Jack Monroe #476 Avec Dangereux Dave and Les Pantalons of Beaucoup Grandes Humiliations
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Harsh but fair Google.
"Budget recipes are useful right now. Spouting bollocks is less so." Then why are you spouting bollocks instead of giving recipes, you've barely shared any new slop in the last year! Which is, of course, a mercy for poor people but still
CBA to unblock her and find out
Dear
I am hooting and fizzing at this. Magnifique.I so enjoyed her being away and the lazy, bucolic pace of the canal during her flounce. It’s sew much bettah* when she’s fucked off.
*another thing from @Valiofthedolls, I think, which has had me randomly hooting ever since the pasties video was shared.
ETA apologies it was @Lazarus - chapeau !
Jack is back, bitter and hinting at homelessness again. Everything that happens outside of her continues to be invisible and unmentioned. Her shattered reputation continues to obsess her. Everyone who doesn't like her is getting sued, especially rude 'colleagues' from the Express with the temerity to call her a chef. The current accounts got another airing (pls give generously) and Jack is looking forward to upcoming millionaire status cos its literally illegal to not like her and appreciate her important work such as spreadsheets about the best potato format.
And this baffling
According to her Greenbelt talk the day after an attempt at s*ic*de she went to a food bank for the first time in July 2012.
Compare to this account in the Daily Mirror.
It's like she doesn't believe the story is dramatic enough by itself so has to ratchet it up with quite horrible detail to shock. It's not just a slightly different account - it is completely different. So which is the truth Jack who-can't-lie?
Well I've caught up and once again, I'm absolutely beetroot for her. It's just SO embarrassing. Anyway I think a few more cringe-a-thons like this will send me into natural labour 
keep them coming, Jack
keep them coming, Jack
I don't agree with most of Katie's views but I just skimmed this and thought there were some excellent observations
My OH says he would say “avec Dave le dangereux et son pantalon très humiliant” but he also says keep the title as it is because it’s excellent.
He’s now making me laugh by trying to pronounce “mithering”.
He’s now making me laugh by trying to pronounce “mithering”.
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She uses that version of events in the podcast she did with Sophie Ellis-Bextor, except rather than claiming her and SB were having multiple portions she claims she brought Tupperware with her and took leftovers home. She was also very sneering about the sure start group, which was for young mothers, saying she only went for the free food and that it was enforced socialisation. That struck me as so typically Jack, essentially thinking she was too good for a mum and baby group.
Aside from the steaming pile of crap that is Thrifty Kitchen, when does she ever do recipes these days? She hasn't done for a very long time. Nothing gets put on her site anymore, unless it's a tin rattle or some snarky retort to someone she's fallen out with, nothing gets uploaded to social media. She doesn't write recipes anymore. They won't be missed by anyone, but saying she'll 'keep doing' them as if she currently is, is just the emperor talking about his beautiful clothes.
I could tell by the number of new pages on the dearly departed Eamonn Holmes thread that Jack had reemerged and as much as I was tickled by the anticipation of what fresh chaos she might've unleashed, at the same time - my stomach sank. She really is the grift that keeps on grifting.
So off I go to see if she and her loyal Comment Club squigs areorganising a relief fund for Monday's horrific earthquake wittering on about whether Wagon Wheels are better than Walnut Whips, and lo! I see it's my very least favourite Jack doing the rounds (and I say that confident that fellow fraus appreciate there is very stiff competition). LibelJack really is an absolute and complete, total twit, isn't she, epitomising all of her very worst traits in a perfect tower of shite smol package.
LibelJack is vengeful, conceited, self-pitying, and with a sense of her own importance that would be unbelievable if we hadn't had a full decade's proof that, yes, she really is this much of a bleep. And to top it all, LibelJack really does show off just what a simpleton she is. Legal fraus are welcome to correct me, but she clearly doesn't understand the first thing about libel law, does she? It doesn't mean "I can launch vexatious litigation whenever someone says they think I'm a grifting arse" - does it? And isn't it a fairly standard view (especially among liberals and lefties, of which I would count myself!) that UK libel law is routinely used and abused not by put-upon smol ex-pov 'campaigners' but rich and powerful types to intimidate opponents into silence?
Not that she'll ever actually act on her endless threats - they're just part of the endless expression of her own vindictive character. But still - she's only been back for a few hours and I'm already on a fresh aneurysm!
So off I go to see if she and her loyal Comment Club squigs are
LibelJack is vengeful, conceited, self-pitying, and with a sense of her own importance that would be unbelievable if we hadn't had a full decade's proof that, yes, she really is this much of a bleep. And to top it all, LibelJack really does show off just what a simpleton she is. Legal fraus are welcome to correct me, but she clearly doesn't understand the first thing about libel law, does she? It doesn't mean "I can launch vexatious litigation whenever someone says they think I'm a grifting arse" - does it? And isn't it a fairly standard view (especially among liberals and lefties, of which I would count myself!) that UK libel law is routinely used and abused not by put-upon smol ex-pov 'campaigners' but rich and powerful types to intimidate opponents into silence?
Not that she'll ever actually act on her endless threats - they're just part of the endless expression of her own vindictive character. But still - she's only been back for a few hours and I'm already on a fresh aneurysm!
Catching up like...
Same. She seems to have got the charity fundraising bit wrong though, people weren't calling for her to be investigated due to money she raises for herself, it was the Teemill fiasco.
The Greenbelt version of events is so extreme and removed from her normal narrative I wonder if she assumed it wouldn't be recorded and preserved? She could just say any old rubbish unchallenged?
In an interview with Emma Freud years ago she simply said 'After 6 months I was referred to a food bank'. The dramatic 'details', like carrying SB there and collapsing on floors, have been added year after year the further removed from the actual incident she becomes.
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