Jack Monroe #523 Everything she does is pointless busywork that solves nothing

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I’m quite bored at home and have an empty evening ahead of me so I could really do with a chaos tonight. I have tonic in the fridge just waiting for gin and a lovely curry defrosting so it would be a great combo.
Also - guess which Frau is off to celerytown next week?!
(Off topic but if anyone has any recommendations of places to stay within 1.5 hours of C Town itself for a couple of days then please let me know. Sorry mods)
Feel free to ask over in the Food And Drink thread, because it’s really for everyone, and about anything, all our off-topic chat! X

 
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Am I a bit evil in that I'm considering making something from Grifty Kitchen for my SIL who is coming to stay next week. I've made stuff especially for her from Jack before, she has all the books bought by me over several years.

What she doesn't know is that I can't stand her really but when she comes back to where she came from I'm the only person she can stay with for several reasons (mainly due to her personality disorder and physical attacks) as I ignore all her BS. But her young kids deserve time with their grandparents so they have other grandchildren to stay at the same time so they can't put her up so she has to stay with me. Families you got to love them 😅
 
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I’m quite bored at home and have an empty evening ahead of me so I could really do with a chaos tonight. I have tonic in the fridge just waiting for gin and a lovely curry defrosting so it would be a great combo.
Also - guess which Frau is off to celerytown next week?!
(Off topic but if anyone has any recommendations of places to stay within 1.5 hours of C Town itself for a couple of days then please let me know. Sorry mods)
BiB: Glasgow 😃
53 minutes from Glasgow Queen Street to Edinburgh Waverley.
 
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How does it work when you're using a pseudonym though? I mean, RM says she's got all these bylines but I can only find a couple of opinion pieces and they credit 'Roadside Mum' or 'Louisa Britain'. Seems weird. Why be anonymous when you're pretending to be a journalist?
I guess the person to ask might be the Secret Barrister.
 
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I bought a kindle version of Grifty kitchen when it came out as was interested to see what crsp lay ahead. I've just gone through it and made a list of all recipes in the book sections and also the Bag of Tricks section which probably counts as recipes in Guests book..

BREADS AND BREAKFAST
Courgette and cheese soda bread
Prune and pumpkin seed toast
Oaty soda bread
Get up and go muffins
Banana peel pancakes
French toast
Raspberry and lemon curd baked oats
Warm sunshine oats
Lemon and berry Dutch babies
Monster bums
Secret scrambled eggs
Pear and bacon porridge
Homemade muesli
Cinnamon crunch
Pear and cinnamon buns
Apple Bircher

LIGHT BITES
Radishes and other crunchy veg with a trio of dips
Marmite crumpets
Roasted roots soup
Pangrattato Pomodoro
Veg peel fritters
Cream of mushroom soup
Roasted courgette and red lentil soup
Chicken and cannellini soup
Carrot coconut and chilli soup
Chicken porridge with a poached egg
Radish soft cheese and lentil salad
Lemon sardines on toast

BEANS, PULSES AND LENTILS
Garlic bread ribollita
Veg peel fafafels
Red lentil and onion dip
Kidney bean and pineapple curry
Old rejuvenated bread with chickpeas and greens
Black pudding and lentil Ragu
Mandarin white bean and Greek cheeses salad
Lentil keema
Butterbean veg and stuffing stew

POTATOES
Refried roast potatoes with blue cheese
Basic potato salad
Potato parsley and anchovy salad
Instant moonshine mash with veg and bacon jumble
Lemon and rosemary roast potatoes
Patata ntomata
Easy potato and egg curry
Kolokithokefetedes

PASTA RICE AND OTHER GRAINS
Tomato bread and butter pasta
Salmon lemon pea and sweet corn pasta
Black and cheese
Sneaky veg and lentil Bolognese
Mushroom and blue cheese pasta
Tomato chilli and crab pasta sauce
Ratatouille
Pastitsio (Greek lasagna)
Chickpea chard and lemon pasta
Chickenestrone (La Zuppa Di Uno Sciocco)
Risotto with peas and lettuce
Pearl barley avgolemono
Mushroom and lentil barlotto

FROM THE SEA
Crab and coconut bisque
Fish finger katsu
Salt and vinegar sardine pasta
Crab rarebit
Sardinesca
Prawn cocktail with caramelized grapefruit
Fish finger pockets

FROM THE LAND
Roast chicken and coronation slaw
Fiery upside down pineapple chicken
Cheat n Sour chicken
Chicken in a creamy mushroom sauce
Pork herb and white bean meatballs
Quick sausage and stuffing bolognese
Toad and friends
Cannellini leek and sausage pasta
Sausage and chickpea curry
Spicy pork belly with prune chutney
Corned beef chilli
Humble sausage pie
Sausage bacon and many veg casserole

