Jack Monroe #475 If you have Eamonn Holmes, place him on top of the chicken for added flavor

[Candytuft]

Even 1 or 2k isn't peanuts. For turning up and sniffing whilst honking out the same old story. Expenses paid as well.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Don’t tell me she lied?!

I'm genuinely surprised that organisations like CPAG don't do more to clamp down on people like Jack who misrepresent themselves in this way.

I could forgive Jack sending a slightly outdated blurb to Positive News - but as CPAG dropped her 8 years ago, this looks more like an intentional deception.

 

[Mrs Bookay]

Born and bred Cambridge frau here Seriously considering rocking up to the Literary Festival and shouting “HONK!” at the lying grifting cow. Followed by “WHERE’S ALL THE FUCKING MONEY?”

I remembered the other day that I have actually seen Jackanory in person. Years back (2014?) Jack and Leggy appeared at a culinary event at the Eden Project. Mr Bookay and I visit Eden a lot and just happened to be visiting that day. All I can remember is Jack being a simpering twat and Leggy seeming more like her Mum. BOAK

Sadly I think Jack will go down well at the festival, plenty of middle class hand wringing lefties here who will lap up her shit. Not her actual literal shit though. I hope

 

[StatusWoe]

do none of these turgid saddos twig that she doesn't have to constantly reply and respond to the 'idiots'

Something I find interesting about Jack's personality -
During my time on this thread, I've seen that she's completely motivated by spite and revenge. She's quick to anger and never lets anything go. I'm not suggesting it's 100% possible to ignore your critics or whatever the Tattlers are saying about you. I get why people might want to give their side of the story, etc. But Jack takes this to another level. Even when things are going well for her, she'll turn the positives into a negative, e.g. ''I've had a great interview. That'll show the haters!'' or ''I'm publishing an exciting new book. I'll dedicate it to the teachers who bullied me!'' It's so incredibly unhealthy. Imagine how draining it must be to carry that much hate around all day. Other people campaign to improve people's lives; Jack 'campaigns' to stick it to the Tories. I can barely think of any TV appearances or interviews where she doesn't mention the 'trolls' - it happens when it's totally inappropriate for the situation too. I mean, she even mentions trolls in those singing videos! It's as if her whole life is fuelled by negative energy. SAD.

I know some of the canal find her singing too cringe-inducing to watch, but there's a completely unhinged moment from 4:27 to 4:50 where she lashes out at imaginary critics and it's honestly quite scary.

Spoiler

^ Bonus Landslide cover! At around 1:54 she goes into a fugue state.

 

[Deeznutslol]

Lots of people are pointing out that calling someone ‘wealthy’, a ‘celebrity’ or a ‘chef’, whilst perhaps untrue, is hardly reputation damaging lmao.

 

[Boogs]

When has she ever done anything that benefits others and not herself? She took pictures of food she donated to a foodbank with post it’s saying Jack Monroe on them ffs

 

[FourSeasonSoupObsessive]

My money is on Jack being Very Brave and Stoic Indeed, in wistful and elegiac mode as she departs the Bungahouse, which was her simultaneously unfit-for-human-habitation AND house of dreams and sanctuary.

If only Teh Trollz hadn’t wrecked her final days there!

But they won’t wreck her upcoming toot toot best life evah! In the new house that is her and SBs first PROPER home! though she definitely hasn’t bought it, haha! It’s just another rental, you sad stalkers.

All of her many loving friends are on hand to lovingly wrap her up in a smol piece of cotton wool as they muck in to pack the few paltry items she has clawed from the pov to softly, tenderly transport them to the new, tiny, barely there one bedroom flat, which some benevolent/howlingly exploitative landlord has inexplicably rented her, her near-teen son and enormous cat and dog.

Im here for it all

 

[WoolyMammoth]

She says

"And the association with Linekers wealth, I adore him, but I’m closer to homelessness than I am to Gary, sorry"

Just made me chuckle to say that she's closer to xyz than Gary when he gets a thank you in her book. I'm nothing like the person I like so much that I thank them despite there being so many other people in the world. Lol

Im closer to no money than to Gary and I still earn a good income, and own property. So what's that point even about.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Parking up for the inevitable resumption of chaos

This is the period when us fraus start to miss Jack. Then she comes back and about two minutes later we’re posting “fuck off Jack ugh I’m so sick of her!”

 

[Lucky Escape]

I asked Positive News for their source and/or evidence that Jack campaigns for the CPAG. They replied that she is listed as one of their ambassadors on their website. That’s it.
<Insert eye rolls>

She's not, though - their amabassadors are Simon Callow, Jassa Ahluwalia, and Paul Tennant according to https://cpag.org.uk/about-cpag/our-people/our-ambassadors

She was an ambassador for them back in 2013, but I can't find any mention of her involvement later than August of that year.

 

[Geetbo]

Chancer, freelancer, disco powder dancer.

Tinker, Tailor, Grifter, Twat

 

[DianeAbbotsMojito]

Babe, same x

I was also terrified of quick sand, Charlie the cat and a good chunk of 1970s British kids tv programmes.

Omg you ninny, stop. You'll be giving Cocknose ideas for a comeback special "What's Your Favourite Childhood Terror Memory?"

"Pylons, Jack!"
"@bootstrapcook it's gotta be railway lines glad you're back mate ignore the sad little trolls"
"Stranger Danger, Jack lol loving this thread ha ha ha"
"Zelda from Terrahawks! Please @me 🥹"

Jack - "I'll do a spreadsheet" (she won't)

 

[MavisBeacon]

OMG like can you even read jack? They are arguably two clauses "wealthy celebrities like Gary Lineker" and "chef Jack Monroe". Could have done with an Oxford comma there. Although describing her as a chef is certainly pushing it.
But nevertheless, she's jumping on it to embarrass herself again. Good grief.

Eta interesting how she automatically assumes the "celebrity" descriptor refers to her. See also the "what was your favorite celebrity breakup" nonsense.

 

[hoopdedoo]

Jack Monroe doesn't have "conversations". She has *monologues*. Thoughts and prayers for the host of this event.

 

[Veronicaaa]

LOL it's part of her 'evidence' for her fictional Lee Anderson libel case

 

[Veronicaaa]

The Express's political editor is tagged into all the (frankly abusive) responses, btw. It's the definition of a pile-on instigated by Jack on a Saturday morning. Jack, there may be better ways to deal with this if you think you have been somehow maligned, but I guess not many of them involve posting your scant bank statements to the whole of twitter.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Also, *he's* obsessed with *her*? He said one thing about her on some vlog a year ago and she hasn't stopped wanging on about him since.

Lee Anderson tweets containing "Monroe" ... zero
Jack Monroe tweets containing "Anderson" ... got bored scrolling

 

[Geetbo]

I feel in my waters that a return is imminent.

Either that or a squig is gonna report that Billy bear ham has gone up by 20p in the co-op and ask Jack to go and fuck them up.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I hate to come out on the side of the Express, but have they really repeated “a libel” if Jack hasn’t actually started, let alone completed the case where a Judge decides if it were a libel or not?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Actually, there is no blanket “right” to not be lied about “on prominent platforms” you complete and utter fuckwit.

Ten years you’ve been getting aerated at “prominent platforms” getting facts about you incorrect (lying?) almost all of which have caused no reputational harm whatsoever and ALL of which pale in comparison to the reputational harm you’ve caused yourself in that time. Get a fucking grip, you daft tit.