Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[Valiofthedolls]

What would fry/cook with tinned fish oil and how many cans of fish would you need to eat to get a decent amount of oil. I think the answer is fuck knows. Imagining the smell it would make is making me queasy. Ahh, that’s what the tinned candles are for.

If you can’t face frying with it, you can always whisk it raw with the juice from tinned fruit.

You know, just like they “could” serve it at The Ivy.

Jack Monroe Has Written a Cookbook for Food Bank Users

The food writer and campaigner rose to fame in 2012 after her blog on food poverty went viral. She tells us about ‘Tin Can Cook,’ the canned food recipe book she wishes she’d had as a food bank user.

www.vice.com

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Saw this and thought of the canal

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Is that the old or a new kitchen?? Calling the wonderfully forensic Fraus who will know this in a heartbeat!

Old kitchen.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

And loving the jackassery spawned by the ill advised mating of bad grammar and pomposity, giving us this gentle suggestion that The Echo please actually repeats the claim

View attachment 2010722

 

[lilykestrel]

She made it! Link here 2 hours 46

She's not on to talk about cost of living, she's on to talk about weight loss drugs to halt the rise of obesity/reducing benefits bill.

Right, big girl pants on ... I'm going to listen ...


ETA - update: I found it hard to listen to the content of what she's saying because I can hear her snuffling and snorting in the background while the presenter replies to her, and lip smacking while she speaks.

From what I did take in, she made some good points, none of which were intrisically disagreeable. And she managed not to talk about herself!

 

[StatusWoe]

I fucking hate cheese.

I eat cheese but also have a fear of cheese mites. I don't like them, I want them to stop eating all the cheese. I'm not prepared to make friends with them. I hope they get swallowed by a brambly mouse. I bet Jack's bungalow contains an entire nation of cheese mites.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

Sorry, I realise all that stuff is really popular but why do you need stupid bits of obviousluy fake scrap wood with home written on them to tell you where you are? It reminds me of what I was house hunting and someone had stencilled the word "Bath" above the bath. I suppose it would stop confused farmers leading a flock of sheep in for a drink but it upsets me.

A friend of mine had one saying ‘shit’ above their toilet in protest

 

[bracrumbs]

Gah, not to go off on the gcse-style mithering again but I know the canal has a good few teachers in it. And they will tell you in every primary school class up and down the land, there’s at least one girl (and it’s usually a girl) who is really good at reading and writing. They come in and hand you stories they wrote at home for fun, on book day they come in as an obscure character from a classic book, they remind you of all the things you forget “isn’t today an assembly day, miss?”

They’re lovely and great and I’m old enough now I’ve seen them grow and become teachers or solicitors or work in finance or a million and five other perfectly ordinary jobs. It’s wonderful they had something that they so enjoyed as children but it doesn’t make them completely unique. I had one class one year where I had a strange little group and I ended up with 6 kids like it.

YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL JACK. BOOK TOKEN AT 11 OR OTHERWISE!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack’s entire kitchen is already a complete fire hazard/safety nightmare though, so the candle tins are really just the cherry pilchard on top of the trifle.

(@Captainmouse immortalizing the sentient rug)

PS check out the date on this bottom one. 4th Feb.

Spoiler

A mere 3 weeks after this “peaceful and serene” decluttered kitchen, the very same corner (and the rest of it) rammed with shit. WHAT. A. TIT. I feel soooooo sorry for that landlady.

 

[Slop n slide]

This happened to another frau except they actually ordered the Pumble! Apparently it was nice (makes sense - Jack wasn't the one cooking). Isn't is strange that all these pumbles are suddenly appearing on our menus? Is it a plot? Are restaurants around the UK being infiltrated by Pumbles?



Exactly. She's never had a problem with housing. It's a ridiculous lie.

‘‘Twas me, dear heart! It was flippin’ delicious. I recognise that menu, it was the same place @SharkAttack . You have excellent taste in pubs. Hope the hangover isn’t too bad today. Perhaps some slop will help?
Anyway, here is a pic of said pumble, which was very well behaved and did not gain sentience in that charming little corner of REDACTED in London Town.