SWEET TREATS
Tinned peach drizzle cake
Chocolate prune pudding
Sticky lemon pudding
Bread and jam ice cream
Cornflake ice cream
Prune ice cream
Chocolate cherry cake
Pbj sandwich pudding
Chocolate orange thumbprints
Sticky ginger syrup cake
Microwave PBJ brownies
Black forest mug pudding
Tuppence lemondrops
Mincemeat bread pudding
Bits and pieces rocky road

BAG OF TRICKS
The sugar hack
Egg replacements
Cheat roasted garlic
DIY light cooking spray
Porpoise seasoning
Scrappy stock
Sardine stock
Crab stock
Chicken stock
Mushroom stock
Odds and sods gravy
Basic salad dressing
English dressing
Tinned fruit juice dressing
Herbstalk oil

Basic meat marinades (whitefish, chicken, pork belly, sausages, chicken livers)
Soffritto paste

Starting blocks
Fire starter blocks
Banana peel chili ketchup
Nomato sauce
Tomato sauce
Chip shop curry sauce
Basic mild curry sauce
Garlic jam
Traditional white sauce
Instant cheesy mash
Instant white sauce
Instant cheese sauce
Peach chutney
Pickled pink eggs
Instant hummus
Dustbin pickles
Snacky beans
Yogurt cheese (labneh)
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If anyone would like to restart the Slopalong threads to cook these recipes. Tag me and I'll provide you with a recipe.
Was the instant cheesy mash instant mashed potato with dried cheese and powdered milk?
 
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I’m quite bored at home and have an empty evening ahead of me so I could really do with a chaos tonight. I have tonic in the fridge just waiting for gin and a lovely curry defrosting so it would be a great combo.
Also - guess which Frau is off to celerytown next week?!
(Off topic but if anyone has any recommendations of places to stay within 1.5 hours of C Town itself for a couple of days then please let me know. Sorry mods)
Gullane, North Berwick, or Dunbar are all nice seaside towns in different ways
 
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@Notmycat thanks for writing them out. Most sound like they’d be nice if only they weren’t Jack recipes!

Btw another frau here 🙋‍♀️ whose kindly (deluded) parents paid for a poem to be included in an anthology and who then bought the book. The book was Autumn Anthology. I've still got it somewhere.
Same and my poem was about snakes! ⭕
 
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That's crappy journalism on the part of Positive News. I'd write them back and ask why they present her as Ambassador for that organization when she apparently hasn't done anything for them for several years. If I were feeling extra mean I might ask if they believe something is true just because it's posted on a website.

Somewhat related, I had a good laugh yesterday at all the squigs responding to Sara Cox, mithering on about how terrible it was that these cruel people follow guest around online and criticize anyone who supports her. Yet they pop up like weeds to defend anyone who says a nice thing about guest. Pot, kettle, etc.
 
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I bought a kindle version of Grifty kitchen when it came out as was interested to see what crsp lay ahead. I've just gone through it and made a list of all recipes in the book sections and also the Bag of Tricks section which probably counts as recipes in Guests book..

BREADS AND BREAKFAST
Courgette and cheese soda bread
Prune and pumpkin seed toast
Oaty soda bread
Get up and go muffins
Banana peel pancakes
French toast
Raspberry and lemon curd baked oats
Warm sunshine oats
Lemon and berry Dutch babies
Monster bums
Secret scrambled eggs
Pear and bacon porridge
Homemade muesli
Cinnamon crunch
Pear and cinnamon buns
Apple Bircher

LIGHT BITES
Radishes and other crunchy veg with a trio of dips
Marmite crumpets
Roasted roots soup
Pangrattato Pomodoro
Veg peel fritters
Cream of mushroom soup
Roasted courgette and red lentil soup
Chicken and cannellini soup
Carrot coconut and chilli soup
Chicken porridge with a poached egg
Radish soft cheese and lentil salad
Lemon sardines on toast

BEANS, PULSES AND LENTILS
Garlic bread ribollita
Veg peel fafafels
Red lentil and onion dip
Kidney bean and pineapple curry
Old rejuvenated bread with chickpeas and greens
Black pudding and lentil Ragu
Mandarin white bean and Greek cheeses salad
Lentil keema
Butterbean veg and stuffing stew

POTATOES
Refried roast potatoes with blue cheese
Basic potato salad
Potato parsley and anchovy salad
Instant moonshine mash with veg and bacon jumble
Lemon and rosemary roast potatoes
Patata ntomata
Easy potato and egg curry
Kolokithokefetedes

PASTA RICE AND OTHER GRAINS
Tomato bread and butter pasta
Salmon lemon pea and sweet corn pasta
Black and cheese
Sneaky veg and lentil Bolognese
Mushroom and blue cheese pasta
Tomato chilli and crab pasta sauce
Ratatouille
Pastitsio (Greek lasagna)
Chickpea chard and lemon pasta
Chickenestrone (La Zuppa Di Uno Sciocco)
Risotto with peas and lettuce
Pearl barley avgolemono
Mushroom and lentil barlotto

