Jack Monroe #523 Everything she does is pointless busywork that solves nothing

[Sensible Susan]

In fairness to guest, when she posts tit like this, she’s bleeping hilarious.

Spoiler

View attachment 2281603View attachment 2281604View attachment 2281605View attachment 2281606View attachment 2281607View attachment 2281615View attachment 2281616View attachment 2281611View attachment 2281623View attachment 2281609View attachment 2281617View attachment 2281629View attachment 2281625

Christ, that poem! Poundshop version of the fabulous John Cooper-Clarke

 

[I'm not actually here]

Christ, that poem! Poundshop version of the fabulous John Cooper-Clarke

Is there a PennyShop?!

Welcome you lovely new ninnies! Wiki is pink Button up the top in case you have missed it!

 

[KnackeredKneckbeard]

Oh God, Rage Naan is a brilliant username (sorry, I'm a slow reader)
All we need is a Knickerless Kneckbeard now.

I nearly did "knickerless" then opted for this username

Noobie here. Thank you so much, it's great to be here. Have grunked most of the JM threads since last July and it's been laughter/fizzing & hooting. I'm honoured to be in such esteemed company. I love the slopalong threads and to all of you who braved making the slops I doff my hat (not a pigskin Stetson).

Go well pals

 

[noweverythingsucks]

am regretting my choice of username already...

Hello, yet another lurker etc.

I'm particularly fascinated by the whole patreon aspect of all of this. I don't know if this was discussed at the time - does anyone remember the company that apparently offered to help Jack fulfil all her outstanding patreon rewards for free a little while ago, which she apparently never responded to? This was one I couldn't get my head around. Imagine worrying about this for literal years, being offered a get out, and just completely ignoring it.

maybe my username is appropriate after all

If you're going to have a rage naan make sure you get it from a little known independent restaurant like Dishoom.

Great name BTW.
---

Christ, that poem! Poundshop version of the fabulous John Cooper-Clarke

I'm raging about those consultants getting free cups of tea

 

[MurielSnark]

Planning on enjoying a rage naan with a cheeky Diane Abbott's mojito later

 

[Sensible Susan]

Her poetry reminds me of a girl at a Summer playscheme who read her own poetry out loud to a small group of fawning hangers on every lunchtime. Being one of the adult supervisors I had to cram the corned beef and tomato sandwich down my gob to stifle the sniggers.
Teenage angst is fine. Bad poetry is often hilarious.

She ain't no John Cooper Clarke.

Soz didn't see this, mentioned JCC further down! Great minds eh

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Thank you so much

this makes me irrationally angry, like a flatbread might be if she'd made it

What a lovely welcome to the newbiez it would be if BIB were to be the thread title

 

[House of Carbonara]

In fairness to guest, when she posts tit like this, she’s bleeping hilarious.

Spoiler

View attachment 2281603View attachment 2281604View attachment 2281605View attachment 2281606View attachment 2281607View attachment 2281615View attachment 2281616View attachment 2281611View attachment 2281623View attachment 2281609View attachment 2281617View attachment 2281629View attachment 2281625

The 'putting the sewing down' Victorian guest will never not be funny.
You maverick modern Shakespeare/Philip Larkin you.

 

[Dr.CM]

I'm baffled as to what the efficiently saved police horses is about in that dire diatribe but you know what, nevamind it's not worth it

 

[Jelly Bean]

Pity guest isn't around on twitter. 30p Lee and Lozza have turned on each other (not over guest ). She must be itching to interfere.

(Btw it would not surprise me in the slightest if Elon bans locked accounts).

 

[KnackeredKneckbeard]

Monroe Backstory

I read her HH2 then read HH1 and realised HH2 was a copy/pasta of HH1, few words/sentences changed interchangeable and thought "you lazy mare, you couldn't write a new blog post" so googled her and found myself here. That HH2 post made the scales fall from my eyes. Scammer

 

[House of Carbonara]

Picturing Geets in a bonnet and those flip flops

Akshually, picturing Geetbo saying - if hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I'll end you.
Nathan Fillion (), Firefly - for the not needs among us.

 

[noweverythingsucks]

I'm trying to imagine an actually honest online dating profile for our plucky heroine.

"Just on the small side of average height, born and bred Southender. Bisexual but say les for the street-cred, love a bit of D though, especially as a side to burgers & chips. Recognisable by cheap tattoos which are only in places where visible to the maximum amount of people. Can't cook for tit but like messing about with ridiculous combinations in the kitchen anyway - probably a good person to date if you're hoping those few stubborn last lbs! Come with one dog, one cat and one kid, all of whom I'm hopelessly ill-equipped to care for (luckily I have a loyal family and baby-daddy nearby to pick up the slack). Died-in-the-wool Leftie, even though my entire extended family are legacy landlords. Like screaming at the tv when QT is on. You probably won't recognise me unless you suffer from an all-encompassing Twitter addiction. Neuro-diversity diagnosed entirely by myself after following the #adhdismysuperpower hashtag for 9 minutes. Can't hold my drink so pretend to be an alcoholic. Can't maintain friendships so like to spend my time ghouling in AA meetings (this is also rich source material mining for my side hustle as a journalist which I've somehow managed to get paid for!) Boys in scrubs or other (highly-paid) NHS staff get to jump the queue as this is good for my lefty credentials, but don't fret - independently wealthy playboy types are also cool! Always free Tuesday nights, know a lot of the local Albanians #IYKYK

There's no way she would date someone from the NHS, even those who aren't skint won't have the time to pander to her. She would happily imply she does though - surprised she hasn't done that yet.

 

[Saltfish84]

I wish I’d put more thought into my username but I was so eager to get on here and share my insipid opinions on guest that I went for this…

I’ll never get name-checked snark on Twitter with this username

 

[Yer_wha?!]

What a lovely grunk I've just had! Great to see all the new members of the canal, even with Jackie behind her locked account. Welcome one and all, when I joined, I really felt like I'd found my tribe.

Best thing about guest's current silent strop is that people are posting screenshots of her scampering and scurrying greatest hits- always good for a laugh!

 

[LadyGarden]

Hi Frauen.

I'm not new, just been missing in action for a while. The lack of comeuppance for the puppy brained pixie was too frustrating to endure so I ducked off for a while. I was also suffering from PTSD after making the Creamy Crabby Pasta in the Slopalong

I see that nothing has changed, she's still a grasping twit living in a bungamansion by the sea. Encouraging to see a gradual drop in her Patreon but a shame it isn't spiralling off a cliff edge.

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

 

[KnackeredKneckbeard]

View attachment 2281977

 

[Yer_wha?!]

There's no way she would date someone from the NHS, even those who aren't skint won't have the time to pander to her. She would happily imply she does though - surprised she hasn't done that yet.

That's all she would be after, isn't it? Medical validation. An old mate of mine from my uni days moved into a flat who's previous tenant appeared to have been a medical student- they left some books behind. I swear she started at 'A' and had self diagnosed herself with most ailments up to 'G' in the space of a term

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Christ, that poem! Poundshop version of the fabulous John Cooper-Clarke

How can you be so CRUEL? Don’t you know painstakingly copied (by the light of the window) poetry SAVED HER?

Wanker.