Jack Monroe #467 Tragedies that seem to befall her, you’d think her life was written by Lemony Snicket

[coconutcookie]

So she’s deliberately ignoring people who are genuinely concerned and upset, dragging out everyone’s worrying and pandering (as Tattle predicted) yet is actively blocking squigs calling her out this afternoon.
Actually can’t believe I posted this morning saying I felt bad. Fucks sake.
Calculating, horrible cow. Any scrap of sympathy I had this morning is permanently gone! Vile behaviour. Fuming I was temporarily roped in!

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

pray for gary wilmot's people when they find these threads

I'm now imagining his publicist or PR or someone going "Gary? I didn't know you liked guinea pigs?" and for every Christmas or birthday someone buys him a guinea pig themed present for no reason.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I realise that Y13 is age 17-18, but even so - should a school really be signposting the sort of material that Jack's been broadcasting recently without a warning?

 

[AlwightDallin]

4 tins of Asda beans £1.20 so shut it squig. El cheapo beans are like 20p. Why do we need people moaning to the poverty cosplayer that premium brands cost premium prices? People make the choice in the shop, you choose and purchase what you want at a price you’re willing to pay. I’ve never bought Heinz beans but I do prefer their ketchup and mayo.

Anyway like Jack can start campaigning on anything pov again since she’s admitted spending thousands on whisky, pills & sideboards. Ooh. Might get that on a t shirt.

 

[bladiesla]

Why you frown?
Title with 'Jack Mango' voted down.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

26th

Too short.

M'Sideboard reporting for duty!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

pray for gary wilmot's people when they find these threads

Fear not, kach. Gary’s round at the crappy Bungahouse right now teaching Wicked Jack the error of her ways via the medium of song

Spoiler: And his hat’s better than hers too

Stop breadcrumbing n’ lying you insufferable twit.
Refund your Patreons, did you ever think of thaaaaa-aaat?
You’re not a Peaky Blinder, even in a haa-aaaat.
Stay of Twitter, you insuuuuuuuuffferrraaaaable TWAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Edit: (my spelling is as tit as Jack’s career prospects this morning)

 

[Nonah]

Fear not, kach. Gary’s round at the crappy Bungahouse right now teaching Wicked Jack the error of her ways via the medium of song

Spoiler: And his hat’s better than hers too

View attachment 1902190
Stay off Twitter, you insufferable twit.
Refund your Patreons, did you ever think of thaaaaa-aaat?
You’re not a Peaky Blinder, even in a haa-aaaat.
Stay of Twitter, you insuuuuuuuuffferrraaaaable TWAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Aw look at his cheeky little face

 

[Bugger13]

I'm now imagining his publicist or PR or someone going "Gary? I didn't know you liked guinea pigs?" and for every Christmas or birthday someone buys him a guinea pig themed present for no reason.

Poor bugger. I decided at 9 to start ‘collecting cats’ (copying my sister who collected pigs). Years later I still get given tit like those ‘what do Cats think about’ books from the works. Never ever say you’re collecting anything, trust me.
Although I know that Jack collects Railway Modeller past issue magazines-just in case any of her imaginary friends or family are reading. Works for some people obviously.

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Hello folks, I need to take a break for a bit. I wish you well and I hope one day, Jack Monroe is made to face the consequences of the long con. Until next time, take care.

 

[Lucky Escape]

We all celebrated the non-existence of the Virtual Bollock Industry by wearing virtual hats, Jack breadcrumbed suicide like the horrible narc she is, denied ever breadcrumbing cancer although the canal, as always, has the receipts, a couple of new ninnies had a bit of a mither because of the aforesaid suicide breadcrumbing but the old hands were all "nah, she's done this before, this is exactly according to schedule," and lo and behold, she unlocked her account after a full ninety seconds, the Guinness World Records people are considering awarding her the world record for Shortest Twitter Flounce.

This sequence of tweets about the 90 second huff is one of my favourite ever Tattle moments...

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Poor bugger. I decided at 9 to start ‘collecting cats’ (copying my sister who collected pigs). Years later I still get given tit like those ‘what do Cats think about’ books from the works. Never ever say you’re collecting anything, trust me.
Although I know that Jack collects Railway Modeller past issue magazines-just in case any of her imaginary friends or family are reading. Works for some people obviously.

Jack Monroe is a collector of many things. Sideboards, cutlery and other peoples money, mostly.

 

[Mrsoverall]

I’m so sorry @Mrsoverall I didn’t know you’d nominated the thread title too, I was mid doing the original one when the change happened and so I just took the SS information from the nefarious ninnies that tried to hoodwink you out of your just credit. Please accept this signed first edition, hand sewn, leather bound with inlays of satin wood and mahogany, copy of the VBI as a gesture of my deepest regret for my mistake. Now duck off!

I'll TREASURE it! Thank you tenderstem

 

[MavisBeacon]

*sulks*

Argh sorry that was my fault. However, in the spirit of Jack I take no responsibility at all and will instead fish for sympathy with the most horrible bait I've seen since my mum's dog tried to eat a box of anglers worms down the canal

 

[Vanelope]

There is no terrible idea she will not stoop to… fuckinelwotacunt

she deserves to be flamed off twitter for that nonsense.

 

[stunrw]

Jack Monroe is a collector of many things. Sideboards, cutlery and other peoples money, mostly.

And cocks. You forgot cocks

 

[Veronicaaa]

Sorry but Jack is so calculated - at some point today, she's unliked some previous tweets she liked so that now if you go and check her likes, this is the first one you see.

 

[DragonBoy]

 

[Dogmuck]

Sorry but Jack is so calculated - at some point today, she's unliked some previous tweets she liked so that now if you go and check her likes, this is the first one you see.

View attachment 1902229

I’d noticed this too. It was early. I went to look if she’d deleted all the 30p Lee likes, she hadn’t, I was gonna mention it and then had to check myself. Would she have unliked and then relived to make it the top of her likes?

 

[Lurkeryaar]

It's been said before, but I love that these threads are such a hub for support and care for our fellow ninnies - the only good thing from the worst of Jack is that she brings out the best in us.

(Internet hugs to fellow haematology cancer fraus, it's a bloody tough slog - pun intended. Maybe see some of you at the MCC )