Twitter really is her life, isn't it? She lives for validation via it. I don't see Mom breadcrumbing a new OH or bragging about some dubious achievement age 14. I also don't see her dropping in non subtle hints about money every other bloody tweet (although Mom is by no means blameless in this tit show). Most of the stuff tweeted now I don't even believe as it's all so contradictory.
Jack Monroe #498 Bootlickcook
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It's mortifying.
Also the fact she keeps reaching into her distant past for a sense of achievement is interesting. Almost as if she knows all the arse-licking and crony awards are all built on lies.
Back in the dial-up days, seeing as my 'best friend' for BT Friends & Family phone numbers used to be my internet provider I'll give guest a pass on that
Mind you, I never found myself gently, deliciously falling in love with Demon so yeah, she's still a twit.
Being obnoxious! What a surprise
.I don't really understand it, I just know I do it!
It's a ND thing. I've always done it and people who know me are used to it but to strangers It's odd. When I was younger I worked in a pub for a bit and a drunk bloke tried to punch me because he thought I was taking the piss out of his northern accent.
It's almost comforting, I don't know if that makes sense! If I meet someone with an accent I have to consciously try to keep my London accent which often makes me sound like I'm trying to speak with a 'telephone voice' and that can be annoying. It's really uncomfortable, it's like I'm fighting against my own brain.
Not once but twice she begged money for that
This translates as ‘I watched the Queens Gambit and realised that could have been me but it isn’t and how dare they not make a Netflix drama about me and how I saved the poors and defeated THAT MAN’. I did enjoy the drama on This Morning with the pasta and the hut with Eamon Holmes and I do think her life could be turned into a Netflix special, but not because of her specially gifted Chess ability.How strangeAs recently as February guest and SB were playing chess - yet daily-visiting best friend did not see this and wasn't aware of it. And didn't read guest's twitter to discover her child prodigy skillz.
(thanks to @VeniVidiVicki for ss)
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Guest is literally looking round the room for things to tweet about at this point. Chess set catches her eye: let's wheel out a variation on the most boring chess anecdote imaginable. What a sad lonely life.
Her chess pal is probably some weirdo she found online. In fact, HMHB knew this would happen so they wrote a song in anticipation way back in 2008. 
(P.S. Let's not argue amongst ourselves. We Mavens need to stick together)
(P.S. Let's not argue amongst ourselves. We Mavens need to stick together)
That Ash Sarkor woman is doing an impressive grift for her wedding. She will be needing a thread on here if it is successful.
Regarding chess Jack she is so full of crap, how can she forget herself so much,
Regarding chess Jack she is so full of crap, how can she forget herself so much,
Andguest has truly entered her Live, Laugh, Deglove era
I totally missed Jack referring to her chess-playing best friend as he. I'll cross Linda off my (non-existent) list.
I bet she's wishing now that she never turned down that 7-figure offer from the Wolf of Wall Street producers to bring the story of her life to screen.
Hello ninnies! Another month, another Patreon update - apols for the delay had a bit of work goss to catch up on and you know how it is lol. Behind a cut as per:
Topline: Jack Monroe opened May 2023 with 428 paying Patreon subscribers. Where she hides the revenue she takes we've had to estimate this to be worth £5.3k, using Olia Hercules' average per subscriber fee of £14.12 and subtracting worst case platform fees of 12%. We once again implore Jack to unhide her revenue so we can accurately report on this!
Jack is down 6.1% month on month, losing 32 subs and gaining just 4 in month, netting off at a loss of 28 subscribers. This is the 8th consecutive month of losses, and has been pointed out by our wise mavens as one of the worst she's had - maybe it was the Tina Turner guest pics that did it? Optimistic that we'll see even higher losses in June 2023 opening just as there's 3 bank hols in this month so maybe ppl will review their bank statements a bit more!
On Nigella - she's still 1.8 * pre-Nigella promo, but if you look at the first row for Feb 2021 when our records began she was at 346 paying subs, she's only at 1.2 * that level. This is a super slow, gentle, soft cancellation but rest assured it's happening. Those 2 hours spent pretending to be a chess genius could have been better spent trying to retain some of ur passive income hun!
Please let me know if you have any questions/suggestions. And thank you for reading this - I do really appreciate it cos this is a fun little project.
Jack is down 6.1% month on month, losing 32 subs and gaining just 4 in month, netting off at a loss of 28 subscribers. This is the 8th consecutive month of losses, and has been pointed out by our wise mavens as one of the worst she's had - maybe it was the Tina Turner guest pics that did it? Optimistic that we'll see even higher losses in June 2023 opening just as there's 3 bank hols in this month so maybe ppl will review their bank statements a bit more!
On Nigella - she's still 1.8 * pre-Nigella promo, but if you look at the first row for Feb 2021 when our records began she was at 346 paying subs, she's only at 1.2 * that level. This is a super slow, gentle, soft cancellation but rest assured it's happening. Those 2 hours spent pretending to be a chess genius could have been better spent trying to retain some of ur passive income hun!
Please let me know if you have any questions/suggestions. And thank you for reading this - I do really appreciate it cos this is a fun little project.
In the 90s BT did a competition and the winner could go on holiday with their 'Friends and Family'Back in the dial-up days, seeing as my 'best friend' for BT Friends & Family phone numbers used to be my internet provider I'll give guest a pass on that
Mind you, I never found myself gently, deliciously falling in love with Demon so yeah, she's still a twit.
For younger fraus and those abroad the 'F and F' was a scheme by BT (the phone company) that you could register the 10 numbers you called the most and get a discount (or not be charged at all)
They quickly dropped the competition because it became apparent that in everyone's FF list were local takeaway numbers, doctors and Kids' schools.
That would be one hell of a holiday.
There's no fraud or crime as she made a wishy washy post and directed people to her usual donation sources. Nothing specific about using it for legal fees either in the request or the actual pages where people gave.
There's lots of personal expenses and loss of earnings someone freelance would encounter with a case. She could just say she spent weeks on it investigating it and money went on loss of earnings, which of course is a moot point as it isn't going anywhere at all.
Same with patreon, you pay your money to get access to the private posts. The other stuff is seen as a wish list, not a legal obligation. You pay money to someone on sites like patreon or Kickstarter and you accept the risks.
At least twice, dear heart.
I'm almost certain there was a third beg shortly before or after HH2 but I can't find it.
Though if the "dozen engineers and specialists" she had on the case couldn't fix the bleeping thing, she should probably just give up.
My OH has recently got right back into playing chess with one of his work mates. 
he’s playing it any spare moment and watching videos to improve. Just skews him is he her new beau???
he’s playing it any spare moment and watching videos to improve. Just skews him is he her new beau??? A dozen engineers, my non-meditteranean arse. Number of times she used Squarespace or Wordpress’s live chat after she ballsed something up more like.
Sorry if already coveted, but have we picked up on guest going off on another jolly (whether Chessney is just a "friend" or something more, idgaf) without her son? The only time that poor kid ever gets to go anywhere is when his dad organises it. I know we all suspect it's because he doesn't actually live with guest and she isn't allowed unsupervised contact after the past couple of years but it makes it even more grotesque that she's posted multiple Twitter screeds about grand plans to take SB everywhere 
making memories and none of it has materialised.
making memories and none of it has materialised.- Status