Jack Monroe #475 If you have Eamonn Holmes, place him on top of the chicken for added flavor

[L3moning]

"I'm so unbelievably tired of this nonsense": thread title nomination please and thank you

Fairly sure we've had it, or something very similar, before.

 

[phoebuscartel]

Or Community Mental Health Team

 

[NellieBoo]

I love that these threads are so esoteric (but also hugely welcoming, hello lurkers) that this isn't even the first time The Worm That Turned has been mentioned around these parts.

And now I've gone full nostalgia, shout out to the time @Walkdengirl posted an image of The Place to see Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy and Bernard Manning but we'll gloss over that.

Ha! I had a chuckle the other day when tweets about The Big Light and Blackpool illuminations were posted here. And Jack asking how far South these vair funny sayings had reached . Because I'm almost 51 and my Dad started shouting that when I was about 12 .

We also used to watch Saturday Big Top Wrestling with Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy with plates of chitterlings and bread and butter on our laps. We were and are very 'down south'. I learned that chitterling eating and wrestling watching wasn't a usual thing where we lived as kids. No idea why. It was ace!

 

[I'm not actually here]

What is the thing about Canada anyway?

Is it just that someone googled "CA Cocaine Anonymous" and found a load of branches in Canada?

Because if you do the same for "UK Cocaine Anonymous" you find lots over here too - including the one in Essex which has a "newcomer" keyring in its shop that's identical to the one Jack showed.

Dunno but it is hilarious either way. She can't defend it as it will simply point out the CA side of her 12 step programs - AA, ED and whatever else she has fessed up to over the years.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Anal herpes? Is that a thing?

Think that’s part of genital. Other equally horrific sites include ocular (eye)

 

[TillyMiffin]

If not already seen as these threads go so fast View attachment 1951660
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I just can’t anymore with her….

 

[I'm not actually here]

Spoiler: Off topic: slurry pit

Mr F did fall into a slurry pit as an eight-year-old - he'd taken a short cut home across the farm on the edge of town, saw it had crusted over and decided to walk over it to see what would happen. As you might expect, the crust didn't take the weight of a small boy, thankfully he managed to haul himself out and trudged home smelly and dripping....straight into his parents' silver wedding anniversary celebrations, which you can imagine went down brilliantly! His dad took him into the back garden and hosed him down, apparently their lawn was especially vibrant that year.

On topic - we've pretty much written her first few posts back for her, come on Jack, get going.

I reckon it's wine o'clock here..... I foresee a grand weekend of entertainment. (And a huge increase in the comments Club figures)

 

[I'm not actually here]

Does she think she is getting one over on us by not tweeting anything?!

Spoiler: Completely OT

have they changed the font on the Hellsite?

 

[Lucky Escape]

Has anyone found the Daily Express story in question? What's the libel she claims that they're repeating?

 

[hoopdedoo]

Spoiler: Molly mithering

stop press. deleted again.

Isn't Jack's lawyer off for the Sabbath?

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Top squig is journo

Piece? Ring piece more like.

 

[NellieBoo]

Those ring binders.

Siri, show me someone who thinks they are v v v intellectual but 'secretly' have a massive complex about their 4.5 GCSES.

Call me old fashioned, but if you ARE something you just own it, you don't have to show it.
---


I'm just shy of 50, grew up in West Wales and it has forever been the big light!

I know. Sigh. Jack thought it was some sort of indication of her very edgy upbringing mix of Norn Irn and being military around the edges or some other shite . I believe 'frigging' was mentioned too .

 

[StatusWoe]

View attachment 1949252

Or this

 

[Mr Krabs]

Lee Anderson has tweeted about Asda brining out a feed your family for a week on £20 range.
Jack is gonna be furious.

I just got recommended this content which is all up in Jack’s niche, down to the egg which looks raw enough to hatch. Except Jack would probably claim it cost 11p to make because big maffs.

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Hi squig, I think I love you

The finest tweet of the day. Well done sir madam or enby person.

 

[Katkat]

Spoiler: Half term!

Apologies for half term date chaos ninnies! Knee deep in ironing and packing for small getaway whilst having intense vertigo has made me a narc :/

 

[I'm not actually here]

It's not stained glass. She used sticky film and pretty much used it everywhere.

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I stand corrected. Now, about the door knocker....!

 

[L3moning]

Back in the 90s, my dad kept a huge saucepan filled with lard in the cupboard under the sink. That were his chip pan, he'd change the lard once a year.
The chips were amazing, the hygeine was honking by today's standards I suppose.
But I were a kid so I knew no better.

My nan did the same, although I think she changed the lard a little more regularly than annually.

 

[bracrumbs]

Nah you should have seen the vegan rage when Flora put milk back in Flora Buttery, then released a new vegan butter at twice the price. Fuck margarine.

my son is dairy allergic () and he won’t have spread in sandwiches/on bread at all. He’d rather go without. I use for him in cakes but nothing else.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Try your local environmental health. Your local fire service should have a community team who are very good with this type of thing. Her address should be flagged with them anyway as a hoarder in case of fire. We flag our hoarders with the fire service.

You can make a referral to your local council Adult Care team. Actually, that's how my service user became involved with support services. She was living in her own home and a concerned neighbour made a referral as she'd hoarded herself out of her house and was living in her front porch. She was moved into supported social housing where we became involved.

Environmental health is a good shout for the out door/shared spaces.
In my last house the house next door was occupied by squatters before we moved in. They moved out and the owner secured the property and chucked a load of their crap into their back garden which backed onto our kitchen window. EH came out had a look and managed to get hold of the owner to secure access to the back garden to get it cleared out. They were pretty quick about it too to their credit.