Jack Monroe #460 Foghorn Beghorn

[zetta buttons]

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I try not to lie every fucking minute of the fucking day.

Try it, it’s nice.

 

[Salmonshirt]

‘Norn Iron’ and the stupid little phrases she puts in because she thinks it makes her sound Irish are my aneurysm.

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

Why book flop?
Loads of slop.

 

[Nurseali]

Holy shit. 749.
That is really a flop of a huge magnitude.

However look at how much work she has done to promote it. You get the result of the work you put in.

She is such a nobhead

 

[shugabug23]

Riiiiight Jack and Content will be grand on a 8 hour journey incl at least 3/4 changes. Dumbass

 

[jenny2603]

"Scotland has my heart"

Scotland doesn't want your manky old body parts, Jack. Why don't you piss off and annoy the French with le klaxon.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Do you know how many people I have to tell that my kids live With me ….. none. Because they know. Makes you think.

'My son, who definitely, 100% lives with me ........'

Yeah OK Jack.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Riiiiight Jack and Content will be grand on a 8 hour journey incl at least 3/4 changes. Dumbass

Or-DER, Or-DER, I do not consider Aberdeen the North of Scotland.

I will not be taking questions at this time .

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

SEVERE alcoholism. Not just any old alcoholism.

M&S alcholism.

Squig was commenting on Jack’s current landlord but Jack’s reply is .
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No time for your own grandad even? Must have been his million pound empire that you liked instead.

 

[Foxvint]

Not sure why she thinks her engagement is such a great thing. It's people rubber necking at a car crash.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

one of her trolls thinks this jack, I think they are linked to her by the following

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like they're praising her but given it's her 7th book (as she likes to remind us) these sales are poor

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ETA - guess that's one way to look at top 10

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Lol this is definitely, definitely not Jack. She’d never in a million years admit that only a third of a percent of her devoted Twitter following actually bought her book.

I love that someone in industry is treating us to the figures tea. Chapeau. (Would love it even more if it’s the girl who had to eat lunch at the shitty bungalow with Carole while they begged her to please give them anything she’d written because the deadline was three weeks ago).

 

[AlwightDallin]

I have friends in ‘normal’ jobs who’ve taken their kids to see the northern lights. In Norway. It’s really not that expensive. I can’t imagine the very northernmost point of Scotland, in a tent, for a weekend, would have quite the same ambience. Good thing this trip is fictitious, a timeline cleanser.

If it is true she’s not allowed to take him away on her own (or abroad?) then good, frankly. Shows someone’s looking out for SB. You can’t pretend to be anything near to a good mum if you’re admitting to years of 40 tramadol a day, a bottle and a half of whisky, days in bed, compulsive shopping, hoarding and tweeting all sorts 24/7.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

You know how we all said that Jack missed a trick when she failed to put slow cooker and air fryer recipes in, particularly given she has been using slow cookers for *checks notes* 10 years?

Looking on her old insta at a 2013 post, I think it was probably best that she didn’t include those recipes.

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It looks like she's cooked the dead gull she was holding.

 

[Veronicaaa]

 

[zetta buttons]

Had to leave the thread because #reasons she was pissing me off too much.

I don’t think I can catch up so apologies.

I went into Waterstones and Smiths again. No sign of batch lady (who I am softly, gently falling in love with btw) or BoL. I asked in Waterstones and they have sold out. Students here are obviously in the know (not so keen on Harry- tons of his books still around). Anyway, GK has been relegated up to cooking. One copy. I hid it. Behind a St John cookery book.

I have info about covenants on our and my parents’ properties but it’s boring and it’s more fun to talk about how bookshops are trying to hide her book.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

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We triangulated the lamps last year so

“Trauma response” because people asked her if she had her lights on moment of silence for Jacks therapist, guys.

 

[Emmapism]

Oh my godddddddd nobody cares just fucking move already

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

She’s the sort of person who storms out of the room in an argument and then comes back in seconds later saying ‘Oh! And another thing …‘

 

[AlwightDallin]

I know it’s impossible to make a stew look like haute cuisine but for comparison here’s my slow cooker chicken, veg and barley broth I’m just serving up with Yorkshires & carrot swede mash for my Harold and two Small People. Where’s my book?! Pls send patreonos.

 

[noweverythingsucks]

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1. How would she know? Seems unethical of the governing body to have in one day told both her and the therapist.
2. MIL?? Who is her mother in law?

So pretending to fulfil her obligations once in over two years cost her how much? And even if her admin assistant wasn't furloughed wasn't that at least 2 years ago? She needs to have another look at that bullshit timeline.

2011-2013 povs fault
2013-2020 alcohols fault
2020-2022 my admin assistant who LEFT me 's fault
2023 - trolls?