Another ‘dangerous tip‘. Shouldn’t you at least wear some sort of protective glove, if the ingredient you’re finely slicing is ‘sausages cooking’?
See you in the ER, y’all.
Jack Monroe #462 Tectonic plates make less fuss about moving
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See you in the ER, y’all.
I want to believe Cooper moved across the road in with Jack's landlady, as a spite move 
Seafood sauce is literally just mayo and ketchup, plus whatever amount of tabasco, worcestershire sauce, lemon juice you fancy! It's the condiment version of puttanesca! You're meant to be able to easily make it from cupboard ingredients! It's more wasteful and expensive to buy pre-mixed stuff!Jack's recipe for prawn cocktail is frozen prawns mixed with ready-made, shop-bought seafood sauce
Also the idea of grilled *tinned* grapefruit is genuinely distressing.
EDIT: I also regularly make prawn cocktail for my family (
) and that recipe is the biggest faff I've ever seen. All you need for a good prawn cocktail are big fat prawns, seafood sauce, and lettuce and maybe avocado for the salad, served with a wedge of lemon. It should take 10 minutes to make, tops, it should be simple.
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I do hope she doesn’t spend half the day sleeping on the sofa from a) getting slowly and gently squiffy last night b) spending until the early hours honking 
c) hoofing one too many trammies d) getting a middle of the night burger caller e) doing some online night sideboard spaffing - I cannot wait to see how smarmy she is about the Express advertorial.
c) hoofing one too many trammies d) getting a middle of the night burger caller e) doing some online night sideboard spaffing - I cannot wait to see how smarmy she is about the Express advertorial.
Quoting myself because I've only just worked out what she's done here - she's ~adapted~ the recipe for a toffee sauce, like you'd get on a sticky toffee pudding, using lemon curd instead of sugar and cream and mixing it with butter. She doesn't understand toffee. Literally.Jack's topping for her sticky lemon pudding is lemon curd mixed with *melted butter*
The first thing I thought when I looked at the pages - 'I've seen that chicken somewhere before'...
She was included as a representative of the grifting community
No way I’m eating defrosted prawns that have been left for two days 
I have a cast iron stomach but prawns are not to be pissed about with!
I have a cast iron stomach but prawns are not to be pissed about with!
The get up and go muffins is short for get up and go to the toilet to immediately tit isn’t it?
Loool when u come for king Chris u better not missThis puts it as baldly in the press as I've ever seen it I think - specifically stating the drunk/spending/tramadol money was donated by the public, and was intended to support her work. And the FT too
If that is not true (it is) that is the sort of thing you would think she should be litigious over.
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(@Veronicaaa screenshot).
You just know she thinks this is the most wonderfully maverick hack ever too, and she’s proud as punch nobody else has ever thought of it. Not realising of course that anyone who has would realise it wouldn’t work and discard it.
Sausages cooking! WTF how is that in a recipe.
Does she mean ‘cooking’ sausages like when she says ‘cooking bacon’?Another ‘dangerous tip‘. Shouldn’t you at least wear some sort of protective glove, if the ingredient you’re finely slicing is ‘sausages cooking’?
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The only time I have ever been really ill from food was defrosted prawns. I'm still loath to buy and eat them to this day which is a shame as I love them!No way I’m eating defrosted prawns that have been left for two days
Sausages- another typesetting error, it should be
sausages
cooking oil
Eta it's funny because she specifies cooking oil (vs baby oil or motor lube), and yet the 5* reviews talk about her not being patronising, and giving clear explanations.
And a humble sausage pie that says your shortcrust pastry can be pre-made shop bought stuff or home made but doesn’t give a recipe for how to make your own. It’s almost as if Jack doesn’t know how.I see they’ve included the lemon and rosemary potatoes that contain no rosemary
also (and trying as ever to keep criticism to the recipes, not the creator) (insert your own Frankenstein's monster joke here):
...That potato salad is a war crime. That amount of sliced white onions will completely overwhelm everything else; also we are back again to the potential danger of exploding tinned potatoes in the microwave. Also why add generic 'light oil'? Presumably there'll be some oil from wherever the anchovies have come from, and the idea of sunflower oil in a dressing is properly horrible. Once again we return to the complete lack of understanding that different oils are used in different ways in cookery - some for cooking, some for consuming as is. This is like the Wario version of "Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat".
...That potato salad is a war crime. That amount of sliced white onions will completely overwhelm everything else; also we are back again to the potential danger of exploding tinned potatoes in the microwave. Also why add generic 'light oil'? Presumably there'll be some oil from wherever the anchovies have come from, and the idea of sunflower oil in a dressing is properly horrible. Once again we return to the complete lack of understanding that different oils are used in different ways in cookery - some for cooking, some for consuming as is. This is like the Wario version of "Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat".
SIXTY-THREE tweets in a day. I think that would take me 6 months.
I had to go back to that because I couldn’t quite believe it. Reading the whole recipe and method, I think my eyebrows have now LEFT my face. If you’re feeling fastidious you could, instead of quartering the cherry tomatoes, cut them into EIGHTS. Surely if you were feeling fastidious you’d mix mayonnaise, ketchup, lemon juice and have your own cocktail sauce?Jack's recipe for prawn cocktail is frozen prawns mixed with ready-made, shop-bought seafood sauce
Pan fry the grapefruit in its own juice or solid fat - it’s impossible to say how long for because everyone’s pans are different.
once it’s all prepared, pop it in the fridge until you want to eat it.
by which time, the liquid from the prawns, the lettuce, cucumber and grapefruit will have pooled in the bottom and you’ll have a watery plate
who pays her for this?! bleeping HELL.
If you're really skint making your own pastry is a life saver. Flour and lard are still very cheap and means you can make a meal from very little. This is the kind of thing I'd expect a real 'thrifty' cook to write about.
My eyes are bleary (send coffee-os) but does the non-rosemary roast potatoes really say to cook them for one and a half hours?? 90 mins??
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