterbean veg and stuffing stew

POTATOES
Refried roast potatoes with blue cheese
Basic potato salad
Potato parsley and anchovy salad
Instant moonshine mash with veg and bacon jumble
Lemon and rosemary roast potatoes
Patata ntomata
Easy potato and egg curry
Kolokithokefetedes

PASTA RICE AND OTHER GRAINS
Tomato bread and butter pasta
Salmon lemon pea and sweet corn pasta
Black and cheese
Sneaky veg and lentil Bolognese
Mushroom and blue cheese pasta
Tomato chilli and crab pasta sauce
Ratatouille
Pastitsio (Greek lasagna)
Chickpea chard and lemon pasta
Chickenestrone (La Zuppa Di Uno Sciocco)
Risotto with peas and lettuce
Pearl barley avgolemono
Mushroom and lentil barlotto

FROM THE SEA
Crab and coconut bisque
Fish finger katsu
Salt and vinegar sardine pasta
Crab rarebit
Sardinesca
Prawn cocktail with caramelized grapefruit
Fish finger pockets

FROM THE LAND
Roast chicken and coronation slaw
Fiery upside down pineapple chicken
Cheat n Sour chicken
Chicken in a creamy mushroom sauce
Pork herb and white bean meatballs
Quick sausage and stuffing bolognese
Toad and friends
Cannellini leek and sausage pasta
Sausage and chickpea curry
Spicy pork belly with prune chutney
Corned beef chilli
Humble sausage pie
Sausage bacon and many veg casserole

SWEET TREATS
Tinned peach drizzle cake
Chocolate prune pudding
Sticky lemon pudding
Bread and jam ice cream
Cornflake ice cream
Prune ice cream
Chocolate cherry cake
Pbj sandwich pudding
Chocolate orange thumbprints
Sticky ginger syrup cake
Microwave PBJ brownies
Black forest mug pudding
Tuppence lemondrops
Mincemeat bread pudding
Bits and pieces rocky road

BAG OF TRICKS
The sugar hack
Egg replacements
Cheat roasted garlic
DIY light cooking spray
Porpoise seasoning
Scrappy stock
Sardine stock
Crab stock
Chicken stock
Mushroom stock
Odds and sods gravy
Basic salad dressing
English dressing
Tinned fruit juice dressing
Herbstalk oil

Basic meat marinades (whitefish, chicken, pork belly, sausages, chicken livers)
Soffritto paste

Starting blocks
Fire starter blocks
Banana peel chili ketchup
Nomato sauce
Tomato sauce
Chip shop curry sauce
Basic mild curry sauce
Garlic jam
Traditional white sauce
Instant cheesy mash
Instant white sauce
Instant cheese sauce
Peach chutney
Pickled pink eggs
Instant hummus
Dustbin pickles
Snacky beans
Yogurt cheese (labneh)
---
If anyone would like to restart the Slopalong threads to cook these recipes. Tag me and I'll provide you with a recipe.

 

[appleskin]

I once got a dream interpretation book as a secret Santa gift. No idea who it was from of what I’d done to make them think that was something I’d actually like.

my OH got a cliff richard calendar so i assumed it was just silly gifts (my workplace never done them - but if they did and got a horrible person def would gift them a Jack monroe book!)

 

[overdueanadventure]

Do tell, what's the "sugar hack"?

 

[Notmycat]

Interesting that this is the final page of the digital book (late addition add on disclaimer) . WARNED
---

Do tell, what's the "sugar hack"? @overdueanadventure

 

[MavisBeacon]

Guest having to read in The Independent the criteria for being poor is the most middle class thing I've read in a long time And still people didn't cotton on back then that it was all bull.

Let's not forget, her child was apparently "in poverty" because Jack refused to ask her pillar-of-the-community parents or her "stuck by me all the way" babydaddy for help...

 

[Veronicaaa]

Interesting that this is the final page of the digital book (late addition add on disclaimer) . WARNED

Just what you want to see at the end of a recipe book - a health and safety warning

 

[lilykestrel]

Presented without comment from me.

View attachment 2275385

This means Jack Monroe listed themselves as an Oxfam Ambassador.

Same as she lists herself as an activist.
Same as she lists herself as a cook...

bleeping.. Ell. Oh. SLOPSUCKING. Ell

what a fine example of a customer service/admin person saying "yeah you're right, she's billy-bullshitting but I can't say that outright"

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

It’s a good theory but I think you’re probably giving her too much credit ninny.

I’m still convinced that she’s very fast and loose with her definition of a recipe.
I couldn’t sleep much so was grunking old threads and on one she suggested something particularly funny to a poor squig they wanted to know what to do with tinned chicken in white sauce as they were just having it with rice for tea, but wanted to ‘jazz it up’.
Her suggestion was curry powder and mango chutney (firstly duck off, guessing she was going for a coronation chicken vibe but swing and miss as per) but if they didn’t have the chutney then…..
Marmalade

Anyway back on point, to Jack that’s two separate recipes! Another job well done. (And I highly doubt either were tested)

Yes, I recall SisterBol being outraged by microwave mug cakes after I’d made her to go Waterstones to look at GK and one of her points was IIRC that instead of having the base and then “instead of chocolate chips you could add jam” style notes Jack instead had several of the same recipe repeated with slightly different add ins. So I think there is a lot of that in GK to make up numbers whereas with a decent book you’d think it was just a note at the end of the base recipe.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Presented without comment from me.

View attachment 2275385

This means Jack Monroe listed themselves as an Oxfam Ambassador.

Same as she lists herself as an activist.
Same as she lists herself as a cook...

bleeping.. Ell. Oh. SLOPSUCKING. Ell

Does anyone fancy getting in touch with Oxfam and double checking? It's a bit cheeky for Adrian to be sending over such an out of date bio that references a charity she last appeared to do any work with several years ago

 

[lilykestrel]

Interesting that this is the final page of the digital book (late addition add on disclaimer) . WARNED
---

I'm glad she specified sticking a clean finger in. I was planning on rootling my hands round in a bag of compost first and not washing them.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Does anyone fancy getting in touch with Oxfam and double checking? It's a bit cheeky for Adrian to be sending over such an out of date bio that references a charity she last appeared to do any work with several years ago

Done.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

How does it work when you're using a pseudonym though? I mean, RM says she's got all these bylines but I can only find a couple of opinion pieces and they credit 'Roadside Mum' or 'Louisa Britain'. Seems weird. Why be anonymous when you're pretending to be a journalist?

Some journalists use pseudonyms or even just “the secret X” names and RSMs stated reason for using one is that she’s had a previous abusive relationship and doesn’t want to be tracked down so it does make logical sense.

 

[Hold my beans]

Surely the disclaimer should be on the front page not the last? Reading it before you chop your thumb off might be helpful