I am a better lesbian Jack and:
1. I am a man.
2. I’ve had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
1. I am a man.
2. I’ve had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
Jack Monroe #465 Unlike Jack Monroe, Jacinda Ardern doesn't need emotional support sideboards
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Too soon, too soon, dear Wha-i
Ohhhh she's been spending again.
Didn't realise skip was code for buying tit loads of shite from the Internet.
PayPal petty cash
for chairs can't sue Lee
Here comes the snark
If she could just hold off until I’ve got my kids to bed, that would be grand.
One of ours still does, we've had him since he was 6 months old (that was 8 years ago). He happily bites everyone, but he's also a v loving boy. The rescue ppl said he came from a 'bad family. Hope to never meet them because - well.And may we please have a moment to think of all our rescue animals and their responses. 3.6 years WoohCat2 has been home, but just 12 months since he'snot flinched when a hand is moved. I love him more than I despise Jack Monroe.
JM could have given a rescue dog a home, and do something compassionate and worthwhile. But if course she wanted the designer dog, didn't she. Never occurred to her that a rescue would have given her more likes and stan love. Fool.
And there it is! She's spent the past 6 months making bleeping suuuuuuure the hellsite knows she's sleeping on the sofa 
"Pulled a bench out of a skip" with crumbly bones and arthritis? Sure, Jan.
ETA: "And stalk every bit of my uninteresting life"? Not hard to do when you put most of your life (the sadfishing tip-jar-rattling part of it anyway) on the sodding Internet, you twit.
ETA: "And stalk every bit of my uninteresting life"? Not hard to do when you put most of your life (the sadfishing tip-jar-rattling part of it anyway) on the sodding Internet, you twit.
There she blows! She's been high on Duper's Delight for hours now. After every high there is a low
.
i often fall asleep on the sofa in front of box sets on Netflix
Send cashos … so I can spaffo on fancy furnishings
Did the squig actually ask where she got the furniture for the Five Thousand friends from ?
It's almost like she remembered her 1st lie regarding the furniture fire sale, when she'd posted, & it was too late!
Oh my god jack SHUT UP
“oh this chair? I pulled it out of my arse”
“This sideboard was left under my pillow by the tooth fairy”
“I made that wardrobe myself out of old cereal boxes”
“I won that chesterfield sofa in a Jimmy Krankie lookalike competition”
Jack you’ve just admitted in a guardian interview that you get wasted and spend your patreon money on furniture, whyyyy are you still lying about where it all came from
Let's hope it was an intervention.
Slightly updated bio
"still sober"
"still sober"
Quoting myself like a ninny but ah, less than 5 and a half hours later, the comedown……
Hahaha she deleted it. twit.
Does she sleep on the sofa? She's never said. She should have said.
No squig, she spent a lot of your money on that fancy olive chair, she’s not wrecking it with paint.
How about you and the other squigs be a love and have a whip round so Jack can get matching olive furniture.
Thanks for keeping a smol pixie in the manner she has become accustomed to.
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