Jack Monroe #498 Bootlickcook

[houseofhoop]

Lol just started to watch Ariel’s video

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Down from 460

 

[FrumpyCat]

The girl in the blue suit is annoying me immensely. I have no idea who she is, but I just know she’s going to be offended by EVERYTHING.

I assumed they had come straight from work and hadn't had a chance to change out of their scrubs.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Down from 460

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Do you think she gets a notification every time a card payment fails or a subscriber hits that "unsubscribe" button? Imagine, every time her email pings, it's notification of yet another reduction in her income during a cost of living crisis.

And we know she reads here, and we've given her loads of advice on how she can rescue this patreon and make it work for both her and her subscribers so she provides what they're paying for, but no. It's, IMHO, a symptom of how she's stuck in perpetual adolescent resentment, only instead of refusing to tidy her room and take the bins out, she's refusing to provide the rewards that people are entitled to expect in exchange for the money they send her every month.

I bet she hasn't put aside any of the annual payments so she ony spends 1/12th of it to smooth her income over the year, either.

 

[skronkywildcat]

Linda looks like she’s been sent from central casting to play an Irish uncle.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Who are these people? They look like they're on a naughties club night with Mr Blobby as their dodgy promoter.

I can't get over how dodgy Big L looks in every single photo I've seen of her, it's hilarious. Absolutely wouldn't duck with her.

Also logging onto the work wifi here takes you to 'guest.placeiworkfor.org.uk' so I'm going to have to tell IT they've been WARNED.

Eta: Big L puts me in mind of Big Mandy from This Country, now I think about it.

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Thinking of Jack, with all the spare time on her hands puts me in mind of the naughties TV show "Faking It" - Intrepid volunteers are plucked from their natural habitat and given four weeks to master a skill - which if I remember most of the contestants on it did a reasonable job of picking up their new skill; I can only conclude she has no interest in food or cookery whatsoever to have gained no skill in her over TEN YEARS of Faking It. But then what the hell is getting her out of bed on a daily basis? her "lights on" days?

And another thing: when she was first wanging on about quiches with her fake reported convo with SB "One of these nine quiches, probably" for some reason I imagined that she'd been trying out different fillings etc etc for nine variants. I never imagined that she would proudly boast about making NINE vol au vent sized quiches as if it were some epic undertaking that had trashed the entire kitchen (of which we only see six).

This is the thing: imagine you are a cook, you exist completely online in terms of your work, all bloggers/instagrammers/online personalities know content is king and lament social media is set up to keep them on the treadmill to stay relevant. Look at fellow grifter Mrs Hinch for example, she had a new roof put on her mansion recently and milked that for every last drop of boring rit 'content' she possibly could.

So how is a cook dependent on online engagement cooking 9 quiches and taking no pictures, just tweeting an anecdote that makes the majority of readers roll their eyes? She dreamt up this conversation whilst picking her a in the hammock, clearly. Anyone with a thimble of gumption would have documented the 9 quiches to the Nth degree and rinsed every last drop of content out of it.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Lads, I missed THE END origin story, can someone shed light? My guess is it came from a neckbeard/Nazi granny defending guest over on hellsite…?
Thankyou in advance to anyone who can help.

Even better. It came from Savior of the Slopgrifter Linda.

(dear @Sideboard Bob posted it). Start here though and then read the next 6-7 posts because there was more than one indignant message defending her pet.

Jack Monroe #493 Dame Kelly Holmes, guest and Emeli Sande seen attending "Tina - The Tina Turner Musical"

Just remembering when Linda Riley defended Jack a while ago with a post along the lines of 'LEAVE JACK ALONE 😡😡😡' as though we had all stumbled into a 13 year old's MySpace page. YEAH!

tattle.life

 

[MooBelle]

I zoomed in to see what her t shirt says and I swear it’s something about gay miners. Couldn’t deduce more than that, because either the res isn’t good enough or my eyes aren’t good enough (I’m EXHAUSTED), but swear down it’s gay miner related. Glad to see people brandishing their impeccable working class credentials though, wonder if she’s the director for the upcoming Linda Riley doco

I *think* it has something to do with the solidarity between the Welsh miners and the setting up of Pride in London. The two groups helped each other in the 80s.
The film 'Pride' is about this.

 

[Claymorekick]

Am I the only one who keeps thinking the thread title is Bootlickcock??

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Bootlickcrook is another excellent variant.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Now I’m no social media expert but a 0.1% conversion rate of views to likes is… not great, right?

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Oh yeah I’d eat Jack’s quiche (lol) before I watched Naked Attraction, but a stunner regardless.

I read the comments for the lols, and deary deary me... Embarrassing doesn't even begin to cover it, but it *is* funny. I think guest's cooking 'career' is truly over.

