Jack Monroe #465 Unlike Jack Monroe, Jacinda Ardern doesn't need emotional support sideboards

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title a squig's words nominated by @Brian Butterfield you get some weighty whirls of whimsy that I've just whipped up.

In the previous thread: Jack managed to make Jacinda Ardern's resignation all about herself by talking about her relentless gaslighting nefarious usual suspects and how that's totes the same thing as Jacinda experienced leading an entire country.

For newbies the wiki is the pink button up top. Please use the words 'thread title' when nominating one. Thankyou for all you do, tenderstems.

 

[hydeist]

first

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Has she posted the blog yet?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

She looks exactly the same as I did at that age. I thought I was fat btw. I wouldn’t even say she was that skinny. Her legs look unremarkably normal. In fact, she just looks incredibly average like she is in every way.

 

[Lazarus]

Has she posted the blog yet?

I was going to ask about the JA blog. Will it be one of the 4p.w.? Or is this a bonus one?
By the end of this week we’ll have 12, possibly 13 blog posts to read. The thread will be a barren wasteland whilst we’re silently, gently navigating our way through Jack’s written outputs.
Shall we take it on shifts to man this page? I don’t mind doing night-shift. My dog keeps me awake half the night so I can keep an eye on things here whilst you lot sleep or catch up on the blogs and then we can swap over when the pooch goes back to sleep right as I’m about to get up for work every bleeping morning and Mr Lazarus doesn’t hear any of it.

 

[Limey]

I was going to ask about the JA blog. Will it be one of the 4p.w.? Or is this a bonus one?
By the end of this week we’ll have 12, possibly 13 blog posts to read. The thread will be a barren wasteland whilst we’re silently, gently navigating our way through Jack’s written outputs.
Shall we take it on shifts to man this page? I don’t mind doing night-shift. My dog keeps me awake half the night so I can keep an eye on things here whilst you lot sleep or catch up on the blogs and then we can swap over when the pooch goes back to sleep right as I’m about to get up for work every bleeping morning and Mr Lazarus doesn’t hear any of it.

She's right onto it, after she's defrosted those eels.

 

[hoopdedoo]

Also to Lindsey De Paul (young people please google her)
Apparently Shazza and Lindz had a big fall out and Shazza went to Lindsey's hotel room where Lindsey was packing her bags. Sharon then squatted over her open suitcase full of clothes and did a wee. Sharon has very publicly admitted this in several interviews.

I remember reading this in a profile of Sharon's dad, who @Lazarus has accurately described. Lynsey was one of his management clients. IIRC it was Lynsey who was interviewed.
She said she and Sharon went on holidays together and Sharon thought she was too boring and uptight. So Sharon decided to liven things up by weeing in Lynsey's suitcase.

Moral of the story: never go on holiday with Sharon. Or with Jack for that matter.

 

[diva.wps]

Sorry, I wouldn’t normally comment on a woman’s body but she’s got quite the rack on her for someone with “wasted legs”. They are not wasted. She looks healthy.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Frauen and Herren, I’ve been shopping in Chinatown and call the po-po because…

 

[Shimmering]

She's just on the school run. Give her a minute!

 

[Lazarus]

I remember reading this in a profile of Sharon's dad, who @Lazarus has accurately described. Lynsey was one of his management clients. IIRC it was Lynsey who was interviewed.
She said she and Sharon went on holidays together and Sharon thought she was too boring and uptight. So Sharon decided to liven things up by weeing in Lynsey's suitcase.

Moral of the story: never go on holiday with Sharon. Or with Jack for that matter.

He was called the Al Capone of pop for good reason. His treatment of the Small Faces was pure exploitation and abuse. When they finally asked how much money they’d made him, he snitched them to their parents for taking drugs. Total Jack behaviour. He was an absolute shyster.

 

[Shimmering]

Sorry, I wouldn’t normally comment on a woman’s body but she’s got quite the rack on her for someone with “wasted legs”. They are not wasted. She looks healthy.

Jeez, I just caught up on the end of the last thread.

Only Jack could write about her "stupidly wasted legs" in a photo of her standing beside someone in a wheelchair. Other people literally don't exist to her.

 

[DragonBoy]

Sorry, I wouldn’t normally comment on a woman’s body but she’s got quite the rack on her for someone with “wasted legs”. They are not wasted. She looks healthy.

She looks normal. She is normal. That’s what she loathes, that she’s so mind-numbingly, boringly normal.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

She looks exactly the same as I did at that age. I thought I was fat btw. I wouldn’t even say she was that skinny. Her legs look unremarkably normal. In fact, she just looks incredibly average like she is in every way.

Same

Basic witch

 

[Emmapism]

She looks exactly the same as I did at that age. I thought I was fat btw. I wouldn’t even say she was that skinny. Her legs look unremarkably normal. In fact, she just looks incredibly average like she is in every way.

Jack Monroe, incredibly average in every way

 

[DragonBoy]

Jack Monroe, incredibly average in every way

Fuxache Em. Post 15? 15! Really!?

 

[hoopdedoo]

And yet another squig who can use Twitter but for some reason cannot figure out how to use Google....

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

Recap addition:

More squigs, including Comments Club members, have been softly, gently, waking up to the realisation that Jack Monroe may not have been truthful is a liar. That Guardian article she was so smug about has hilariously backfired because now everyone wants to talk or joke about the famous sideboards. (Cotswold Company, spenny, and for any new Frauen and lurkers - please refer to @That Forensic Man ’s tireless tallying in the wiki and @heretoreaditall2019 ’s Patreon income projections for an idea of just how much she’s grifted and spunked.)

She still has some thirsty beardbros on her side.

Mom, That Man, and all the other proper chefs and cooks are being featured in all sorts of media so far this month giving tips on low-cost cooking and meal ideas. Not a single blue ticker food pro has so much as mentioned Jack Monroe, much to our satisfaction.

Speculation now turns to what exactly Jack Monroe will do now she has no future as a minor celeb. But not much speculation, really, because tbh we don’t really care, we just want her to be honest for once in her bullshitting life and stop taking money from people and not delivering anything.

As each thread goes by, more and more receipts emerge as to just how much of a colossal self-centred liar she is - usually her own words from blogs and articles and social media posts. I thought I was used to it by now but apparently I can still be amazed, not in a good way, by how awful she has been for a decade. How she got a media platform and kept it for so long should be the subject of uni media ethics classes.

 

[Ablemabel]

She looks exactly the same as I did at that age. I thought I was fat btw. I wouldn’t even say she was that skinny. Her legs look unremarkably normal. In fact, she just looks incredibly average like she is in every way.

Babe, same x

 

[Mr Krabs]

Frauen and Herren, I’ve been shopping in Chinatown and call the po-po because…

View attachment 1895917