I can't breathe. I've laughed so much as this I am wheezing. I've had to try and explain the hilarity to Mr Elastoblast. After briefing him on the great grifter's guardian article on Saturday and other nonsense he hooted when I told him someone asked her for the Georgia Church Suppers book.Ah, Dingo Baby Meryl Streep Jack is one of my absolute favorites
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Oh, you just know she isn't.....I hope she's a "picker upper". Coops and Content might defile the communal garden
Paging Jimmy Nail........So why not start giving some of the shit you have in all those boxes away 6 months ago when you started "practising" living in a titchy one bedroom flat? Why now, at almost the last minute? It's almost as if she needs to come across as a kind and generous soul to distract from her being exposed as a greedy, grifting c*nt, isn't it?
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Please let this end up with angry residents banding together against anti- social behaviour in the block. I want the local paper involved- the works.Oh, you just know she isn't.....
I’m over 30 and under 50 with no kids and I would love somewhere like that as because I don’t have kids I would be able to have amazing bbq/parties that go on all night before collapsing in the summerhouse.I hadn’t bothered looking but I reckon you’re probably right. Most people under the age of 50-60 wouldn’t fancy somewhere like that unless they are actively raising kids at home, but it’s right up her street. Boring location despite being close to the beach. There are nicer cheaper places available in what to me are much better (more interesting) bits of the town, also very close to the beach.
If I was her and spending that much, especially cash, I’d probably be looking in east London (which is pretty much just as easy for access to SB, maybe 20 mins longer by train) - if only because it’s more interesting, has plenty of decent activities and communities for creatives, and easy access to central with all the things you can do there. But for some reason she wants to stay in a town where everyone thinks she’s a joke. Ho hum.
Oh well, if she made wise and well reasoned decisions, none of us would be here, right?!
I reckon she's a performative picker upper- the kind that bag it, but don't take the shit bags home with them, and leave them against walls/near bins/hung on railings etcOh, you just know she isn't.....
Paging Jimmy Nail........
what utter shit. Does she seriously expect anyone to believe this nonsense?
I'm sure she once claimed to have never given away any books before, including all her childhood ones.I wonder if she’ll be giving away the “Biff and Chip Seize The Means of Production” intro to Communism and (clearly brand new and unread) Nineteen Eighty Four books she flashed on social last year when she wanted to prove what a (Monarchist and luxury goods hoarding) socialist she was?
Jack gets in the paper for NOT putting poos in bags???Please let this end up with angry residents banding together against anti- social behaviour in the block. I want the local paper involved- the works.
Is your muffin buttered?I resisted making a similar quip because Wet Leg make me want to rip my on ears off and throw them in the bin.
Maybe she's scared of them? Actual Poors go in them sometimes. She might have to take her stab vest*Her total indifference to libraries is my aneurysm.
The flat itself is fine, I’m not dissing the flat though it isn’t to my taste. It’s more that you wouldn’t be able to have all day or all night parties more than once or twice. Partly because the neighbours would probably have your guts for garters directly (and would never forgive you!), and partly because as it’s Thorpe Bay the council would actually bother to deal with the noise complaints your neighbours would inevitably bombard them with. Thorpe Bay is boring and quiet mainly because the locals like it boring and quiet. Noisy parties bring down property valuesI’m over 30 and under 50 with no kids and I would love somewhere like that as because I don’t have kids I would be able to have amazing bbq/parties that go on all night before collapsing in the summerhouse.
I'm sure all these imaginary authors who gave Jack promotional copies are thrilled that not only does she not review them, she puts them into free public circulation.
The long life own brand milk was rank. I still can't stand cows milk.I'm just trying to imagine the reaction if I cast up to my parents that everything we ate was supermarket own make and ask if they feel guilty*. They are not violent people but I think the atmosphere could turn quite ugly.
*Other than the crisps and shit diluting juice I wasn't bothered.
That was my aneurysm. The "I was depressed and dyed everything black." Not that she wasn't depressed. I'd be depressed if I were Jack. But the level of depression she described--I was there. I was hospitalized multiple times, fuck. And the thought of dying ALL my clothing black to express my depression never crossed my mind. It was too much work to get out of bed, to brush my teeth, to shower. I was too tired to express myself with pen and paper, with crayons, with words to my husband. I know people experience mental illness differently. But the depth she describes, she was just to fucking busy and engaged (online).Just lean into it and dye all your clothes black, tenderstem. Gets the thirsty dads going and bam, donations.
In all seriousness I hope things improve soon
The fact that a palace like that is referred to as a ‘flat’ is my aneurysm. Have u not seen the conditions in Nottingham cottage that poor h &m were subjected to?The flat itself is fine, I’m not dissing the flat though it isn’t to my taste. It’s more that you wouldn’t be able to have all day or all night parties more than once or twice. Partly because the neighbours would probably have your guts for garters directly (and would never forgive you!), and partly because as it’s Thorpe Bay the council would actually bother to deal with the noise complaints your neighbours would inevitably bombard them with. Thorpe Bay is boring and quiet mainly because the locals like it boring and quiet. Noisy parties bring down property values
She is a bit Herb Tarlick in that jacket.It's not even tweed. I looks like polyester.
I've been picturing her in one of the apartments from Marvellous Mrs Maisal with 20 rooms and a maid.Are there any massive warehouse style apartments on south end? The type you see in films set in New York. Maybe that's where Foghorn Beghorn is moving to.
I think it's probably best that we never find out.
Good point. Our landlord refers to our flat as an “apartment” even though it’s basically a little boxThe fact that a palace like that is referred to as a ‘flat’ is my aneurysm. Have u not seen the conditions in Nottingham cottage that poor h &m were subjected to?
Oh lord. Imagine having to share a communal area with Jack?! You’re just trying to have a coffee, a fag and a minute to yourself before work when that shark eyed toad pops up at the window, then rushes over with homemade prune and sardine cookies.
It annoys me that people are always recommended Dishoom when asked where go in Edinburgh. Its not even the best Indian in a mile radius.She'd probably be scared shitless in East London, doubling up on the stab vests.
But being serious for a minute...I don't think any of that really matters to her because she doesn't really do anything. She goes on about her amazing life, all her friends blah blah blah, but she must spend 90% of her time sat in the house rage-tweeting/reading.
Think about when she went to Edinburgh and was so excited about finding Dishoom. Out of all the amazing places to eat in Edinburgh ()...1 - it's a chain (a small one and its good, but its still a chain) and 2) its on a main square in one of the fancier parts of the city that always has loads of tourists.
She's fundamentally boring and has no real curiosity about anything, which why she has to make up so much shit to seem interesting.
One of the residents in the block of flats my boyfriend used to live in had chickens and the communal garden was always covered in bird shit. That's what I've been picturing when I imagine sharing one with Jack.I hope she's a "picker upper". Coops and Content might defile the communal garden
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