 

[Claret]

Down from 460

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She's on an inexorable arc of continual decline and I'm loving it. Not because I'm a malicious sort but because it's long overdue and richly deserved

Hardly anybody buys her books now, hardly anybody platforms her, the awards have dried up....to the extent that even the sycophantic Diva, headed up by her mate can't bring themselves to give her a gong, and the patreon numbers head south every month

Her decline will be like the death of a thousand cuts, and every cut will wound the raging narcissist that Monroe is. She will hate not being centre stage, and being referred to as "guest" will have enraged her, she is so thin skinned that any criticism or slight will wound her fragile ego

The only way is down for her now. She's all but finished, she might pop up every now and again in places that should know better but to all intents and purposes she's done, and deep down she knows she's done too.

 

[lilykestrel]

Do you think she gets a notification every time a card payment fails or a subscriber hits that "unsubscribe" button? Imagine, every time her email pings, it's notification of yet another reduction in her income during a cost of living crisis.

And we know she reads here, and we've given her loads of advice on how she can rescue this patreon and make it work for both her and her subscribers so she provides what they're paying for, but no. It's, IMHO, a symptom of how she's stuck in perpetual adolescent resentment, only instead of refusing to tidy her room and take the bins out, she's refusing to provide the rewards that people are entitled to expect in exchange for the money they send her every month.

I bet she hasn't put aside any of the annual payments so she ony spends 1/12th of it to smooth her income over the year, either.

I once unsubbed from a £3 tier Patreon and promptly got a message from the creator on the beg asking if I could resub at £1 a month as they were struggling and every little helps. So unless they were very attentive to their subscriber totals and IDs (which I don't think would be possible as its not huge but also not Tony (*), I'm guessing there is a notification process. Though of course Jack ignores the inbox.

ETA (*) tiny not Tony but leaving that in cos it made me larf

 

[Veronicaaa]

Flashback to almost 3 years ago #whatistime https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-56-i-jack-monroe.7961/page-48#post-1995043

Will Jack reappear in a dark pit of depression or will she be living her best life? Either way, I'm sure she'll share another hilarious anecdote eg

Friend: will you put the bins out

Jack: Did it last night

Friend: Oh my goodness, what are you like?

Jack: I'm a maverick, a siren, a true original

Friend: That's my girl

--------

She seems to have deleted that mad 'I love looking like death' tweet btw.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

I *think* it has something to do with the solidarity between the Welsh miners and the setting up of Pride in London. The two groups helped each other in the 80s.
The film 'Pride' is about this.

Oooh, that sounds like the sort of film I will actually bother to watch, thank you bless the canal, I do genuinely learn something new most times I mither here x

my favourite film about miners is always going to be the comic strip presents The Strike (which is still a decent satire today because of its observations re media classes’ representation of labour movements and its observations on how US perspectives skew how UK history is viewed). Peter Richardson playing Al Pacino playing Arthur Scargill is a stupidly funny concept, and Robbie Coltrane as greasy arrogant Hollywood exec is absolute chef’s kiss.

 

[houseofhoop]

Lol just started to watch Ariel’s video

She’s an incredibly intelligent interesting and articulate person (guest could never). And so interesting to read the back story behind her comments.
Everything guest wants to be but isn’t.
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Oooh, that sounds like the sort of film I will actually bother to watch, thank you bless the canal, I do genuinely learn something new most times I mither here x

my favourite film about miners is always going to be the comic strip presents The Strike (which is still a decent satire today because of its observations re media classes’ representation of labour movements and its observations on how US perspectives skew how UK history is viewed). Peter Richardson playing Al Pacino playing Arthur Scargill is a stupidly funny concept, and Robbie Coltrane as greasy arrogant Hollywood exec is absolute chef’s kiss.

It’s one of my favourite films. It was on iPlayer some months ago so may still be there

 

[Mr Jim]

I *think* it has something to do with the solidarity between the Welsh miners and the setting up of Pride in London. The two groups helped each other in the 80s.
The film 'Pride' is about this.

Pits and Perverts: Lesbians & Gay Men Support The Miners (LGSM) 1984/8

Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) is an activist group that formed in solidarity with the striking miners in 1984. Mark Ashton, one of the founders, saw the struggle of the miners as the same faced by gay people fighting for their rights against a government that would not listen. LGSM...

thebookishtype.co.uk

It’s this T-shirt (I love that film)

 

[Seaford Haggington]

She seems to have deleted that mad 'I love looking like death' tweet btw.

That tweet was something only someone who woke up still drunk from the night before could compose.

 

[I'm not actually here]

Anybody want to bet the timeline cleanse (aka mass delete) is because her parents wanted to see the like from The Royal Family account? Makes me think that they don't monitor her twitter at all. And secondly, that she doesn't give a fk what 500k people see of her dark side, but still wants to impress her old folks. Which means there is something in it for her keeping them sweet.(eta ignorant)