Remember when we did "Jack as Crockery"?. I feel like we need something like that. But what!!?
Jack as birds?
Jack as animals
Jack as birds?
Jack as animals
Jack Monroe #468 Remove my photo! Warned!
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And puffins...
A young puffin is called a puffling. So adorable!!
And a young wallaby is called a wallababy. Possibly.
Come back, Jack. I'm losing my mind
She does have form for that. They’re probably stuffed under there with her fetid 2012 LBD.
Tell me that entire “Made In Chelsea/City Boy/2012 LBD/“champagne cocktail” set” (lol WTF?!) scenario never happened without telling me it never happened, Jack.
(And also, can we please add “Machinist” to the words that Tool&Die Jack doesn’t understand?)
Serious question: has she ever met any actual people IRL? Why does every single person in her ludicrous made up woe is me stories sound so utterly implausible? They’re not even just bad caricatures. They’re LITERALLY unreal
Just chased down my three cats to sniff them properly. Good night canal!
I do wonder if "Jack Monroe" is actually a fictional character, curated by all of the side characters in her story.
That can surely be the only reason that close family don't call her out.... They're all in on the gag.
I keep listening to podcasts, reading articles... And finding similar stories that she's obviously harvested.
That can surely be the only reason that close family don't call her out.... They're all in on the gag.
I keep listening to podcasts, reading articles... And finding similar stories that she's obviously harvested.
Maybe the Hooray dinner was City Boy's cunning ploy to get rid of Jack
My friend has 6 ferrets, can't say I've noticed they smell like hay, grass and slightly decaying apples. They are lovely but very whiffy and utterly hilarious (total thieves, could teach Jack a trick or 2). Not as bad as the intact male mouse she used to have, my god he was tiny but he stank like a thousand blocked drains
I have male rats. I've seen them described as smelling like biscuits by other people. Not sure what biscuits they are eating but mine smell of hormones and piss (my rats, not my biscuits).
Behave, squig. Monroe, Dalai Lama and Gandhi (note the correct spelling) in the same sentence? Okay, pal.
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Why are they drawn like that? It's enough to frighten a more nervy child, having them looming over you. Saying that, I'd love to see their interpretation of Jack, just for the terrible factor.
I'm not saying thread title, but...tiny but [he] stank like a thousand blocked drains
I was going to say something similar. I wonder how many of her characters come from that mountain of cheap books she reads.
Genuinely believe Jack watched the S4 episode of Buffy called “Superstar” in which an unpopular teen casts a spell that makes him a better fighter than Buffy, a tactical military expert, beats Giles at chess, out gobshites Spike, is a famous author/singer/actor who starred in The Matrix, is everyone’s best friend and a relationship guru (fellow Buffy Fraus forgive me if I missed anything off the list of what happens in this episode) and thought “Yeah, I’ll do that” and did it via the magic of Narc powers and social media.
oh, as if
PS we’ve already seen Jack’s Leggy haunted underbed wedding dress.
Just for the record, I’m 100% Team Peppermint Patty on this being something that would tip a relationship well past WARNED into SHE LEFT.
Now just imagine that stuffed under the bed for 8 years with the Fortnum’s fetid sofa sheets and all Jack’s gooey feta and pilchard midnight snack detritus with Jack snuffling and honking on a mattress mere inches away all that time.
Her Wuthering terrifyingly around the bungahouse like the bastard love child of a Brontë sister and the Nazgûl isn’t a particularly implausible leap from there.
It’s ok, all you can smell is the slow cooker gently, softly warming the slop all night long
So
Those books she downloads to performatively "show the trollhaterz I'm an intellectual and read 900 books a year, actually!"
Sorry, you're right I'll rephrase
Those books she downloads to performatively "show the trollhaterz I'm an intellectual and read 900 books a year, actually!"
Ah, I think I can help you there, dearest one.
Just like Jack the flatmates were also the type of 16 year olds who are actually in their twenties while also being “about 17”.
It’s a shame closet nazi Nan was a secret racist, must have really caused problems if she wanted to pop round to see Jack with all the Italian Somalian flatmates.
No.
Too short.
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