FROM THE SEA
Crab and coconut bisque
Fish finger katsu
Salt and vinegar sardine pasta
Crab rarebit
Sardinesca
Prawn cocktail with caramelized grapefruit
Fish finger pockets

FROM THE LAND
Roast chicken and coronation slaw
Fiery upside down pineapple chicken
Cheat n Sour chicken
Chicken in a creamy mushroom sauce
Pork herb and white bean meatballs
Quick sausage and stuffing bolognese
Toad and friends
Cannellini leek and sausage pasta
Sausage and chickpea curry
Spicy pork belly with prune chutney
Corned beef chilli
Humble sausage pie
Sausage bacon and many veg casserole

SWEET TREATS
Tinned peach drizzle cake
Chocolate prune pudding
Sticky lemon pudding
Bread and jam ice cream
Cornflake ice cream
Prune ice cream
Chocolate cherry cake
Pbj sandwich pudding
Chocolate orange thumbprints
Sticky ginger syrup cake
Microwave PBJ brownies
Black forest mug pudding
Tuppence lemondrops
Mincemeat bread pudding
Bits and pieces rocky road

BAG OF TRICKS
The sugar hack
Egg replacements
Cheat roasted garlic
DIY light cooking spray
Porpoise seasoning
Scrappy stock
Sardine stock
Crab stock
Chicken stock
Mushroom stock
Odds and sods gravy
Basic salad dressing
English dressing
Tinned fruit juice dressing
Herbstalk oil

Basic meat marinades (whitefish, chicken, pork belly, sausages, chicken livers)
Soffritto paste

Starting blocks
Fire starter blocks
Banana peel chili ketchup
Nomato sauce
Tomato sauce
Chip shop curry sauce
Basic mild curry sauce
Garlic jam
Traditional white sauce
Instant cheesy mash
Instant white sauce
Instant cheese sauce
Peach chutney
Pickled pink eggs
Instant hummus
Dustbin pickles
Snacky beans
Yogurt cheese (labneh)
---
If anyone would like to restart the Slopalong threads to cook these recipes. Tag me and I'll provide you with a recipe.
Instant hummus? Instant hummus? You just blend chickpeas etc I- how can it be more instant? Just buy a tub of it?


Oh Christ go on then what’s she on about there please? 🤦🏼‍♀️
 
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45g of mash is in no way a portion, even as "a side dish", most recipes I've seen say at least 3 times that.

And also "a couple of stock cubes" will make about a litre of stock if you use them as the packet says. Split up as Jack suggests I suspect the result would taste like strong mildly cheesey stock
 
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Does anyone fancy getting in touch with Oxfam and double checking? It's a bit cheeky for Adrian to be sending over such an out of date bio that references a charity she last appeared to do any work with several years ago
It would be great if someone could point out the most recent bit of campaigning or ambassadorial work guest did for Oxfam.
Anything. One mention anywhere within the last three years.
No 'behind the scenes' balls as that is not campaigning.
I'm also guessing Oxfam has never been one of the secret charities she donates other people's money to. (Not saying it should be - just as an active ambassador for them it might be).
 
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Well that’s A Mega porkie, icing sugar contains anti caking agent, so wrong AGAIN guest
Which is more thrifty, if you don't have a blender or similar appliance? (which many folks don't)

A) buy a blender, so you can blitz a tiny amount of sugar on the rare occasion you need a different sugar than what you have on hand

B) buy the other kind of sugar

Answers on a postcard only c/o Adrian Agent.
 
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Her following count on the hellsite has gone down by 600 since last week. Bless her. Let's all say a little prayer ... :)
 
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How is that instant mash recipe even a recipe? It’s just the instructions on how to make packet instant mash? She charged good money for this tit.
 
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How is that instant mash recipe even a recipe? It’s just the instructions on how to make packet instant mash? She charged good money for this tit.
BIB. Funnily enough that wasn't the strapline the publishers went with in the end.
Though they bloody well should have done.
Charlatans the lots of them.
 
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Does anyone fancy getting in touch with Oxfam and double checking? It's a bit cheeky for Adrian to be sending over such an out of date bio that references a charity she last appeared to do any work with several years ago
I emailed them towards the end of last year, and asked for a list of their current ambassadors. They responded with a "you can find an up to date list on our website at https://www.oxfamamerica.org/about-us/ambassadors/", despite that clearly being for Oxfam America and not actually being a complete list (and, yes, I had definitely emailed Oxfam GB).

I didn't take it any further as it was such a useless answer that doing any more seemed pointless.

There are only three articles which mention Oxfam ambassadors in the UK website, one of which says:

Screenshot from 2023-06-30 17-53-05.png

(source: https://www.oxfam.org.uk/media/pres...to-help-raise-awareness-about-climate-change/)

If anyone fancies asking them again, it might be worth marking your message for the attention of the "Celebrity and Ambassador Team" in the hope of getting a more useful answer.
 
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