Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!

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That, what I can only assume is bread and butter pudding, looks like she's spatchcocked a baby sloth.
I just at that while my other half is having his 1-1 and I’m not really supposed to be here. I can’t even leave the room to howl and claw because his boss will see I’m still in my pyjamas 🫣
 
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I think her mother has more influence on the family than Jack lets on. The religion thing, for a start... Grandad H had a Baptist funeral service, as an example - so will have been baptised as an adult at E's church.
Really? Thanks I didn't know that.

I can't seem to reconcile his attitude to her obvious by Jack's stories of how he laughingly encouraged her being abusive and sweary to her mother and her having enough influence to make him change his religion. But like everything about her, it doesn't make sense.
 
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She’s not interested in anyone else. Jack Monroe’s specialist subject is Jack Monroe.
 
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She also claims to have been hospitalised following an attempt on her life but weirdly the hospital didn't enquire into her living circumstances and raised no concern about a child being at home with a parent in such deep mental distress. But apparently kids are getting snatched into care right, left and centre because their mother ran out of Weetabix. All of her lies are fucking nonsense and if she didn't link them to such distressing subjects she'd have been called out years ago.
 
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I for one am waiting with bated breath for Jack and SB's winter Scottish camping adventure. I wonder when it'll start.
My nipples just froze and fell to the floor like pebbles even thinking about that. I went camping on Skye several summers ago and it was bloody freezing at night. You’d have to be a deranged fantasist to imagine… oh, right.
 
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She could go to a care home. Only joking !!!!’
 
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I'd give necky bollocks a swift boot in the dick.
Like attracts like and she doesn't half attract her mirror image.
 
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The trouble with "wild camping" is that if you find a decent spot, there's the possibility that it's also the favourite spot of hundreds of other people.

Maybe not so much in winter tho...
 
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I was going to circle back to that - all the pills AND a bottle of vodka and she was posting on FB the day after? No A&E (minimum, paracetamol can kill you), nothing? I call BS again.
 
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Oh God, I'm listening to her Greenbelt thing, she's so utterly appalling. She's talked about nothing but herself so far. Why is she hamming up her 'accent'? The quavering shitting dog - I get she's nervous but I think this is mostly because she's so un-prepared. Holy f**k Grenfell! 'Me me me' again.

Fostering section. She is SUCH a trauma and grief tourist. Again, it's all 'I'.

HOW DO PEOPLE FALL FOR THIS?! It's just confected, triggering misery making her out to be the saddest wretch to have ever existed. This is literally the only story she has ever been capable of telling and she descends into a deeper circle of hell (i.e. LIES) with each re-telling of it. She has no desire whatsoever to try to make things better for others; all she wants is for The Poverty (died aged 18 months, RIP, if it ever existed) story to be her meal ticket for the rest of her life. I'm 20 minutes in now and this has been NOTHING but a woe-is-me stream of consciousness of crap!
 
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It would be a fun exercise to get a transcript of that speech, and go through it highlighting all the lies we spot.
 
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What kind of household has stray pots of cream lying around?
It makes it so obvious that she lives alone.

I do too, and sometimes struggle not to waste food. I try to buy veg loose, I portion packaged meat up, divide loaves of bread, batch cook, and have friends over for dinner often... and I still waste more than I'd like.

Last time I bought cream, I used it for 3 desserts over the course of two weeks but about a quarter of the bottle still went to waste.

Jack seems to have much much more waste than I do - I reckon that either she doesn't actually cook very often, or she does a lot of impulse buying. Possibly both.
 
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Whenever we have cream in the house it eventually becomes part of the “guess what I used to be” game when we clean the fridge
 
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Ohh I won the thread title! Thanks blue face!

I’m going to guess that since I only have 5 pages to grunk that Jack is still pretending to be offline.
 
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It would be a fun exercise to get a transcript of that speech, and go through it highlighting all the lies we spot.
I have up about halfway through when someone sidled up to her in a swimming pool and told her her book saved his life. ("Your book saved my life at uni"...I wonder if she thought he meant she literally saved her life...?!)

At least she seems to recognise her charmed life of titting about writing for the guardian
 
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Once you see it, you can't unsee it and it's literally EVERYWHERE.
 
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