Jack Monroe #459 That westboro baptist church penis wig will haunt her forever

[FunnyFuneral]

Her landlord is Daddy "Don't mess it up, princess". The convenant bollocks is probably just his ground rules.

Also, I wonder if the new home will be purchased through a shell company? Makes you think.

When did Dirty Den tip up, Prince6?

 

[MistyWindows]

I won’t lie Ninnies, I’m struggling to keep up with our coke addled prat atm, if you’re reading this Jack then spare a thought for the grunkers and take a day off plz thankspaceyou.
Anyway, my sister got some FANCY chocolate mooses from Tesco and I ended up sitting on the sofa laughing and pointing at mine because it made me think of you lot.
She looked concerned until I explained it. Then she looked slightly less concerned.

Am I big Dave?!

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

She is utterly deranged you know. Just absolutely consumed by the fact that people don’t buy her shite.
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Biog of the squig she’s replying to:
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I strongly believe an enabler like this is not qualified to coach addicts.

His LinkedIn says he’s MBACP, in which case he probably ought to read their social media guidance, cos he seems to be breaking quite a few bits of it https://www.bacp.co.uk/membership/membership-policies/social-media/

 

[lilykestrel]

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Is this a roundabout way of saying it's a leasehold and the 'landlord' is a management company/whatever

 

[TitsMcGee]

You’re not wrong there, tenderstem. Here’s what a £5k Burberry Brit Leather Jacket looks like. Styling by Jack Monroe
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Grunking atm but duck ME DEAD WHAT WAS SHE THINKING

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Why Jack need consolin?
Her crumpet have no hole in.

Just snorted tea

 

[House of Carbonara]

Swiss army knives almost always have a tin opener blade, designed to be hooked over the rim to give leverage. If she meant one of those, there'd have been no need for a mallet.

Conclusion: she's lying.

ETA:

Jack lying? Never!!
Also - if she's really used a Swiss Army knife as the knife to open the can she's even more stupid than previously thought.
Nah, she's lying.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Now Jack, come on. You cannot expect us to believe that the only proven to know and spend ANY time with you in real life friend you have - Spaniel Friend - would just jump to a random conclusion that you have bought a place and congratulate you on said "first buy" on Twitter. Please credit us with one single shred of intelligence.

Chapeau this thread, ninnies. I have hooted my way through from the title to the posts throughout.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

When did Dirty Den tip up, Princess.
When oh when x

.
Too short apparently must be approx 5 ft 1.7 feet. I mean I'm 5 ft 1 so, much shorter. I'm short, but have also been described as dumpy by a friend of Mr FF. Isn't that a charming description x

 

[CarmenGhia]

Grunking atm but duck ME DEAD WHAT WAS SHE THINKING

"Tonight Matthew, I'm performing as Shirley from Eastenders going through a goth phase."

 

[CarmenGhia]

She did claim once she'd had a car, didn't she? It was probably a lie, although she always says "doesn't drive" rather than "can't drive".

 

[Amanda Lin]

May I mither back to this;

She had therapy because she gave her son basic range cereal?

So brave of her to overcome this trauma and now have enough money to buy high-end furniture.

Can you even imagine being cold & eating smart price food? What absurd patronising crap, and also just shows how brief (if at all) her experience of poverty was.

How insulting to anyone she claims to speak for.

 

[Emmapism]

My flat cost less than half that.

Then again I can sleep at night because I didn't get the money to buy it by lying and begging soooooo

 

[ChickenPorridge]

May I mither back to this;

View attachment 1875155

She had therapy because she gave her son basic range cereal?

So brave of her to overcome this trauma and now have enough money to buy high-end furniture.

Can you even imagine being cold & eating smart price food? What absurd patronising crap, and also just shows how brief (if at all) her experience of poverty was.

How insulting to anyone she claims to speak for.

And err, the fact that she claims to still feed him on basics now. We all remember the soggy little cream cheese and carrot sandwiches and 10g weight corn snack bags she was giving him for lunch a year or two back. Can only hope that's not what he actually gets!

 

[FunnyFuneral]

"Tonight Matthew, I'm performing as Shirley from Eastenders going through a goth phase."

Small Boy says "you're not my mother" Kat Jack says "yes I am " x
I left off watching EE about 20 years ago x
When Roley and Little Willie were deceased

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Just FYI, the £450k ground floor flat near the seafront that is my best bet for her purchase......is a share of the freehold.

Front driveway is huge but she only gets 1 parking space which makes me think the rest is up for discussion or covenant etc etc.
If she wants to use the driveway for something other than a car parking space then it wouldneed to be agreedby the other share owners of the freehold.

Could put a caravan there!

 

[jenny2603]

Just FYI, the £450k ground floor flat near the seafront that is my best bet for her purchase......is a share of the freehold.

Front driveway is huge but she only gets 1 parking space which makes me think the rest is up for discussion or covenant etc etc.
If she wants to use the driveway for something other than a car parking space then it wouldneed to be agreedby the other share owners of the freehold.

No tomatoes for your lover on OUR drive.

 

[House of Carbonara]

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Oh do duck off, Jack.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Fraus I am fuming. Purple Squig really doesn’t deserve the privacy of being squigged,

Late, but duck me purple squig is VILE. Almost don’t believe she’s real, surely not.

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

A garden flat with covenants and a communal area out the front?

Makes you think.

(I really must stop doing this....

Shan't)

Communal PAVED area out the front ?