I agree entirely with this, and the previous post you quoted. I've talked about this before, and sorry if it's like I'm going on about it, but I have regular thoughts of suicide. Less so when things are going well, but they sneak up on me even then. It's mostly just tiresome, like having an ongoing argument with someone who doesn't like me very much. I dropped a big milk carton and made a mess at the weekend, because my (probably arthritic) hands were hurting and I didn't want to accept I couldn't lift it and my first thought was 'God, you're just a useless c**t, why don't you kill yourself and then people won't have to put up with you any more'. It's like it's not me talking when it happens, and 'actual me' has to take over and tell that thought to duck off. I sort of assume that most people don't have that happen to them on the regular and over such small things. I don't know what it is that causes it, because though I have had a lot of tit in my life, I am sure there are plenty of people who have had far worse things happen to them and didn't end up with that voice in their head, that ever present option. What I'm trying to, poorly, articulate is it's not about the situations I've faced, not about specific events that have driven me to the point where I'd consider it, it's just that somehow, it's an option for me.
Sorry, I don't mean this to sound all 'woe is me' because I don't mean it like that and I am fine, not JM fine, proper fine, I suppose what I'm saying is that the same event could happen to two different people and one would have that option and one wouldn't, because it isn't how their brain works. I have a suspicion, though it's only from personal experience and talking to a few people, that those who do kill themselves (sorry, I don't know the right words to use here), might have the same switch flipped in their head as I have, for whatever reason that happens.
I'm sure it's different for everyone, like most things, but the couple of times I have ever come close in 20+ years of feeling like this were not a result of one particular event, it was a build up of things until what I can only describe as overwhelming tiredness took over, and really just a desire to rest and not have to keep fighting any more. I appreciate that's only personal experience though. I guess what I'm getting at is that had I done it, no event/person/situation would have been the cause, it would have been the way my head deals with things.
Sorry, that was long, and not very well written and I hope doesn't seem insensitive.
There’s something about the way you post that just clicks with me. You do keep fighting though and although the option is there, you don’t listen to it. And the next time you get even the hint that you’re a useless c*nt, think of three things to counter that if you can. There’s nowt useless about a person that sees off a cancer scare 