 

[GigglePops]

Well I’ve found the perfect gadget for Jack if she goes back to office work. Or gets that job as a train driver and needs to make tea or slop on the go.

View attachment 2010911
Seriously though, is this gadget just for people who want to piss off their coworkers? If your boss stops you working from home and makes you go into the office, cook up a batch of fish curry and honk up the place in protest.

I used to have a colleague who, when she first started, brought a rice cooker into the office and plugged it in to knock up a batch of rice for her and her husband (who worked on-site but in a different department). It was fairly low impact other than steam but we weren't even really allowed to bring our own phone chargers in so I had to tell her to knock that one on the head. And I had to tell her husband he wasn't allowed in our office. I crushed the youthful but enduring romance and codependency right out of them. (They probably just thought I was being mean, but I wasn't running a branch of Wagamama).

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Jack did say it in a tweet.
I'll try to find it. It was all to do with rumours or something and she thought she was being very clever and satirical no doubt.

Here it is, the really makes you think origin story. Never not funny.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I once pronounced cacophony like kakafoney when I was about 26? Still haunts me a decade later.

Little did you know how prescient you were given that you’re now a valued frau on a complete Caca Phoney’s Tattle thread.

Spoiler: More candle chat. WARNED.

She thinks this is very clever so she’s said it a lot.

ETA I will never understand why she’s got a wonky Venetian blind next to a different sized Venetian blind tattooed on her arm. Was she at one point trying to marry a wealthy B&Q area manager?

 

[Livia Fantasy]

but more detail = definitely true, right?

My eldest (sorry, DS1 ) had a habit of this. “Oscar, have you finished your homework already?”

“Yeah but what happened is Mrs Green was off so we had that substitute teacher remember the one from Maths last year on the day where Dan’s mum had that car crash when the bloke in the green Polo reversed into her at Sainsbury’s well that substitute teacher was in and didn’t know what page we were up to in that textbook you bought for me in September the one I lost when I stayed round Michael’s for his birthday and we played FIFA all night well I won the tournament that night and we went to the trampoline park on the Sunday well anyway so like we went over the last two pages again and then they said don’t worry you can all hand it in next week instead”

<sigh>

“Just say ‘no’, Oscar. Get off the fucking Xbox”

 

[Mr Krabs]

But what nearly teenage boy wouldn't ask mamapapa for those prints for his new room

View attachment 2014014

Mamapapa, please may I have a room that looks like the slightly damp guest room in your great aunt’s house that hasn’t been changed since the 1970s? Football? Minecraft? No I’d just adore an old cushion with a random dog on it.

 

[lilykestrel]

I wonder if we'll get birthday Jack held aloft by close fam and friends who insisted- you don't have to cook today, no really, please don't cook for us today or Saucy Sex Jack wink wink gosh my muffin has been buttered for 8 hours by the yummiest lover they kneaded me til indeed my yeast did rise. Place bets now.

"Reader, I burgered him"



__________________________________________________________________

In other news, I can't stop cackling at the alignment of this tweet with the circular worktop damage front and centre

I mean, even if it's not a tin-can-burn-mark, would you still take health and safety advice from somebody SETTING TIN CANS ON FIRE on a damaged worktop

 

[Dogrose]

Jack has been her very best worst elevenerife self. Including this classic Jack.
Squig: makes mild joke about current affairs
Jack: showcases her famous sense of humour by doing a little snark back AND promoting her fave Asda at the same time.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Well I’ve found the perfect gadget for Jack if she goes back to office work. Or gets that job as a train driver and needs to make tea or slop on the go.

Seriously though, is this gadget just for people who want to piss off their coworkers? If your boss stops you working from home and makes you go into the office, cook up a batch of fish curry and honk up the place in protest.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Taking inspiration from other Tattlers, Nose Jack has entered the chat.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Also I never noticed the lampshade before. Has she wrapped moss round it? I hope it's imitation moss

It's a shorter version of this monstrosity seen in Jack's (then) bedroom: