Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[StatusWoe]

It’s the 40 squid wallpaper, how can anybody with an ounce of common think she is short of funds

I'm thinking of all those times supportive journalists (and Jack herself) have criticised Tattlers for poring over the minutiae of her life and pulling her up on the smallest mistakes. I don't think they realise that these little things, e.g. the cost of wallpaper, are significant because they're proving a much larger point; in this case, that she's pretending to be poor while living in a comfortable house with masses of clothes, furniture etc. And that she's using her substantial Patreon donations to buy expensive crap that she doesn't need.

 

[Falkor]

I see she is still behaving. Good girl pet. You never know that man might let you have a goat playing kitchens for him soon. You might get to shred the lettuce with serated sissors to make it fancy.

That was an epic point for your spacebar to decide to have a day off, tenderstem.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Fuck me, she's a basic boring bitch isn't she?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

 

[Foxvint]

I think Jack Hacks are meant to be evidence of an enthusiastic Polyanna brain brimming over with creativity when what they actually are is a sad sack Old Maid trying to fill her lonely days.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Completely off topic but did anyone see Poppy O'Toole on Saturday Kitchen last weekend say "quim" four times, genuinely without a clue what it meant?!

Yes, bless her. Poor Poppy has clearly never read a Sarah Waters novel.
But clearly, she's far too busy providing quality potato content for her millions of followers on the tiktok rather than pretending to read eleventy books a week.

Makes you think.

 

[Foxvint]

Have you noticed how most of the comments club are called Alan, Susan, Gordon etc? She's some sort of retiree little After 8 mint.

 

[Celeste90]

Oh don't, I'm still cringing about using the word ostensibly incorrectly at work over two years ago

You think thats bad, I once called a colleague a nonce (replace p with n!) when what I actually meant to call him was a numpty

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Why lie about something so trivial though? She's 35 and still making up fantasies like a five year old would do. I really don't understand.

She's trapped in this persona, the Angel of The Povs. She knows she should be on top of her brief and able to say "this cheap thing is a brilliant dupe for XYZ," but because she doesn't know anything about anything, she picks random cheap X, random expensive Y, and doesn't know or care that X doesn't behave anything like Y because they aren't even vaguely similar.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

This really concerns me. I don’t know why they used her for this piece. If they (Adrian?) have started selling her as a Rent A Honk expert in the weight / nutrition area it won’t be long before she starts throwing around inaccurate information as hard facts, which could do considerable damage. Much as she does for every other bloody thing really, but this is jangling an alarm for me.

Yes this is not good, why on earth wouldn’t the media go to any of the actual professional nutrition associations and societies, you know, the ones where people actually have to know what the fuck they’re on about before they’re allowed to be members and speak in the media about topics? The more the interminable Jack Monroe circus drags on, the more I lose whatever vestiges of respect I had for media outlets. Why her? - she’s not an expert on obesity or nutrition, she certainly isn’t an expert in food, and she’s not the slightest bit a medic or biologist. Cannot imagine coming up with a people wishlist for a discussion about weight and pharmacological stuff that would include Jack Monroe. Madness.

 

[stunrw]

Just giggling to myself as I googled it too and saw a recipe for fotzelschnitte

which translates at cunt cuts

Fotzelschnitte - Rezepte | fooby.ch

Never let it be said that our language isnt a minefield

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Y'all talking about fancy cheeses, Jack talking about fancy cheeses, dang it all.. my idea of fancy cheese is buying Cathedral City Red leicester instead of Tesco's Creamfields... Which I swear would bounce if I dropped it... #RubberyCheeseOnMyPovSlop

 

[MavisBeacon]

Yep. Jack has opened the massive pile of unopened mail at least three times.

24th October 2020
View attachment 2015506

10th February 2021
View attachment 2015508
View attachment 2015509

21st June 2022
View attachment 2015511

I am pretty sure she said her most recent ex, Mr OH, went through them all with her too

It's so offensive she refers to herself as being "destitute" and the "long hangover of destitution". You had a tough year or so, with your family and your son's dad right there the whole time.

 

[Foxvint]

Absolutely gross that she's gonna be talking about 'food and social justice' where her only experience is boo hoo I was on benefits very briefly 10 years ago. Get Diane Purkiss on who literally wrote the book on the social history of food which is about class. Jack is a middle class mic hogging bore.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

She made it! Link here 2 hours 46

She's not on to talk about cost of living, she's on to talk about weight loss drugs to halt the rise of obesity/reducing benefits bill.

Right, big girl pants on ... I'm going to listen ...

Next up, my cat will be presenting an assessment of the new lutetium superconductor and its potential use in space exploration

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Someone's been on the pringles

 

[Mr Krabs]

I seem to remember she made an unfortunate comparison between lockdown and nazi policies.

Quoting myself like a twat to post the receipts because I forgot to come back and edit in time. Thanks to Marmalade Atkins for grabbing the original screenshot.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I haven’t seen a jar of crab paste since my grandad (who didn’t own a B&B) died. It looks like something they’d hand out during the war as part of rationing. Or your history teacher would try to horrify you by telling you how soldiers at the battle of suchandsuch had to survive on bread made from rocks with only crab paste on top.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Although with Jack's history of lecturing dinner parties about she was taking field trips to Flanders or somewhere (and everyone laughed at her because she hadn't been to university) I would have thought she would be able to identify the slogan - it is as well known as Kinder, kucher, kirche.

Jack continually shows her ignorance of social and political matters.

It’s worse than you remember, unfortunately.

Spoiler

And she’s sooooo pleased with this (fictional) story she’s told it more than once

Here she goes again (in even more embellished and frankly ludicrous detail) a mere two and a half months later. She is just APPALLING. An ignorant, lying, shameful fuckwit

(Thanks to @Silver Linings who captured the 2020, and @Veronicaaa the 2021)

 

[HotesTilaire]

Is Jack trying to reposition herself as a crafts maven? Yet another one of the desperate career paths of washed-up no-talent former celebrities (see: Tori Spelling).

We’ve had Kirstie Allslop Jack before, it was tragic then and still is.